“But whatever you choose, Summer and I will support you,” Kiera continued. “All I ever wanted for you guys, for me, for the women I work with, is that our life choices be our own. There is no greater freedom than that. And I admire Merc for giving you the space to decide what’s best for you.”
After the girls left, Ash took their dishes to the kitchen. Merc was standing beside the door to her bedroom when she returned. For a long moment, they exchanged a look in silence.
“You heard,” she said.
He nodded. “I expected this was the decision you would make. I don’t blame you for it. In any way. And I agree it’s for the best.”
Ash had to fight back her tears. She had to be strong for Merc, even though this was the hardest thing she’d ever done in her life.
“You’ll still need to have weekly blood draws—for a few more weeks. You’ll come out to the fort for those? We want to know you’re safe from any mutant infectants.”
She nodded. “I won’t remember them, though, will I?”
“Nah, you won’t.”
“Will I remember you? Will I ever see you again?”
“You won’t remember me, but we’ll run into each other at the fort.” He touched her cheek. “I’ll always be there for you, Ash.”
She reached out and put her hands on his chest. “And when I touch you, nothing will come through?”
“Nothing.”
God, this felt so wrong.
But sometimes, the wrong thing was the only right thing to do.
34
Ash woke the next morning feeling wonderfully rested. She stretched in bed, then spent a moment watching the sunlight coming through her window blinds. She hadn’t felt so rested, so clear-minded in a long time. The two trips to Valle de Lágrimas must have taken a bigger toll on her than she’d wanted to admit.
She got up, fixed a cup of coffee, then took her shower and dressed. She made another cup of coffee and headed to the office.
The drive was just a few minutes across town. She parked in her old spot, glad to see no one had taken it. She smiled to herself, feeling better than she had in a long while, though she couldn’t quite place what it was she was feeling better about.
She waved and smiled at her boss on her way down the hall to her office. He frowned at her, which made her giggle. Someone was having a bad day. He followed her to her office.
“Why are you cheerful?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Dunno. Because you haven’t been in a while. Well, good. Glad you’re finally back. It’s been a while since you’ve been, you know, you.”
Ash smiled. “I know. And I’m sorry for that.”
Her officemates were giving her odd looks, like they had that time she’d worn a silly hat for the internet’s velvet squirrel hat day. It was good to keep them on their toes.
She picked up her office mug and went for a fresh cup of coffee. She reached for the handle of the pot, but paused. Sometimes she got a strange buzz of energy from things she touched. She really didn’t want to feel that right then, so she set her mind to blocking any feedback she might get.
It worked. She poured her coffee without any strange stories running through her head.
“Ashlyn! You’re back!” Carrie, the boss’s secretary, hugged her. She kept up with the coffee and the gossip, and everything else that held the crew together. “How are you feeling?”
“Much, much better. Glad to be here, actually.”
“Hey”—Carrie looked around—“come here.” She led Ash back to Ash’s office. Standing off to the side, she pointed her thumb out the window. “Do you know that guy?”
Ash went over and looked down to the sidewalk below. A tall guy stood there. He had an angular face and light-colored eyes. His blond hair was straight. “No. I can’t place him.”
“He’s just standing there, staring up at your office.”
Ash snorted. “You don’t know that he’s staring at my office. More like he’s staring at the building.”
Carrie looked out again. “It’s creepy.”
“There are creepers everywhere. If he stays there much longer, get security to move him along.”
“Okay, I will. I’m glad you’re back, hon.”
“Me too.”
When Carrie left, Ash looked out the window again, but the guy was gone. She hadn’t lied about not knowing him, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was odd as hell about him.
Ash wasn’t out of the woods yet. Merc had felt Flynn’s energy outside her building. The bastard was still interested in her, even though Merc had suppressed Ash’s memories of him. Maybe Flynn had just been checking to see where her head was. He used any easy way in to the people and places he wanted. Merc hoped Ash was now out of his reach.
What Merc wasn’t glad about was that she was out of his reach too. It stung to see how much happier Ash was without him. He doubted she would have been strong enough to transition into his world. Her mind was too agile, her heart too big. Fear of their enemies would have eaten her alive from the inside out.
He loved her. That was all. There were no words that could further describe how he felt for her. Love was the apex emotion any human or mutant could experience.
He wished his team had let him go when tried to make an exit for himself in that pit. They should have.
Now, he was going to have to find a way forward, living without his heart once again.
Ash grabbed an airy blue wrap and her purse as Kiera pulled into her drive. She hurried outside and went around to the front passenger seat.
“Want to take my car?” Ash asked. The drive out to the fort was at least an hour, so it chewed up a lot of gas.
Kiera gave her one of those big-sister glares. “I’m already blocking your car. We’ll just take mine. You can drive next time.” She backed out of the driveway.
“Fine.” Ash grinned at her friend. “I’m so excited to see Summer. I feel like I’ve been an absent friend for months.”
“You have been—between work and two trips to Valle de Lágrimas. But we do understand.”
“How’ve you been, Kiera?”
Kiera looked at Ash, then focused on the road. “You know, when you do something, anything, you’re in it one-hundred percent.”
Ash smiled, unsure whether she was referring to herself or to Ash. “We have that in common. I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you.”
“It’s all good. You’re getting back to yourself now, I think. Are you feeling well?”
“I feel great. I think the time off was worth it. You should try it some time.”
“I wish I could.”
“Problems at your shelter?”
Kiera nodded. “We are missing more women. Still the same problem as before. They call ahead to let us know they’ll be coming over, then they don’t show. Or my check-ins with former clients show they’ve been erased. Their families don’t know them. Their employers have no records of them. Mine is not the only center this is happening to.” She gave Ash a sad smile. “So, no vacations for me until I get to the bottom of it.”