Right?
Liam takes my silence as my answer and he shoves a hand through his black hair and shakes his head. “Just … watch your back, okay? I don’t fucking want you to go down in flames with him.”
A shallow breath bursts from my nostrils. “I … Liam, do you know something I don’t know?”
He gives me a sad smile and tilts his head to one side. “No, and that’s what makes it so bad. That you know all this shit about him and yet, here we are.”
Pushing to his feet, he walks out of the weight room before I can wrap my lips around a response.
I sit and stare at the door long after he’s disappeared, my heart pounding against the walls of my chest. My emotions are all over the place now. I went from relief to anger to apprehension so quickly, my head’s spinning. Standing, I decide to just go and do what it was I came here to do—beat the shit out of a punching bag until I can barely think anymore.
Storming out of the weight room, I make my way to the boxing room, flip on the lights and find myself a bag. I don’t waste time and begin slamming my fists into my defenseless, lifeless opponent as hard as I can. My anger takes over and my technique goes out the window. Gabe would have a heart attack if he saw my sloppy punches, but I don’t care. This isn’t about practice or skill. This is about unleashing everything boiling up inside of me before I lose my fucking mind.
I don’t know how long I go for, but I don’t stop, even when my hands start to hurt and my muscles scream for mercy. I push through the pain because my mind won’t let me stop. It won’t calm down or think rationally. It just keeps latching onto all the terrible things in my life that I can’t change or control. A part of me realizes that I’m likely punishing myself for everything I’ve done that’s hurt those around me, but I still don’t stop. I deserve the punishment. I deserve the pain. I deserve to suffer.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
I let out a startled scream and whirl around with my fists up, only to come face-to-face with a very pissed off Saint.
“Oh, shit, you scared me,” I gasp, exhaling as I bend forward with my hands on my knees.
“I scared you?” he asks incredulously, rapidly advancing on me. “You should be fucking scared, but not of me. What do you think you’re doing, wandering around campus by yourself at night when there’s a murderer on the loose, your pedophile ex-boyfriend walking free somewhere, mean girl bitches who’d love nothing more than to see you bleed to death, and the campus police, who are just looking for an excuse to bust your skinny ass?”
The last few words are shouted, but when I stand upright, I square my shoulders, refusing to let him intimidate me.
“Well, shit, when you lay it all out like that, it really seems there’s danger waiting for me around every corner,” I joke, trying to make light of things. Still, his outburst is surprising. Is he really upset I’m out by myself, or is he just angry he woke up alone? If it’s the second one, he can suck a dick.
He glares down at me. “You pull this shit again, I’ll take you over my knee and spank you until your ass is red, got it?”
My breath catches. “Don’t threaten me with that—” But I pause, finally processing something he’d included in his list of people out to get me. “Wait, what did you mean campus police are looking for a reason to bust me? I thought that was over.”
“Apparently you forgot there’s a missing student and a few dead ones, thanks to a Kentucky-fried-fucking building right across campus that everyone still thinks you burned to the ground to get back at me.” When I swallow hard, he gives me a slow, smug blink. “Don’t worry about it. That’s why I’m paying your attorney so much, so they don’t bother you with a problem that’s already been … dissolved.”
Dissolved.
A sick feeling swirls my insides, turning the pit of my stomach into lava. “Saint … please tell me you didn’t—”
“Wake up alone?” He lowers his forehead to mine, his intense eyes burning down on me and flashing with warning. “I did, and now you’re not sleeping tonight either. Come on, we’re going back.”
I want to push him for more, but he wraps his arm around my shoulders and practically drags me out the door. By the stubborn set of his jaw, I can tell he considers this conversation over.
It can’t be over, though. I’ll let it be put on pause for now, but if he thinks I’m going to let it go completely, he doesn’t know me at all.
Saint’s comments are still on my mind the next evening when I take an Uber to Ravenwood to meet with Kristyn. That sick feeling is also still twisting my stomach, and it’s only gotten worse as the day dragged on. Saint stayed with me last night, though I struggled to get any sleep and it wasn’t due to his threat to keep me awake—he had drifted off to sleep a few minutes after his head hit the pillow.
I had laid in bed for hours, staring at my ceiling as I replayed that single word in my head.
Dissolved.
When I finally did go to sleep, he disappeared on me again. I told myself upon first waking to find him gone that it was probably for the best, but I couldn’t stop the disappointment from returning to mix in with all the other shit running through me right now.
Taking some time away from Angelview will be a good distraction. Having a task to focus on will help my brain calm down, even if just for a bit.
When I arrive at Ravenwood, there’s a pretty blonde girl in a navy and white school uniform waiting for me. I can’t help but think of Laurel when I take in her bored expression, but apparently, this is just the generic bitch look at these schools.
“Hey,” she says when I step out of the car. “I’m Kristyn.”
I offer her my hand. “Carley,” I lie. “Thanks for helping me out.”
She gazes down at my offered hand like it’s covered in vomit.
With a sigh, she looks back up at me and says, “This way.”
I drop my hand, inexplicably embarrassed, and follow her as she leads me through campus. The place is pretty similar to Angelview in structure and appearance, but Ravenwood’s school colors hang throughout, displayed on banners on the light poles and on the crests in front of buildings.
Kristyn doesn’t say anything to me as we make our way to the library and inside, but I don’t really mind. I have a feeling we wouldn’t have a lot in common anyway. She takes me inside and leads me toward the back of the building. There’s an empty table she directs me to, tucked away among rows and rows of records.
“Okay, so you can have free rein of this place,” she explains, though I can tell by looking at her that she’s over this. “The librarians know to let you have access to stuff, and I guess when you’re done, you can just head out on your own.”
Damn, I hadn’t expected to get quite so lucky with this. I figured I’d have to dodge some sort of babysitter to get to the information I really wanted.
I bob my head. “Yeah, sounds good.”
“Cool. See you later.” With that, Kristyn turns and walks away, turning around just once to look at me again, and then I’m left alone to do as I wish.
I don’t waste a second and get to work immediately, scouring the shelves for old student records, yearbooks—anything I can find that might be useful.