Would he hurt me to do it?
I’ve no doubt he would.
The real question, though, is what would Saint do?
Stripping from my clothes, I step into the shower and turn the water so it’s almost scalding. The burn feels good, and I can almost imagine my doubts and fears being scoured off my skin. I can’t get them out of my head, though. When I wash my hair, my fingers are rough against my scalp, but they can’t reach inside and pluck the bullshit from my mind, no matter how hard I try.
By the time I step out of the stall, my skin is pink and raw, and the top of my head is sore. I carefully dry off and wrap myself in my towel to pad to my closest and dig out a uniform.
Dressed, I return to the bathroom to dry my hair and finish my morning routine. When I’m ready and nearing the time where I’ve got to go or I won’t be able to eat breakfast, I grab my backpack and walk to my door. I don’t want to leave my room and face anybody, but I’m not a coward, and I won’t let my insecurities about Saint hurt my attendance.
My academic performance is about all I’ve got left at this point.
I open my door, however, and freeze.
Saint’s standing on the other side of the threshold.
“About fucking time,” he says, though there’s no heat in his words. “I was about to come in there after you.”
“What—”
“I’m walking you to breakfast. That’s the meal that’s typically eaten before lunch.”
He says it so casually, as if nothing’s wrong at all. In fact, his whole demeanor is nonchalant and relaxed. He looks as if he doesn’t have a care in the world.
Has he suppressed the memory of our conversation from last night?
“Are you okay?” I murmur.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
He’s got to be joking. Putting on a front but it’s incredibly convincing.
“You know why.”
His face turns to stone, but when he responds, he dodges the subject. “When are you free this week?”
My brow puckers. “I … I don’t know. Why?”
“We need to replace your dress,” he mutters. “It’ll be easier if you just come with me this time. I think your tits might be bigger than I initially thought.”
“My dress?” It takes me a moment to comprehend that he’s talking about my destroyed prom dress. “Saint, that’s not—”
“We could get the same one again, if that’s what you want.” He’s completely ignoring me. Forcing me into a topic of discussion of his choosing.
“I never said I’d—”
“Or, we could get you a different one.” His wide shoulders pop into a shrug. “So long as it’s tight and shows off your ass.”
Now he’s just being crude to distract me. I know his tricks. I’ve fallen for them plenty of times before already.
“You can’t just avoid talking to me about your father.”
His expression turns frigid again. “Let’s go or you won’t have time for breakfast.”
I want to scream at him in frustration, but he’s already turned and is walking down the hall. Rolling my eyes, I hurry to catch up with him. He’s not getting away from me so easily.
“Are you in shock?”
He doesn’t look at me as he shakes his head. “What kind of stupid question is that? I’m fine.”
He’s absolutely not fine, and if he is, he’s crazier than I thought.
“Saint, you can’t just—” We reach the elevator, and he jabs the button so aggressively, I flinch. “Do you need to be so difficult?”
He continues to brush me off as the elevator arrives and he steps inside. I follow close behind and press my back to the far wall. Crossing my arms, I turn my gaze upward and spot the security camera tucked in the corner.
I suddenly remember Nora and her threats.
“Fine, you can ignore me all you want,” I mutter, hugging my torso. “But I meant what I said yesterday. You and I are done.”
I stare at the gleaming metal doors, taking in his tense shoulders and rigid jaw. “That’s not what you want.”
I grind the heel of my palm against my forehead. “It’s complicated, okay?”
At last, the elevator doors ding open, and I hurry out onto the building’s main floor. Saint’s hot on my heels as I hurry to the main doors, yelling at an outraged girl in a fluffy blue towel to fuck off when she points out that no males are allowed in our building.
I’m out on the sidewalk before he catches me, grabbing hold of my arm to stop me. “Explain.”
I don’t really see the point in keeping the truth from him, especially since he knows pretty much everything else by this point. “Nora has cameras planted in my room. I’ve found several of them, but I don’t know if I’ve got them all.”
“She’s watching you?”
I feel a strange warmth blossom in my chest at his immediate anger, but I force down any tender emotions that threaten to rise up for him.
Instead, I nod. “And I’m sure she’s got eyes on me in other places to. If she finds out we’re hanging around each other, she’ll be furious.”
“I don’t give a fuck what she thinks.”
“You should,” I say, shaking his hand off my arm. “Jon Eric? Angelle House? That’s all her.”
“Angelle House was an electrical fire.”
I blink. “It was her trying to get back at you.”
If that fazes him, he doesn’t show it.
“You think I’m afraid of her?” He reaches up and snags my chin between his fingers, drawing my face closer to his. “I will burn her world down around her.”
A shallow breath escapes my lips. “That’s what got us here in the first place.”
I pull my chin from his grip and turn toward the dining hall. He’s close on my heels but doesn’t say anything to me the entire walk. When we arrive at D-hall, he grips my shoulder to stop me.
I tense, but not because I don’t want his touch. The heat from his fingers seep through my blazer and shirt and soaks into my skin. I want to lean back into him, and shudder when I feel his breath hot against my ear.
“I don’t care what Nora thinks or wants. Let her and my father tear each other apart,” he hisses. “But neither one of them will touch you.”
A blush burns my cheeks, and I’m glad he’s behind me and can’t see it. His words are so confident and bold, I almost believe them. I almost believe he could defy Nora without either of us getting hurt. It’s tempting to think he’ll protect me from her, but I remember Jenn and the fact that everything I’m doing is to protect her and not myself.
Saint doesn’t force me to answer him. Instead, he steps around me and grabs my hand. Keeping his eyes locked straight ahead, he walks into the dining hall with me in tow. I follow without objection or hesitation because I don’t want to acknowledge the point in either anymore.
25
“Where’s your bodyguard today?” Loni asks, her tone teasing. We’re sitting together out on the quad, soaking up a few moments of sun between classes.
“Who knows. He didn’t show up at my door today. Hasn’t been answering my texts either.”