Ignoring what she said, I asked, “Do you think I’m a selfish person? And answer me honestly, please.”
“Sometimes, but we all can be selfish sometimes. Why are you asking?”
“I had a lot of time to think in that cell and I realized that for the most part I behaved selfishly. I did what I wanted to do, had fun when I wanted to, and I really didn’t care what people thought.”
“What does this have to do with Bodie?” she asked.
“All night I heard people tell me what he did to save me, and all I can think about is, would I have done the same thing? I’m not sure I can answer yes to that.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. Karma, you are a very giving person when it comes to people you care about. If Kayleigh needed your last ten dollars, would you give it to her?”
“Yes.”
“Would it matter what she needed it for?”
“No.”
“If it came down to having to come back home because your dad was very sick, would you give up your scholarship to come home and help me?”
“Of course.”
“But you’ve worked your entire life to get a diving scholarship at a good school.”
“Sure, but you and dad are more important than that. You’ve given up so much more than that to raise me and give me what I needed.”
Mom hugged me. “Karma, those aren’t the acts of a selfish person. Now, tell me what’s really going on with Bodie.”
“I guess I’m scared.”
“Why?”
“The first time I try an actual relationship, I almost ended up going to prison.”
“You know that Bodie isn’t like Anthony.”
“I know, and I guess that was just an excuse because what Bodie and I have right now is really good. We’re friends and I know I can count on him. What if we try for more and it blows up in our faces”?
“That’s always a possibility honey. But right now, I want you to just say the first things that come into your head about Bodie. Don’t think about it, just talk.”
“I like being around him. He makes me laugh. I can trust him. He’s fun. He’s sweet but hides it from people. He makes me feel safe.” I stopped as soon as I said that, but I realized it was true.
“I think you have your answer honey.”
“But don’t you think it’s too soon? I mean, I was with Anthony for over two months and then the whole jail thing. I don’t know if jumping into a relationship with Bodie is the responsible thing to do.”
“Sweetheart, how long have you known Bodie?”
“Since the start of the school year, so like eight months I guess.”
“And how long have you been attracted to him?”
I grinned. “Since the first time I laid eyes on him.”
“When did you start to like him as a person and not just someone to have sex with?”
“Actually, after the first, and only, time we had sex.”
Mom smiled. “There was a connection, right?”
“Yeah, how did you know?”
“The same thing happened with your father and I the first time we slept together.”
“Ew, mom, I don’t want to hear about you and dad.”
She laughed. “Just like I don’t want to hear about your sex life either. But you needed someone to talk to and here I am.” I groaned because she was right, as usual. “So,” mom said, “what does your heart, not your head, tell you?”
I didn’t answer right away because I was thinking. I allowed myself to go back to the night we had sex and remembered how right everything felt. It wasn’t just two bodies coming together, it was more. Bodie had never said it, but I was sure he’d felt it too.
“I’m going to give it a chance,” I finally said.
“Good. Now, go tell him.”
Smiling at mom I left the room and practically ran down the hallway to where I knew Bodie was. I knocked on the door.
“Karma?” he said, when he opened it.
I walked in and closed the door. I could tell he was confused. Not giving him a chance to say anything I walked him backwards until we were at the couch. I pushed him down and straddled him.
Before he knew what was happening, my mouth was on his. He moaned and kissed me back, then he stopped.
“Wait,” he said, a little breathlessly. “What’s going on?”
I giggled at the look on his face. “I was wrong, Bodie. I think we should try this and see where it goes.”
“Huh?”
“It’s time to be totally honest. I’ve had feelings for you since we had sex, but I did my best to not acknowledge they existed. I didn’t want to ruin what we had so I pretended everything was the way it was before. Anthony was the perfect distraction, but I’ll admit, I thought about you a lot. You and I had a safe relationship as friends, and I didn’t want to lose that. But it’s come to my attention that I can sometimes be selfish in a good way. And I want to be selfish with you Bodie. I want you and I want to see what we can be together. That is if you want the same thing.”
I’m not sure what part of that really got to him but his mouth was on mine as soon as I finished talking. It was a wildly desperate kiss that made me a little crazy.
He stood up, taking me with him. My legs wrapped around him and he took us to the bedroom. Gently he put me on the bed and stared at me.
“Yes, Karma, I’d like to see what we can be together.”
I know I had the biggest grin on my face because I could see he meant what he said. Bodie bent over me and placed a kiss on my forehead and worked his way to my neck. I was already squirming under him.
“I need to feel you,” I told him.
He got the hint and slowly took off my shoes, jeans and t-shirt.
He smiled. “I was hoping I’d get to see you like this again.” Then he took off my bra and panties. I swear he touched every single part of my body with his hands and lips. My whole body was on fire. I’d never felt so desired in my life.
“Bodie, I think I might spontaneously combust if you don’t put your dick in me right now.”
He chuckled. “We need to work on your patience, but right now, your wish is my command.”
The heat of his body was gone, but only long enough for him to put a condom on. No more words were said as he entered me, and I knew this was going to be so much more than last time.
He took his time, even though I could tell it was killing him, his movements were slow and controlled, but the look on his face wasn’t. I could see the desire written all over him. He didn’t stop looking at me the entire time. I think that was more intimate than the sex.
Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. “Bodie, please, I need more.”
He understood and started moving faster. I was gripping his arms so tight I was sure I was leaving marks. I could feel my orgasm building. I exploded with the most intense orgasm of my life and the only word out of my mouth was Bodie. He came right after me. Hearing him say my name with such passion was something I’d never forget.
After a few minutes, we came down from our highs. He disposed of the condom and came right back to me. We got under the blanket and he pulled me as close to him as I could get. It felt so right, and I’d never been more content. In that moment, I knew I’d made the right decision and couldn’t wait to see what the future held.