Either way, knowing was better.
I got almost the whole way to her window before I second-guessed myself and turned around. I got about ten paces before I firmly convinced myself to get it together and turned back. Again, almost to her window before I chickened out. Another fifteen paces before I sucked it up. Five from her window and I wussed out. Ten away and manned up.
“You practising for a turtle beep test, mate?”
I whirled around to face Brendan. “Hey.”
“Hi. You two in a fight, or…?” he petered out like he couldn’t fathom any other reason I’d be pacing outside her window.
I opened my mouth and tried to come up with an answer. “No?” I tried. “I…” I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t tell him I’d kissed his daughter and had no idea what my intentions were. I didn’t know my intentions because I didn’t know her intentions, but I doubted Brendan cared about that just then.
Brendan chuckled. “This can’t be as bad as the time you cut her Barbie’s hair?”
I gave him a small smile. “I don’t know. Bigger ages, bigger problems?”
Brendan nodded. “There hasn’t been a single thing you two have faced that you couldn’t overcome.”
I sighed. “I wish it was that simple.”
Brendan crossed his arms, but it was just his stance when there might have been unwanted emotions happening. “Getting older’s scary, Zane. I remember being your age and it was damned terrifying. Things change, people change, relationships change. All while you’re flooded with hormones, and people expect you to behave like adults while treating you like kids. I get it. But not all change is bad. You know?”
I nodded. “I guess. I mean, what if we change so much we lose each other?”
“It’s been almost fifteen years since she first ran inside and told us there was a ghost in the yard and he was her new best friend. In that time, I’ve watched the two of you grow and change and fight so many times I’ve lost count. It’s never going to stop. She’s a strong-willed young woman, you’re a stubborn young man, and you both live to push each other’s buttons.”
“What if I mess up? If it’s not worth it?”
Brendan huffed a laugh. “Mate, I know all about what the Baines women are worth. They take forever to open up but, once they have, it takes a lot to shake their faith in you. Charley hasn’t given up on you yet, despite the times she comes in yelling the house down because you did something stupid. Her head might stop talking to you, but her heart never will.”
“She’s my best friend,” I said, not sure if I was making an excuse or a plea, or something else entirely.
It wasn’t wrong. Even if I wanted to kiss her, she was still my best friend. That would – hopefully – never change.
“I know, son. And I know, no matter what, she feels the same way.”
I let out a deep breath. “Okay.”
“Okay. So, whatever hiccough the two of you have run into, go in there and talk to her about it.”
I nodded. “Yes. I can do this.”
“Yes, you can. Me and my lawn will thank you,” he chuckled.
I looked down at the lawn and hoped I hadn’t actually worn a trench in it. “Sorry,” I said sheepishly.
“The only thing you’ll ever have to apologise for is giving her reason to give up on you, son.” Brendan’s tone was light enough, but there was the might of a fatherly warning in there.
I saluted him. “Aye, aye. You have my word.”
“Good. Now get in there and talk to my daughter.”
I started for the window.
“Go in the door, for pity’s sake, mate!” Brendan laughed exasperatedly as he headed in that direction.
“Right,” I said as I changed direction. “Yep. Will do!”
I strode in the back door behind Brendan, all full of confident purpose.
“Was it a possum?” Charley asked from the kitchen table.
“Something a little bigger,” Brendan replied.
Charley looked up and saw me standing behind her stepdad.
“Oh. Hi, hun,” Kate said warmly.
“Hey,” I said to her.
“What are you doing here?” Charley asked me.
“Someone gave me little choice about using the door.”
Charley shook her head as she stood up and looked askance at her parents as though we could have a whole conversation in front of them without them understanding. “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for cake, no doubt,” Kate said.
I spared her a smile, then looked back to Charley. “I was hoping we could talk…?”
“Oh, that sounds serious,” Kate said. “Have you two had a–?”
Brendan cleared his throat noisily. “Honey?”
Kate looked at Brendan and dawning lit her eyes. “Right. Oh. No, sure. Whatever!”
Charley rolled her eyes and stomped over to me. “We’ll be in my room,” she said, grabbing my hand and dragging me after her.
“Sure. No worries, kids!” Kate called after us.
Charley basically threw me into her room and hurriedly shut the door. “What are you doing? Showing up with no warning?”
“I always show up with no warning,” I reminded her.
She sighed. “No. I mean…” She flailed her arms. “I don’t even know what I mean.”
“I just thought we should talk.”
“Talk? Talk about what?”
“You know about what.”
She huffed, but I couldn’t tell if it was in humour or in disbelief. “Okay. Well, you obviously had a plan about this. So…tell me.”
I was confused. “Tell you what?”
“Whatever reason that has you coming over here. Break whatever needs breaking. Whatever.”
“Char, what?”
She looked at me. “I’m a big girl, dude. I can handle it.”
“I… I literally meant talk about it. Like, have a discussion. You know, a back and forth.”
Her eyes narrowed like she didn’t trust me. “To what end?”
I shrugged and shoved my hands in my pockets. “I dunno. I guess I figured we needed to talk about the–”
“Yes!” she interrupted loudly, then more quietly, “We were both there.”
I smirked. “I thought we should talk about it and what we want to do about it.”
“Do about it?” She was still suspicious, but I could tell she was open to being persuaded otherwise.
I nodded. “Yeah. Like what it means to each of us. What we want to do about it going forward. If it means anything…” I finished, not quite sure if it had actually meant anything to her any more.
Everything about her softened. “It meant something,” she said.
“It meant something to me, too.”
She smiled and looked down as though she was hiding it. “Great. Good.” She scratched the back of her head. “So… You want to talk about…?”