“All right. I give you permission to use that one.”
“Sweet.” She clicks a few more buttons. “Do you want me to fill out your bio?”
“Um, no thank you. I’ll do that myself.” I take a few minutes to write about my job and Daisy before showing Millicent.
“I wouldn’t mention Daisy up front,” she warns.
“But I have to. Otherwise, it’s false advertising!”
She rolls her eyes. “Then, at the very least, don’t call yourself a mother. That’s a huge turnoff. Write something like I share custody of a six-year-old.”
“Who am I sharing custody with?”
“It’s too complicated to say you’re a full-time working single mum, but your parents and best friend help you out with babysitting.”
“Then what should I say?”
“Nothing! That kind of conversation should be had in person once you’ve already dazzled them with your charm.”
“I don’t know. It feels kind of deceitful.”
“It’s up to you, babe. But I’m telling you, all you need to do on your profile is show them a little about who you are. They don’t need to know everything all at once.”
I go back and forth in my head, tossing up the pros and cons.
In the end, I decide Millicent might be right. And I justify my decision by thinking that at least I won’t be attracting guys who might, heaven forbid, be interested in someone with a child for the wrong reasons.
“Okay. I’m going to take your advice.”
“I think it’s the right thing to do,” she assures me. She finalises my account and then locates the guy I liked before, swiping his image into the interested group. “There. You’ve completed your first step into the world of online dating.”
“Now what?”
“Pick a few others and wait to see if they like you back.”
“What if I get multiple?”
“Then you can date all of them. Or none. It’s up to you.”
“This is so weird.”
“It’s no weirder than approaching a random stranger in a bar and hoping for the best. At least here, you get a bit of info about them beforehand.”
“I guess.”
My phone dings. I look at the screen, and my face lights up despite my earlier reservations.
“The guy with the hair likes me back!”
Millicent laughs. “See? I knew you’d understand the appeal right away. Ask him out for a drink.”
“Not a meal?”
“No. Pick somewhere not too far away, but not so close he’ll be able to follow you home. And organise it so that if you don’t like him, you can make a quick escape.”
“So, I should text you and get you to call me with a fake emergency?”
“You can be a grown-up about it if he’s not what you’re after. But if that’s too hard, just tell him you have another appointment.”
“Oh, okay.” I tentatively type a message to my match. His name is Tomas. No H. “Do you think we should meet in the morning or afternoon?”
“I guess it depends on how eager he is to catch up. Maybe Sunday at 5pm? That keeps it casual. And then if you hit it off, you can stay out and go for dinner.”
“That makes sense.” I suggest to Tomas that we meet for a drink at a place on James Street.
He replies immediately.
Sounds good. I’ll see you there.
I hold up the phone to show her. “Look!”
“See? Easy.”
“Agh! What do I wear? What do I talk about? Are you able to look after Daisy?”
“Relax! Yes, of course I’ll look after Daisy. And you have a ton of cute clothes. We’ll figure this out. Also, I have never known you to be short for conversation topics. You’ll be fine.”
“Okay.” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You’re right. I can do this.”
EIGHT
Lincoln
I can’t wait to get home and see the girls. As soon as I’m inside the door, I wrap them both up in a huge hug. “I missed you two little munchkins.”
“We missed you, too, Daddy. Can we get ice cream now?”
“Yes! Give me half an hour, and then we’ll go.”
Both girls give me an extra tight squeeze and then run off, discussing the flavours they’re going to order.
I find Rachel in the loungeroom, reading something on her phone.
“Hey!” I say, going over and giving her a kiss on the forehead. “I feel like I’ve hardly seen you lately.”
“That’s because you haven’t,” she says matter-of-factly.
I sit down beside her. “I’m sorry. I know this is all really crazy, but I’m going to try and make it work for everyone. I don’t want you to feel like you’re on your own, looking after the girls. In fact, I should have a lot more time now than when I was on the show, at least until the tour starts. And then after it finishes, I can basically dictate my own hours.”
“I guess.”
“Is that what’s bothering you? I mean, you seemed disappointed that I didn’t get an international tour. If I had, that would have been a lot worse.”
“But it would also have meant a lot more money. Right now, you’re just going to be getting a little more than you were for your local gigs, but you’ll be around less.”
“I…I’m not sure what to say. Do you want me to pull out of the tour? I can just go get a regular nine-to-five job if that would be easier.”
“And what would that make me, huh?” she snaps. “A dream killer?”
“Hey, hey, no. We’re a team here. We need to make sure you’re happy, too. Are you frustrated because you’re not working outside the house right now?”
Rachel did three days a week in retail before I went on Sing to Me, but she gave it up once I made it past the audition round. I had to be at the studio most days, and Rachel never knew what her schedule was going to be like more than a few weeks in advance. The twins go to pre-school twice a week, but they’re set days, so it used to be my responsibility to do the drop-off and pickup.
“No. I hated retail. But I guess I did like being able to contribute financially. Especially when your wage isn’t really enough for us to live on.”
“I haven’t got the figures for this upcoming tour, but it sounds like it will be more than enough to keep us going, at least for the rest of the year.”
“And then what?”
“I guess we just wait and see what happens after that. If things get quiet, I’ll pick up a few extra shifts at the café.”
She drags her hands down her face. “I just hate not having any stability.”
“We should talk about that. What do you need to feel stable?”
“Damn it. Why are you so calm and reasonable? You’re making me look like a crazy person!”
I stand up. Rachel gets in moods like this every now and again. All I can do is give her some space and then talk to her after she’s had time to articulate her thoughts. “I’m going to unpack and then I’m going to take the girls out. You’re welcome to come, too. We can finish the conversation then?”