“Maybe I should leave,” I say, starting to stand up.
It’s like he doesn’t even hear me. “I should have known. Any woman with fluoro hair is either gay or a left-wing feminist.”
Okay. That’s definitely enough.
“I’m going to go.”
I hurry out, annoyed that I didn’t get to finish my drink, and head around the corner to order an Uber to take me home.
What the actual hell? How could I have misjudged the situation so badly?
If this is what online dating is like, I am going to be single for the rest of eternity.
***
Millicent is disturbed to see me home so early.
“What happened? What did you do?”
“Why did you think it was something I did? Tomas was a freakin’ weirdo. I swear, within two seconds of us sitting down, it was like he was reading directly from a men’s rights activist manual.”
“Oh no.”
“Yes! I actually think he might require medication. There was something really wrong with the guy.”
“I’m sorry, Tash. We probably should have looked at his bio more closely. I just didn’t want to freak you out, when you were already a bit wary of the whole experience.”
She opens her phone and navigates to Tomas’s page on the dating site.
“Ah, see. I should have known. He’s written here that he likes upbeat women.”
“And that means he’s a raving misogynist?”
“Yep. It assumes that women should always be happy specifically for their partner. Other things to look out for are when a guy says he wants someone who ‘looks after themselves’ because you know that’s code for ‘if you don’t go to the gym seven days a week, don’t even think about coming near me.’ Or if their pic shows them on a large motorcycle, you know they’re overcompensating for something.”
“I’m not going out with anyone else from online.”
“But you have to! Don’t let one bad guy mess up your chance for happiness.”
“What if I tried something else? Maybe I could find someone in one of those meet-up groups instead. You know, the kind where they all go hiking or surfing?”
“Do you know who goes to meet-up groups? People over sixty. Come on, Tash. Give online dating another try.”
“I’ll have to think about it. But right now, I just want to get into my PJs and watch old reruns of How I Met Your Mother. At least that show never lets me down.”
Millicent sighs. “Okay. Sorry, hon. I really just want you to be happy.”
“I know. And I appreciate you helping me. But I think meeting someone is something I have to do on my own. On my terms.”
“You want me to stay tonight?”
“It’s up to you. If Ryder is already settled, then you might as well.”
“I’ve got the kids set up in Daisy’s room with the iPad. They’re watching Hotel Transylvania.”
“Maybe just leave them, then. You feel like laughing at some of Barney’s antics with me?”
“Yeah, why not. My love life isn’t exactly happening right now either.”
“Have you met many guys online?”
“That’s the only way I meet them. But it does seem to be getting harder and harder to find the nice ones. There’s so much ghosting and…what’s that other thing they do? Zombie-ing? You know, where they totally ignore you, but then three months later they suddenly start liking your social media posts? I don’t get that at all. Oh, and then there’s catfishing. Thank God I’ve never had to deal with that…”
“And you thought I would benefit from entering this world?” I ask incredulously.
“It’s worth it in the long run. If you look up the stats, at least a third of people online are looking for serious relationships. And like, ten percent of people end up getting married.”
“Is that ten percent of the third or the total?”
“I don’t know. Does it matter?”
“It would probably be a big difference in figures.”
“Either way, there are good guys out there. You just have to kiss a few frogs first.”
I’m starting to wonder if that’s true. Is there really another guy out there for me? Or are all the eligible ones already taken?
But then, Ted on How I Met Your Mother took forever to find his match. Maybe I’ll just have to wait a bit longer. Although, I hope I don’t have to take as many detours as he did to end up with ‘the one.’
Love might be a bit more trouble than it’s worth.
TEN
Lincoln
Playing music with the guys is one of the best things in my life. And while live performances are the ultimate, I can relax and enjoy myself a lot more with rehearsals. We’re currently practicing a bunch of songs in Beau’s garage. He’s the band’s drummer and lives just outside the city on acreage, so we don’t have to worry about disturbing the neighbours.
It’s Saturday, and exactly nine weeks until we start the tour. I’m looking forward to getting out of South-East Queensland to play in the other states, and also performing at some bigger venues. Normally, we play pubs and small clubs, but this time we’ll be doing actual concert halls.
Things have calmed down at home over the last couple of months. Rachel hasn’t mentioned feeling left out or ignored—and she seems happy enough, so I’m quietly optimistic that she feels our lives are headed in a positive direction. Occasionally, I’ve tried to prompt her about whether she wants to enrol in a course or fill out any job applications, but she hasn’t seemed particularly interested. Maybe she’s realised that the money I’m going to be earning for the tour is enough for us after all.
I start playing a few chords on my guitar, ones that go with the song I sang for Felix and Natasha that night in Sydney. They probably don’t realise, but their positive reaction has inspired me to get more serious about my songwriting.
Jesse, the lead guitarist, joins in, and then Andy, the bassist, takes his cue. Finally, Beau starts tapping out a beat. And it works. I quietly sing the lyrics so the guys can hear what I initially intended for the song.
Afterwards, they all look at me, surprised. “Where did that come from?” Beau asks.
“I wrote it a while back, but I didn’t want to push my stuff on you in case you didn’t like it.”
“Dude! We’ve been dropping hints to do originals for years! We always thought you wanted to stick with covers because they were easy.”
“I guess that’s true in a way. But I’ve kind of realised lately that I need to take more risks.” I think back to my conversation with Natasha about how she pursued her dream—and at the time, I made excuses for why I couldn’t pursue mine. But it was bullshit. I was just scared. Going on Sing to Me helped me remember I have talent, but that night in Sydney confirmed I should be following my dreams more fully.
“Then let’s do something with it. Talk to Max and see if he’ll let us test out a couple of tunes on the tour. And obviously reassure him we’ll still do the fan favourites.”
“Okay. I will. And of course, if any of you have songs you want to try, let me know.”