Tessa
* * *
“Sorry it took so long,” I say when I finally make my way back to our spot on the mostly empty beach and find Paul sitting alone on one of the blankets while Verek is still out on his walk. “When I came out of the bathroom, I had to hit up the lemonade stand. Do you want some?”
“No, thanks,” he says with a sigh. When I’m finally standing in front of him, I realize he’s holding the ice cubes from the cooler on his knuckles.
“Oh my god! What happened?” I ask in concern before a sudden thought dawns on me. “Oh no. Did you hit Verek?” No, that’s a stupid question. Paul wouldn’t hit anyone. He’s the least violent man I know.
“I may have sucker punched him once,” Paul explains with a wince. “I think his face hurt my hand more than my hand hurt his face.”
He seriously punched Verek?
“That’s…you shouldn’t have done that!” I shout at him.
“Hell, I know that,” he mutters as he stands up. “I just hate realizing that I’ve lost you for good. I thought maybe there was still a chance for us, but there’s not, is there?”
Taking a deep breath, I finally tell him the truth. “No. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry about that night when I changed my mind, and then for not being able to face you afterward for so long. I was selfish.”
“You did what you needed to do after a horrible tragedy. That’s not selfish,” he says. “You’re in love with Verek. I get it. But he has doubts. He said he would leave because he doesn’t think he can love you like you deserve. What if he can’t?”
“What? But he can. He does love me,” I whisper softly. “I slept with him last night. I’m not telling you that to hurt you. It’s just that, I think I was supposed to be with him all along because it felt so…right. I turned him down that first night we met, and I’ve regretted it for so long. The only reason I didn’t sleep with him while we were still engaged was because I didn’t want to hurt you. I guess…that was bound to happen anyway. I’m so sorry.”
“That’s…well, it’s not what I wanted to hear, but I’m glad to finally have some closure. I was hoping to leave here this week with you and if not, to finally let you go. I haven’t exactly been totally honest with you these past few days either…”
“You haven’t?” I say in surprise.
“While we were apart, I saw other women.”
He doesn’t have to elaborate. He slept with other people.
“Huh,” I mutter, not exactly shocked, just surprised that Verek, the biggest playboy in the South, was celibate during our hiatus, but my former fiancé was not.
“Also, I should probably confess that the reason I called or texted you every day was because Charlotte told me you needed to hear from me. I’m pretty sure she was wrong since you hardly ever answered.”
“You’re right. She was wrong,” I say, knowing now more than ever that I’ve made the right decision. Going up on my toes, I kiss his cheek and quickly step away. “Goodbye, Paul.”
“Goodbye, Tessa. I wish you the best.”
“Me too,” I tell him truthfully.
Grabbing his shoes, Paul trudges up the dunes to the wooden walkway. Once he’s gone, I plop down on the beach towel, swiping the few tears from my cheek and try to call Verek. It goes right to his voicemail.
I wait for him to get back from his walk for what feels like forever, until the sun starts to set. Verek doesn’t come back or call. Lucas and Jake ask at least a dozen times if I want to head home, but each time I tell them just a few more minutes.
When my phone finally does ring, it’s Charlotte.
I’ve been avoiding her calls, texting her when she checked in each day because I didn’t want to cause any friction between her and Roman on their honeymoon. When she tells me that they’re home early, I pack up our beach picnic to head over.
Chapter Thirty-One
Tessa
* * *
“Why would you set Paul up for me to break his heart like that?” I yell at Charlotte as soon as she opens the door.
“Nice to see you too,” she remarks sarcastically, looking tan and happy.
“Why? Why did you do that to him? To me?” I ask. “Did you know he slept with other women? I know you’re the reason he called every day without fail too.”
“So what? He just needed a little push. You both needed to see if you could work things out and if not, finally move on with your lives. Did it work? You haven’t said much in your texts, and the prospects don’t know what the hell is going on.”
“How can I move on with my life when your husband sent Verek away for months?”
“Roman didn’t send Verek away,” Charlotte says. “Verek left on his own. Right, Roman?” she asks him over her shoulder.
“Something like that,” he remarks with a shrug of one meaty shoulder.
“Roman may not have escorted him out of the city limits, but he took his cut and told him to leave and not contact me!”
“Roman? Seriously?” Charlotte turns to ask her husband, crossing her arms angrily over her chest. “You said he left because he wanted to and that blowing off women was just his MO!”
“He disobeyed my orders, putting Tessa and the entire club in jeopardy!” Roman shouts back. “And you and I both agreed that Tessa was better off with Paul.”
“Guess what!” I yell at them. “It’s Tessa’s decision who she thinks she’ll be better off with!”
Charlotte turns back to me and drops her arms. “Sweetie, I’m so happy you’ve found your backbone again. But when you first got out of the facility, you couldn’t even decide what you wanted for breakfast. Remember?”
“I…that…food is one thing! Deciding my love life for me is something totally different. You both crossed a line!”
“Verek’s the reason you left the club that night!” Roman comes over and chimes in. “Why would you ever want to be with him after what you went through because he can’t keep his dick in his pants?”
“What?” I gasp in disbelief. “Is that really what you think of him?”
“Yes!”
“You’re wrong,” I tell him. “I’m the reason I left the club alone that night. I went out to call Paul because after ten minutes with Verek, I knew Paul wasn’t the one for me. He didn’t…excite me. Paul didn’t make my heart race. The crazy thing is that I think Verek may love me even though he’s not sure how to express it. I’m broken and may never be fixed, and still he’s been sweet and patient, understanding and supportive. And even if he doesn’t know how to love me yet, I love him.”
“Fuck,” Roman mutters.
“Fuck is right! Verek doesn’t think he deserves to be with me or that he’s capable of loving me. I wonder where he got that from?” I snap at him. “He’s spent the last few days bringing me out of my shell, showing me I’m still capable of being intimate with a man, all the while thinking he’s not capable of ever loving me the way Paul did!”