“No, this is better,” Tessa says. “It’ll give me time to ease into everything.”
“That’s what I was hoping too,” I agree. By “everything” I know she means to get a handle on her demons, the nightmares that happened right after she was dancing here with me.
Pushing those depressing thoughts aside, I sit down behind the wooden desk to dig into the records Cannon and Conrad have been keeping while Tessa wanders around the small room, fidgeting with her hands like she’s nervous and not sure what to do with herself.
“You can sit down if you want. Over there across from me or on my lap. I bet you know my preference.”
“Okay,” she says in what sounds like relief before she comes around the desk and takes a seat on one of my knees. I wrap my arm around her waist with my left hand while using my right to flip pages in the ledger.
Once I’ve done a quick run-through of the books, I pick up the phone on my desk and buzz Damon, our head bartender, to come to my office.
“Yeah, boss?” Damon asks when he busts into my office, opening the door without knocking first. His eyes widen when he sees Tessa on my lap. She starts to stand, but I keep my arm around her. “You’re fine,” I tell her, placing a kiss on her cheek. “You too,” I say to Damon. “Catch me up in ten minutes or less on what’s happened these last six months that I need to know about.”
“Oh, well…” He scratches his dirty-blond hair in thought, and then he’s off, taking us back to around June when I first left, and there were some issues with waitress schedules that took a few days to resolve and a few other minor problems leading up until this week. Nothing that Cannon and Conrad didn’t handle and nothing that put us in jeopardy of losing our liquor license, which was my biggest concern.
“Thanks, Damon,” I tell him. “I may be leaving soon, but I’ll be back tomorrow night.”
“Yes, sir,” the bartender says before he slips out of the office, shutting the door behind him.
“So far, so good,” I tell Tessa.
“Are you disappointed they didn’t miss you?” she teases.
“No, I’m glad they didn’t. If this place got shut down because of my absence, Roman would’ve tracked me down and probably murdered me in my sleep,” I joke. The club is one of the MC’s biggest moneymakers. The rental properties have a lot of upkeep, taxes, and insurance expenses, the Harley dealership has to spend a ton of money in advance to keep great inventory in stock, while the club is mostly pure profit since we own the building.
“Are you ready to head out to the main floor, maybe dance with me a few songs before we leave?”
“Sure,” she agrees when she climbs off my lap.
When I take her hand, it’s shaking slightly as we make our way to the dance floor that’s about a quarter full compared to the last time Tessa was here in the spring. The two prospects are the only guys sitting at the bar not drinking. Instead, they’re both just staring over at us, so I flip them off in greeting.
“This good?” I ask when I stop in the middle of the floor to pull Tessa close, my fingers circling her hips.
“Yeah, this is good,” she says, resting her hands on my shoulder and upper arm. It’s not a slow song, but that doesn’t matter to us. When Tessa rests her face against my chest, I wrap my arms around her a little tighter.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask after a few more songs come and go, while she doesn’t budge.
I assume it’s the kidnappers or how they hurt her, so I’m surprised when she lifts her face to mine and says, “Sometimes, I think that if I had gone home with you that night, you would’ve forgotten my name before the sun came up. That you’re only drawn to me out of guilt.”
“Sweetheart, I could never forget you,” I assure her while pushing a lock of her beautiful red hair behind her shoulder. “And yes, I feel guilty about that night, and I always will. I won’t ever stop trying to make it up to you.”
“We had just met and were complete strangers. You didn’t owe me anything.”
“I beg to differ,” I reply.
“And I was engaged. I told you I was leaving to call my fiancé, the man I was supposed to marry in two weeks. So when you took someone else home, you didn’t do anything wrong, Verek.”
“I wish you had come home with me,” I tell her truthfully. “But then I know that would’ve ruined everything for you too. So I can’t help but think I should’ve turned you down when you asked me to dance. If I had refused, you would’ve gone on with your life as planned, gotten married, maybe be working on having a kid by now with Paul.”
“If you had turned me down, I may have gotten married, but I don’t think I would’ve been happy. The way I see it, you did me a favor.”
“A favor?” I repeat with a scoff. “Sweetheart, please. I came on way too strong, even after I knew you were engaged. Everything that happened, it was my fault. I just wish there was some way to make it up to you.”
“You really want to make it up to me?” she asks.
“More than anything,” I tell her, knowing I’m asking the impossible.
“Then take me home with you tonight, to your place,” Tessa says, making my entire body, heart, and soul freeze right there in the middle of the dance floor.
“What?” I ask in shock.
“Take me home. I want us to finally do what I wanted that night, before I walked out.”
“Are you sure, sweetheart? We don’t have to rush…” I start to say before Tessa presses her fingertips to my lips.
“We’re not rushing. We’ve waited eight months for this moment. I’m ready, Verek. Please?”
It’s the “please” that does me in. She could ask me for anything, and I would gladly give it to her. And this particular request? Hell, she’s right. I’ve wanted her for eight long, torturous months, more than anything.
Tessa
* * *
Being back in the club with Verek was easier than I expected. It’s really been cathartic because the memories it brings back are the ones of dancing with him after we first met, and fortunately nothing else. Which is why I want to take that last step with Verek, finally. He’s been so patient, and I know he would keep waiting, no matter how much longer I asked him to wait. But I don’t want to wait any longer.
“Verek?” I say when he doesn’t respond.
His response is wordless. He hugs me so tightly that my feet lift momentarily off the floor, making me laugh before he puts me down. Then, he takes my hand to lead me downstairs. He’s as excited as I am. Or at least I was excited before it hits me how much pressure is on this moment. It’ll be our first time. What if it’s awful?
No, that’s impossible. Just kissing Verek is off-the-charts hotter than Hades.
But what if it’s not good for him? His record of conquests is a mile long while mine is so short. What if he’s been waiting and waiting, and then when it’s over, he doesn’t want to touch me again because he’s disappointed?
I’ve always thought I only kept Verek’s interest for this long because I didn’t sleep with him. After I do, what happens then? Will things stay the same between us, or will he finally move on?