When Verek starts over to me, looking a little out of sorts, I throw my arms around his neck and hang on tight, not caring if he has the blood of my abuser on him. For a second, I feel his palm touch my hip before he drops it. I know he didn’t do it because he doesn’t want his hands on me but because he’s not sure if I’m ready for his touch. And I’m not sure either. But this, holding him, feeling the strength of his hard body against mine, is all I need right now.
“We’ll give you two a minute,” Cannon says.
I’m not sure if the two men are still there or not when I grab either side of Verek’s face and pull it down to place my lips on his, kissing him softly over and over again, which he returns with the exact amount of force. It’s not enough, though. I want more of him. All of him. As soon as I swipe my tongue over the crease of his lips, he opens for me.
God his mouth! Nothing has ever been so sweet and salacious at the same time. He may be holding himself back from putting his hands on me, but he shows no restraint with his tongue or lips. My palms slide down his neck to caress his bare chest, down to his etched stomach and back up again, unable to get enough.
It’s not fair to him, how lopsided things are between us. I know that, but that doesn’t mean I can rush things before I’m certain that I’m ready. Verek understands this, I’m sure, so he lets me indulge myself.
We stand there with me on my toes, our mouths locked for so long it could be morning for all I care when we finally do separate.
“I don’t want you to leave,” I whisper.
“It won’t be forever,” he promises, covering my hand on his chest with his and giving it a squeeze.
“I wish I was strong enough to go with you.”
“You are strong,” he says. “You still have a whole lot to deal with. For now, I think you need Charlotte more than you need me.”
I nod my agreement, even though I hate that it’s the truth.
Verek
* * *
I’m not ready to leave, but if I don’t stop myself now, I’ll cave and try to stay with Tessa, even though that’s impossible. Roman will never let me near her, not until he has time to calm down. Which is why I know it’s time to face the music and begin the waiting period.
“Come on, sweetheart. We better get going.”
“Okay,” she agrees reluctantly.
Outside the boathouse, Cannon and Conrad are standing beside their bikes. While Tessa gets comfortable on mine again, I go over and tell them, “I appreciate you both helping me.”
“You’ll owe us one,” Cannon says as I share a quick embrace with him and Conrad both since it could be a while before I see either of them again.
“Take care of yourself,” they say at the same time in that eerie twin way.
“You too,” I reply before I head to my bike and get my helmet on. I don’t ask Tessa if she’s ready again, afraid she’ll say no, and then I’ll do something insane, like try to take her back to my place tonight.
I just climb on and then drive us over to Roman’s house.
When we stop, I let Tessa climb off first, keeping my helmet on since I won’t be staying long.
She hands her helmet to me after I pull her purse out of the saddlebag.
“Thanks,” she says. “For everything.”
“Anytime,” I reply, meaning it. I would kill anyone and do anything for her.
The lights flip on inside the house right before the door opens.
“You should probably go on inside. I’m sure they’re worried.”
“Yeah. Okay,” Tessa replies with a nod. “Bye, Verek.”
“Bye, sweetheart,” I say just as Roman comes charging out of the side door.
“Uh-oh,” Tessa mutters.
“Go on inside. It’ll be fine,” I assure her, so she hurries up the steps to the deck.
“Are you okay?” I hear Roman ask her when they meet halfway down.
“Yes, of course,” she tells him. “Don’t give Verek a hard time. I was the one who convinced him to go after those men.”
“He disobeyed a direct order,” Roman grits out. “So he and I need to have a fucking talk,” he grumbles before he jogs the rest of the way down the stairs.
By talk, I can only assume he means fight. If I hit him, I’m fucked. If I don’t, I’m probably also fucked.
The door opens again before Tessa gets to it. Charlotte comes out, yelling, “Roman, calm down!”
“Both of you get inside now!” he shouts, pointing his finger toward the house while I pull my cut out of the saddlebag and sling it over my arm.
“Don’t you even think about coming in my house,” he warns as he stomps toward me in the driveway.
“I wasn’t,” I assure him while still standing by my bike. “I just wanted to make sure Tessa got in okay.”
“So now you’re fucking worried about her?” he says as he comes barreling into me. Both of his palms slam into my chest, shoving me back a few feet.
“I’m always worried about her.”
“Then why the fuck did you make her an accomplice to murder?” he grumbles quietly before his right fist comes flying toward my chin, the only part of my face not covered by the helmet.
I expected the hit and stay on my feet, my knees only buckling for a second, but damn it still hurt like a motherfucker.
Roman jerks my leather cut from my arm and says, “You’re suspended from the club indefinitely. We’ll vote on whether or not you ever wear this again tomorrow. If you come near Tessa again without my permission, I’ll end you. Do you hear me?”
“Isn’t that her decision?” I ask him. “You’re not her president or her father.”
“I’m trying to protect her!” he shouts at me.
“I am too!” I exclaim. “All I want to do is keep her safe!”
“Keep her safe?” Roman scoffs. “Too little, too fucking late! The time for you to keep her safe was the night everything happened to her. It was your fucking fault she was taken by those assholes in the first place!”
“My fault?” I repeat. “What are you talking about?”
“I saw the videos from the club when we were searching for her, and I called you that night, remember?” he says slowly, deliberately, leading up to his point. “Tessa deserves better than the man who was inside someone else while she was getting gang raped!”
And there it is.
Finally, someone has voiced aloud the guilt that I’ve carried with me for months now. No wonder Roman didn’t want her around me. He blames me for the kidnapping. And he’s right, it is my fault that she left the club alone. She ran away from me and right into those fuckers.
“I’ll pack up and leave town tonight,” I assure him, knowing it’s best for the club and probably best for Tessa too. She thinks I’m a hero, a knight in shining armor coming to her rescue, when really, I’m the villain in this story – the stupid son of a bitch who hit on her when she was engaged and about to marry another man. It was the lowest of the low, something my father would do, and I hate myself for it.
“Good. It’s about fucking time you do the right thing.” Roman shouts. “Don’t even think about calling or texting her either! I’ll know if you do, and you’ll pay for it.”