1
Rip
Of course she would be here to witness my rock bottom.
The girl was a pesky fly, and my life was the shit show she was drawn to. No, I take that back, she was more than just an irritation. She was a biting fly, the kind that would buzz around your head repeatedly and then attack, causing pain before flitting off to some other poor soul like she hadn’t just ruined your day. She’d been like that almost my entire life, so I shouldn’t have been surprised she was standing right there, witnessing my darkest moment.
Hazel Redding.
Once my friend. Now enemy number one.
“I hate to break it to you like this, but I think we both know this has been coming for a while now. You understand?” Titus ran a hand through his blond hair, reminding me of some ’80s rock band guy with the way it was growing out all feathered and fluffy with an amazing amount of body. He could have been in a shampoo commercial with height and dimension like that.
And no, I didn’t understand. For a guy who only ate donuts and coffee for breakfast and lunch, you’d think he wouldn’t have the nutritional profile to grow hair like that. Didn’t a human body actually need protein and vitamins and shit to grow hair and muscle?
“Rip?” Titus leaned down into my face, making me blink.
Jesus. I needed to focus.
“I know you’ve been pretty down lately, so I’ve put this off as long as I could. The B and B opening is next weekend and I really need to be there to get everything ready for opening day. You understand, right?”
I nodded, though I still didn’t understand. My best friend, the guy I’d known since high school, was moving out of the house we shared and moving in with his girlfriend, Amelia. Made logical sense, I guess. And I’d been expecting it. Kind of. Like one expects some day to grow old and have their back give out when they stand up out of bed, but you just think it’ll be one day way into the future. Until you stand up and your back pops and you’re on your knees in pain, wondering how the hell “someday” got here so quick. Titus moving out was kind of like that. Expected, but not.
“I’ve been trying to find you a roommate, but I’m coming up empty. I’ll still pay the rent for the next three months until the lease is up, so don’t worry about that.” Titus smiled and put a meaty hand on my shoulder.
Of course he couldn’t find me a roommate. I wasn’t exactly what you’d call a friendly guy. I dared a glance out of the side of my eye to see where Hazel currently buzzed. She had a huge cardboard box in her hands, lugging it out the door to Titus’s waiting truck while her long dark ponytail swung from side to side. Amelia followed right behind her with an end table from Titus’s bedroom.
In the back of my brain, I knew we should be helping. Wasn’t fair to leave the heavy lifting to the girls, even if one of them was the most annoying girl on earth, but all I could think about was the fact I was the last man standing. The last guy in our group of friends who hadn’t gotten engaged, married, or attached at the hip to a woman. I was the lone wolf. Without a roommate. Without a pack. Without a fucking clue what I was doing with my life.
It had only been a few months ago that I’d told Titus I needed a push to get my life going. This empty gaping hole in my chest at the departure of the last person in my life who cared about me sure seemed like the push I’d said I wanted. Hell of a lot more painful than I’d planned on, though. Rubbing my chest, I tried to sort through the conflicting thoughts running through my brain, competing for space.
“Yeah, sure,” I managed to say, my voice croaking worse than a bullfrog in summer.
Wow, real eloquent, Bennett.
Titus’s eyebrows furrowed and I realized my lackluster response was making him feel guilty for leaving me. Feel guilty for being happy with his girlfriend. What a shit friend I’d become for making him feel bad when he should be ecstatic at this life change. I had to do better.
“Seriously, buddy. I’m happy for you two. I’ve been meaning to shake things up anyway, so this just moves up my timeline.” I tried a smile on for size, and based on the way Titus’s frown didn’t break even for a second, I wasn’t very convincing.
“Hey, beefcakes! How about y’all lift some heavy stuff, huh?” Hazel’s chipper voice rang out in the almost empty living room, her animated wink telling us she was joking around. I grimaced back at her.
Needing to avoid looking at her pretty face at all costs, I glanced around the room and tried to forget about her. Who would have thought most of the furniture in here was actually Titus’s? I had a bed, a fridge, one recliner, and an ancient truck outside. Shit. I didn’t even have a TV. That was the long and short list of my possessions at the ripe old age of twenty-nine.
“Huh. I always thought I’d have my life together by now,” I murmured to no one in particular.
Good thing, because no one was listening. Hazel bent down to lift another box, her nose scrunched up in concentration. Titus had left my side to grab Amelia’s ass while she squealed and ran away, tossing curses over her shoulder. This moment was eerily similar to my entire life. If Hazel was the pesky biting fly, I was the wallpaper. Forever condemned to watch everyone else have a life while I remained ignored and useless.
Fuck. Me.
“Leave a message and I’ll consider getting back to you. Beep.”
Bain’s voicemail message was as friendly as you’d expect from a prison warden.
“Hey, man. It’s Rip. Just calling to see how things are. Call me later.”
I hung up and stared at my phone like it might have the answers I was searching for. I’d left messages for Charlie, Jayden, and now Bain. Not one of them had answered or called back. My left eyelid started to twitch again. I jammed the palm of my hand against my eye socket and paced my empty living room. Titus had finished moving out hours ago and I was still here trying to figure out what to do with my life. If I sniffed just right, I could still smell Hazel’s perfume wafting in the air. It was sickly sweet and fucking irritating. Why’d she have to put so much on? Why’d she have to be the one to help Amelia and Titus today? Literally anyone else would have been better.
My pacing led me to the fridge where I contemplated the leftover six-pack of beer we’d cracked at the end of moving Titus out. Drinking alone didn’t really sound all that healthy, though. If I started that, I’d probably never come back out of the pit of despair and self-loathing I found myself rapidly sliding into.
I had an itch just below my skin and I couldn’t get to it. It was driving me insane.
Tipping my head back to the worn-out ceiling, I yelped like some sort of injured animal. Yep. I yelled nothing at no one all by myself in my house. I was officially losing my mind.
Fuck this shit.
I spun, grabbed my keys, and hightailed it out to my tank of a truck. I needed a change of scenery. A lungful of fresh air. A glance at the full moon. Maybe some communing with nature would spark something to life inside my bored, restless soul.
Driving without seeing where you’re going probably wasn’t my best idea, but I found myself parking just behind the Hill Hotel in the downtown area. The place had started to look a little shabby around the edges lately. Probably because Amelia didn’t work there anymore and she’d singlehandedly run that place for years while the owner sat back and enjoyed his steady income. But it wasn’t the hotel I was interested in. It was the plot of land directly behind it.