But she couldn’t unsee it.
“You can’t lock the door,” he told her.
“Okay, I won’t lock the door.”
Her instant agreement seemed to ease something in him. His face relaxed. “Why did you lock it?”
“Sorry, I’m used to locking doors . . . with William . . .”
He winced. “Did I scare you? Fuck. Did I hurt you? I didn’t, did I?” He looked at where he’d grabbed her arms, guilt flooding his face.
“I’m fine. Wolfe, look at me. I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me. You couldn’t.”
He ran his hand over his face. “I’m sorry. Shit. I’ll go. I’ll leave you.”
Leave her? No!
“Wolfe, no, don’t leave! Please. Stay. Tell me why I can’t lock the door. Please.”
She thought he wasn’t going to listen, but he stopped at the doorway. Then he slid the door shut until it was open just a crack. When he turned, she moved towards the bed and sat.
“Didn’t I tell you not to walk around?” he grumbled.
“I know,” she said quietly. She glanced down at the floor, noticing a T-shirt, blanket, and small bag. She rubbed at her temples, feeling the tension growing.
“You’re stressed,” he said suddenly. “You need to relax. I’ll get your heat pad for your neck.”
“No, Wolfe, please can you stop taking care of me for a minute.”
He frowned. “What? You don’t want me to look after you?”
“No, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. Shit. What I mean is . . . please tell me what’s going on. Why don’t you like there being a locked door between us?”
“Well, I imagine it has something to do with the fact that one of my aunts used to lock me in a closet when I annoyed her,” he said matter-of-factly. “But then again, I’m not a therapist. I’ve been to one, though. My aunt Clara took me to see one when I stopped talking for weeks. She thought I had abandonment issues. I only went to her once, though. I guess my uncle’s health insurance didn’t cover any more sessions. The irony is, it wasn’t that much longer before Aunt Clara abandoned me. Oh, but she’s not the one that locked me in the closet.”
She just stared at him. Her heart raced. “What? Your aunt did what?”
He sighed. Then he walked over and sat next to her on the bed.
“My parents died in a car accident when I was seven. I went to live with my uncle Max. My dad’s brother. He was abusive. Used to knock me around when I was too loud, when I was too quiet. When I spoke or when I didn’t. Honestly, he was just looking for excuses to beat me.”
“Oh, Wolfe.” She wanted to hug him. But she wasn’t sure he’d like that. “I’m so sorry. How long did you live with him?”
Please don’t let it be long.
“Two and a half years. A new neighbor had moved in. Probably a nice woman although I never spoke to her. I’d been taught not to speak up unless he said I could. One day, he made a mistake and hit me in the face and the neighbor called the police. I never saw him again. Aleki looked into him later for me. He went to jail, got lung cancer, and died.”
He said it so matter-of-factly, but she knew he was hiding his emotions deep.
“Then what happened?”
“I went to my mother’s sister. Aunt Clara sort of tried but her husband didn’t want a kid around. And a strange, silent kid with issues was too much for him. I’m not even sure that Aunt Clara told Aunt Janice what the therapist said. That’s where I went next. They weren’t related. Janice was my father’s sister.”
“So your Aunt Clara just gave up on you? How long did you stay there for?”
“Just over a year.”
That was all she’d given him? Anger filled her. Why had any of them allowed him to go to his abusive uncle?
“I think Aunt Janice only took me in because she felt guilty over what my uncle had done. She was the one who locked me in the closet when I annoyed her. She never hit me or anything, but she didn’t like children. I lasted around three years there. Then there was Uncle Harry. He already had too many kids. One more was one too much. After that I went to Aunt Rhonda’s. She was actually the best one. She mostly ignored me.”
She didn’t know how much more she could take. All of these people had failed him. Had none of them put aside their own problems to help him?
“I can’t blame them for giving up on me. I wasn’t easy. I was quiet. Reclusive. I didn’t act how they expected me to act. I got into several fights at school.”
“You did?” she looked at him in shock. He didn’t seem the type to fight.
“Bullies thought I was an easy target. I was small and odd. I hadn’t really filled out. But I was scrappy. My uncle taught me to take a punch. However, if there was more than one of them, I was doomed. I was up against a group of boys, all bigger than me, the day I met Aleki.”
“Wait, you met Aleki in high school?”
“Yep. Sophomore year.”
“Oh, I can’t believe I didn’t know that. I thought you’d all met in college.”
“That’s where we met Caleb. But yeah, Aleki came barreling up and joined in the fray. Things were evened out then.”
“Yeah? How many were on you?”
“Five.”
So two on five? Sounded really even. Not.
“For some reason, try as I might to stay away from him, he kept turning up. He was always talking. Wouldn’t shut up. One day I asked him why he kept hanging out with me. He told me it was because I was a good listener.” Wolfe rolled his eyes. “In his family, everyone talked and no one listened. He liked that I was quiet.”
She had to grin. Likely Aleki also realized that Wolfe could use a friend.
“Haven’t been able to get rid of him since.”
“Wolfe, I’m so sorry that your family treated you like that.” Tears raced down her cheeks.
“Are these for me?” he asked in fascination, wiping away the tears. As though he’d never imagined someone might cry over him.
“They’re for the little boy who was abused and thought he was unwanted. I’d love to be able to go back and teach your family a lesson.” Her hands boxed into fists.
“So ferocious. And protective.”
She did feel protective of him. Now more than ever.
“No locked doors,” he said quietly.
“No locked doors,” she promised. “Is this why you have problems with touching people?”
“I don’t have problems with touching people. Casual touch is fine. It’s the emotion behind the touch that’s the issue. I struggle with intimacy. Affection. Comfort. Caring. Trust is a big part of that. The more I trust someone, the easier touch becomes. But I find it very hard to trust.”
She got it.
“Once I found Aleki and Caleb, I made my own family. But those years,” he sighed, “they broke something inside me. Now, I find it hard to relate to other people. To express myself. To let myself feel.” He grimaced. “It’s easier with Caleb and Aleki. They don’t expect me to give them comfort or intimacy. I thought that sharing a woman with them would make it easier. They could give her what she needed emotionally and I would just be . . . a third dick.”