He frowned. “What did I tell you about walking around?” He picked her up and set her down on the armchair in the corner before crouching to inspect her foot. He muttered over some slight swelling.
And he was back. She dropped her head to hide a smile. At least he’d opened up a little. It was more than she’d ever had from him. Or really expected him to give her.
“I’m fine, Wolfe.”
“You’d say you were fine even if you were half dead.”
Her gaze shot up, shocked he’d gathered that. It was true. She was used to deflecting. To pretending everything was all right. Sometimes she wasn’t even sure what was a lie and what was the truth.
“I wish you’d just tell the truth.”
She winced. “I’m sorry. I’ll try. It’s just habit, saying that I’m all right.”
“It’s okay not to be.”
“What?”
“It’s okay not to be all right. You can tell us how you really feel. We won’t punish you for not being all right.”
“That was very . . . I mean, when did you become so . . . so . . .”
“That’s what your father did, right? Caleb told us he wanted you to be perfect all the time.”
She cleared her throat. “Yeah. I wasn’t ever to voice what I really thought or how I really felt. I was a puppet for what he and William wanted me to say or do. Sometimes I’m not sure who the real me is anymore.”
He nodded. “I understand.”
“You do?”
“Yes, I’ve often had to try and act a certain way not to make people uncomfortable. I know I’m different. That I don’t react the right way or feel the right things. I’ve had to teach myself to pretend.”
She reached out and lightly touched his shoulder. He stiffened slightly but didn’t pull away. “You don’t have to pretend with me. And who cares what other people think is right? If it’s the way you feel then it’s right for you.”
He stared at her, studying her. Then he gave a sharp nod. “And if you feel a certain way then you should tell us. Not hide it. Or try to do what you think we want.”
She had to smile. “So does that mean I no longer have to eat what’s on that list or take those horrible vitamins?”
He frowned. “No, that’s health and safety. You have to do those things. But you don’t have to pretend to like them.”
She had to laugh. His eyes warmed. “I like hearing you laugh.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re not angry with me anymore.” She didn’t like him being upset with her.
He studied her then let out a breath. “I told myself that I hated you. I think I actually did.”
She drew in a sharp breath. Damn. That hurt.
“The way I felt about you, it was intense. It was all-consuming. It was too much for me to process. So I told myself to hate you. That was simpler.”
“Wolfe. . .oh God.” She felt ill.
“At a young age, I learned to harden myself to feelings. To shut them down. If I didn’t feel anything, I couldn’t be hurt. If I couldn’t be hurt then nothing mattered. Not until you. You mattered. That’s why I couldn’t shut down when it came to you. So I hated you instead.”
“I don’t want you to hate me.”
“I don’t. Not anymore. I tried to be indifferent to you, to feel nothing. That didn’t work. I finally figured that out in the hospital. That I still felt something for you. Something strong.”
Like love? Had his hate flipped to love? It sounded crazy. But she got what he was saying. If he didn’t care, he’d have been indifferent.
“I’ve always cared about you too. I missed you so much.” She wiped a tear off her face.
“You know I have issues.” He grimaced. “I find it difficult to trust people. I have less than a handful of people who I consider family. Arianna, Caleb’s friend. Caleb. Aleki. And now you.”
“Wolfe,” she whispered.
“You’re my family, Vivi. You’re the most important one of all. There has only ever been you for me. Just you.”
“You’re my family too.”
The family you were born with could suck. But the family you made for yourself? They could be all you needed and more.
He grabbed the bag and set it on the bedside table. Then he drew the blanket off the bed and put the weighted blanket down in its place.
“Did you enjoy your time with Caleb today? In the playroom?” he suddenly asked.
“Yes. I liked spending time with him. I like spending time with all of you.”
She didn’t want one of them feeling slighted.
“I know,” he said arrogantly.
She had to resist rolling her eyes.
“I watched you, in the playroom.”
“I know.”
“No, I mean I watched you when you weren’t looking at me. You were completely relaxed. More than I’ve ever seen you since we found you in that alleyway. You were enjoying yourself.”
“I wasn’t worrying or stressing. I had fun. I can’t remember the last time I had fun. That’s sad, huh?”
“I’m not good at having fun. Maybe we could learn together.”
She sucked in a breath. She knew how much they could both use some fun. She also knew how hard it was for Wolfe to offer this.
“I’d love that. Should I . . . what would I call you?”
“Wolfe.”
She had to grin. “Not Daddy?”
“That’s Caleb.”
She got it. But maybe she could come up with a name for him. Hmm.
He turned to the bed. Picking up the bag, he set it on the floor next to the bed. Then he spread out the blanket.
“Can I help?”
“No.”
She shook her head but didn’t take offense. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Wolfe would always be Wolfe. But that he was willing to try new things and attempt to give her what she needed. . .
That meant the world.
“Did you like being in the SEALs?” she asked. She’d have thought that would be hard for him. Having to take orders. Being close to others. “Don’t you have to bond with your team?”
“Wasn’t easy. Aleki and Caleb helped a lot. If we’d been on different teams I wouldn’t have coped. But we made a good team together, thankfully they saw that. The others in our team knew I was different. They would go through Aleki and Caleb.”
Isolating Wolfe. She knew why Aleki and Caleb had done it. They’d tried to help him. But maybe they’d accidentally done the wrong thing.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said as he drew something out of the bag and plugged it in. She blinked in surprise at the nightlight he’d plugged in. It was in the shape of a pig. Ooh. She did love pigs.
“What’s that?” she asked, surprised. Wolfe wasn’t the most aware of people.
“You’re thinking they should have forced me to interact with the rest of the team, that I was isolated.”
“Well, umm, yes sort of.”
“The thing that you have to realize is that I didn’t care about them. I did what I had to in order to be part of the team. But there are only so many people I can let in. I don’t have the emotional capacity for more. Our family is it. So I can pretend to care about others, but I really don’t. Aleki and Caleb know this. I’ll try to give you what you need, but will it be enough? Can you be satisfied with what I’m capable of giving you?”