I pulled back the blanket draped over his bed and patted the thin, lumpy mattress. "Climb in." Israel crawled into bed and rested his head on his pillow, hugging his rabbit toy close to his chest. I tucked his blanket tightly around both of them and asked, "Would you like to hear a story?"
His eyes sparkled as he nodded excitedly. "I'd love to!"
I sat down on the edge of his bed and thought for a few moments; I'd dreamed of this moment for so long and I wanted to get it right. Finally I began, "Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince named Izzy."
"I like this story already."
I chuckled and combed my fingers through his hair. He didn't even flinch when I exposed his ear, and my heart warmed. He was comfortable with my presence and touch, and confident that I wouldn't think less of his imperfection.
"Prince Izzy and his trusty rabbit-" I paused the story to ask, "What's your rabbit's name?"
He inspected his toy for a moment before answering, "Flopsy."
I smiled and told him, "That's a great name."
"Thanks."
I cleared my throat and continued, "Prince Izzy and his trusty rabbit Flopsy decided to go berry picking. Izzy had heard that there was a huge crop of blackberry bushes inside the forest and decided to visit because they were Flopsy's favorite snack."
"They ventured into the woods and followed a path that wound past trees and wildflowers, and they jumped on rocks to cross a small creek. But soon, the path disappeared. The trees became thicker and blocked the sun, so the sky grew darker. Izzy was scared; he and Flopsy were lost."
Israel's eyes were wide and his grip was tight on the blanket covering him. My intention wasn't to scare him, so I moved the story towards its happy ending.
"Just when Izzy wondered how they would ever get home, he saw something moving ahead of him. He thought it might be a fox or a bear, but he was happy to discover that it was a traveller named Niko."
Israel interrupted by cupping his hand around his mouth and whispering, "You forgot to say handsome traveller."
"Forgive me," I replied with a smile, and then corrected, "He was happy to discover that it was a handsome traveller named Niko." Israel nodded his approval. "Niko asked the prince, 'Why do you look so sad?' and Izzy told him all about the blackberry crop and getting lost."
"'Don't worry,' Niko told them, 'I know exactly where the berries are. You've just gone off the path; follow me'. And so, Izzy and Flopsy followed Niko further into the woods until they reached a clearing. The sun shone down on bushes full of the biggest berries Izzy had ever seen; some were as big as his thumb. And they were the sweetest fruit he'd ever eaten."
"Once the three of them ate delicious berries until their stomachs were full, Izzy turned to Niko and said, 'Thank you for helping us find our way. I don't know what we would've done without you. I want to give you a gift to repay you for your kindness. As prince, I can offer you anything; money, jewels, a room in my castle...tell me the desire of your heart and you shall have it."
"What did he choose?" Israel asked, hanging on my every word.
"Niko replied, 'I don't need riches or castles, for I have my own. My heart holds one desire over all others; you. I long to not only call you mine, but to share a very special relationship with you. I want to hold and protect you; to care for you in every way. I will cook for you, sing to you, bathe you, buy you toys and watch you play. Because I want to be more than your partner, lover or best friend. I want to be your Daddy, and spend my days taking care of my little one'."
The way Israel's eyes glistened with moisture told me that he understood my desires weren't confined only to the story. I put all of my cards on the table and asked him, "And what was Izzy's answer?"
"Yes," he replied in a whisper. "He said yes." Israel sat up quickly and threw his arms around my neck. I squeezed him tightly, running my hand up and down his back. "I've read about Daddies who take care of their boys and don't think they're silly for liking toys or stories or bath time, but I didn't think I'd ever meet one. And I never believed one would want me."
"Believe it," I said into his curly hair. "I want you with everything I am."
"I want you too." My heart fluttered in my chest as he sat upright. "How did you know that I'd like my bunny and a story? How did you know that I wanted a Daddy so, so much?"
How could I explain Fate's pairing and our perfect match without telling my identity? I feared it would be too much for one night. Instead, I smiled down at him and said, "I've been waiting a very long time to find my special boy. When I saw how sweet and beautiful you were, I hoped with everything inside me that you would agree to be mine."
Israel threw himself on me again, and I chuckled as I patted his back. He rose up again and began firing off questions. "What if I'm not good at being your boy? I've never been anyone's boy before; I've never even been anyone's boyfriend before. I was always too afraid my father would find out and punish me...especially if he knew what I wanted to do with a man. Does that bother you? What if I don't know what to do? When will I be little? What if I don't want to be big? What if you change your mind? How can I make you happy?"
"Shh, shh, little one," I soothed. "You don't have to worry about a thing. Daddy is here to take care of you now." It was the most incredible sentence I'd ever spoken. "It doesn't bother me that you aren't experienced; if anything, it makes things more special between us. I'll show you everything, and you don't have to wonder about how to make me happy; you thrill me by just being yourself."
"You can be little as often as you like; you're a grown man and can choose the headspace that makes you happiest. There's no shame in what you want, and life is all about finding what gives you joy. You never have to worry that it's too much for me. I've known that I'm a Daddy and a caregiver nearly all of my life and those are things that aren't going to change." I combed through his hair again and checked, "Did I answer all of your questions?"
Israel nodded. "But I think I'll have a hundred more."
"I'm happy to answer them all, but right now, you need sleep." I patted his pillow and he lay back down, cuddling his toy. I'd love to cuddle him as well, but didn't want to push beyond his comfort level. Instead, I'd stand guard at his front door all night to ensure his safety. "You rest well, and then I'll come back and we can get some breakfast together in the morning."
Izzy's eyes popped open wide. "Like a date?" I nodded and his smile stretched from ear to ear. "Oh, yes! A breakfast date with my Daddy!" My stomach somersaulted at the name on his lips. It was worth the 694 year wait.
"That's right. We'll go anywhere you like."
"I'm going to go to sleep really fast so it will be morning quicker."
I laughed out loud, letting the joy bubbling within me dance around the room. "I'm excited too."
But our excitement died away when shouting rose up from somewhere in the distance, leaking through the thin walls of his apartment building. Curses and threats flew freely between two male voices, and Izzy gripped his blanket.