“I need to go,” he whispered shakily and Bradshaw nodded as he lowered his head and brushed his lips against Grant’s cheek.
“You can have whatever you want, all you have to do is ask. I’m not in a hurry and I want you to trust me,” he whispered. Grant shivered despite the beads of sweat rolling down his chest and back.
“Why?” He asked as his brain went Splat! Grant was suddenly locked in his head and the sob was turning into a storm. He didn’t understand why Bradshaw needed his trust. Grant was cooperating and coping. Wasn’t that enough? It felt like they were becoming friends and everyone thought they were in love. What more did Bradshaw want? Was it part of the plan for Grant to become emotionally invested then devastated when Bradshaw left? Maybe it was just about sex? Bradshaw knew Grant was a mess. Letting him lead was probably the easiest way to get into Grant’s pants, if you had an infinite amount of patience. Which Bradshaw clearly did. Maybe it was his ego? Bradshaw didn’t like to be told no and he loved a challenge… “Stop!” Grant ordered himself as he grabbed his head. “I’m trying but I need to go, Bradshaw,” he said as he turned and climbed out of the pool.
“You can at least call me Royce, after that. It’s only fair,” Bradshaw argued before he fell back and spread his arms. Grant waved vaguely as he hurried around the pool and past the kitchen doors. He ran along the paving stones to his room and Grant’s lower lip trembled as he crashed through the French doors. He locked them and pulled the curtains shut then turned and stumbled out of his wet trunks before he crawled into bed. Grant yanked the thick duvet over his head and pushed his face into his pillow and screamed as his chest turned itself inside-out and spilled into the bedding.
Chapter 19
Grant looked like he was ready to face the guillotine as he strode to the coffee maker in his crying robe and Royce felt like he was going to burst, he was so proud of him. Royce would have known it was Grant’s crying robe if Audrey hadn’t warned him about its presence. It was red and plaid and so faded and torn, crying was about the only thing it was good for. And Grant’s eyes were red and puffy and he looked like he’d spent the night beating himself up. Royce ached to comfort him but he knew Grant was using every ounce of courage he could muster as he hugged his chest with one arm and filled his mug.
“Good morning,” Royce said as he slid from his chair and stepped around the kitchen table. Grant threw him a quick, wary glance before he became intensely interested in his coffee mug.
“Good morning,” he murmured then took a careful sip. Royce groaned as he reached for Grant’s face but he leaned away as he danced back.
“Don’t!” Royce begged as his hand curved around Grant’s jaw. “Yesterday was...spectacular. I don’t want you to pull away from me after that,” he said. Grant squeezed his eyes shut and bit down on his lips.
“Couldn’t we just pretend that never happened? I know this won’t make sense but Beyoncé made me do it,” he whispered. Royce shook his head and it took a surreal amount of strength not to laugh. It made a lot of sense, if Royce considered the source of his intelligence. Audrey’s motives were extremely suspect but also pure. He’d forgive her meddling.
“I don’t think we should. You’re going to rip yourself to pieces, worrying about what I think of you and what you did and if I respect you or think there’s something wrong with you,” Royce predicted and Grant gasped as he pointed.
“How did you know?” He demanded and Royce rolled his eyes.
“You’re not as broken as you think you are. It makes sense, if I was in your place,” he said. Grant’s jaw hung as he curled around his mug before he snorted.
“So, you really aren’t that smart, if it’s so obvious,” he countered and Royce laughed as he held up his hands then carefully rocked forward and kissed Grant on the cheek.
“Yesterday was amazing,” Royce purred. Grant shushed him but he didn’t pull away. Royce adored him for not pulling away.
“Stop.”
“No. I don’t want you to have any doubts or lose a moment of sleep,” Royce said as his hand curved around Grant’s neck and he pulled him closer. “That was the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“No.”
“The hottest, Grant. I’ve never come that hard and that fast in my life. It was spiritual,” Royce murmured as he tilted his head so he could kiss Grant’s neck. Dear, God, he shivered and it made Royce desperate. “It was amazing and if you ever find you want...to again, or you’d like me to...” He silently pleaded with Grant to let him touch and taste him. I need you. Royce breathed his name as he traced his ear with his tongue.
“I...” Grant’s jaw stretched as he panted but he pulled in a steadying breath and shook his head. “I don’t think that would be a good idea. Thank you for understanding and making this less awkward,” he said then gave Royce a brave smile as he stepped back and held up his mug. “I’ll take this upstairs and get ready. It’ll look good if we take Edgar to get the mail and coffee together.”
“Sounds perfect,” Royce said as he followed. “I’ll finish getting ready,” he added and Grant stopped and frowned.
“I noticed that you used my bathroom and left your products in there. Is something wrong with the guest bathroom?” He asked. Royce hissed as he brushed his hand through his hair.
“I don’t want to turn on any of the lights in the guest bedroom or use the bathroom. In case someone does a little snooping,” he explained carefully. Grant’s head pushed forward and he squinted.
“Who...?”
“Sally or Drew might come over or one of the other neighbors. People get curious and they like to gossip,” Royce offered.
“What?” Grant frowned as he shook his head. “Normal people don’t do that! I’m going to get ready,” he muttered as he hurried around the stairs and his door slammed shut.
“I’d consider that a promising start,” Royce decided then went back to the kitchen to finish the paper. Their trip to the post office and the coffee shop and their walk with Edgar was relaxed and Grant even laughed a few times. Audrey blew through the house just before dinner to check on them and pick up a change of clothes.
“We’re staying at Marcy’s after the concert and she’s cutting our hair in the morning,” she reminded Grant and his eyes tightened as he nodded along but he continued to scan the deposition he was reading.
“Vampire Weekend?” He recalled and she hummed in agreement. “Stay with Marcy and don’t let anyone give you anything to drink and don’t use drugs,” he murmured distantly and she pulled a face then looked at Royce.
“If I wanted to get high, I’d just stay home and loot the stash in his office,” she said and Grant widened his eyes at her.
“I have a prescription and I only use it when I can’t stop feeling like the house is on fire!” He hissed and Royce coughed into his fist so Grant wouldn’t catch him smiling.
“I’ll check in when we get to Marcy’s,” she promised as she kissed Grant’s cheek and Royce held his hand up so she could slap it as she passed.