My ear against his chest hearing his rapidly beating heart should concern me but it lulls my fear.
“He put his hands on all of you?” It’s Ocean shaking now.
My body goes rigid. I understand too clearly what this patient man is asking me.
“C-Colton tried when I was s-sixteen, but he smelled of stale beer, his eyes were like red saucers and he could hardly stand up, so I overpowered him, whacking my side table lamp over his head knocking him out cold. I thought he was d-dead.”
“He will be.” Sounding harsh, heat swamps me from the anger radiating off Ocean.
“That’s the same night I left my dysfunctional f-family. I left LA traveling to San Francisco on a bus where I was h-homeless for a while, worked and saved money and finally was able to do a c-course in floristry. I haven’t seen either of them since then. I keep track of them. Dad’s almost dead somewhere and Colton was in jail last I heard. I moved back here about nine months ago ‘cause a job opportunity came up at the florist at the hospital. I couldn’t turn it down. I thought after ten years of being away, I could hide my identity from my family and start a new life that I have dreamed of.”
“Fuck.”
Looking into his swirling dark eyes, I can see a cyclone brewing in them, and I jump up.
Flight takes over my senses, scared by what I see.
It’s a similar look to what my father and brother would get before they inflicted some sort of torture on me.
I run fast on instinct toward the bedroom, slamming the door behind me, hoping that the small timber wooden door will keep the six-foot-plus man out of the room.
Thud… Whack… Thud… Whack…
I hear the pounding of my organ mixing with a blaring ringing noise in my ears. The breaths escaping my mouth are loud rivaling my other senses as I crouch down in the corner farthest from the door.
Why is this happening to me now?
My life was finally on track and I’d built up a successful business. One I am proud of.
When will I have a normal life?
Closing my eyes with force, my ankle throbs and my shoulder and arms ache being tightly clamped against my drawn knees. Quivering all over, darkness spears through me even though the sun is by now high in the sky.
“I’ll find you, there’s no point running,” Dad bellows from the kitchen where I made spaghetti for them, cleaning as I went. Sitting down eating dinner fast, I didn’t want to hang around afterward. It’s expected that I stay at the table until my father and brother are finished but with their last mouthful, I got up on shaky legs and made my way from the table. Quickly…
I’m out of breath hiding between the bed and the cupboard. My ears ring and I try to stop a cough from escaping as I crouch down. I knew it wouldn’t be long before he came looking for me. I’d left the shop once again in a flurry, finishing my jobs so I could get home to get dinner ready. But Dad had caught me again ogling the teenage boy who comes in every day, buying the same thing every day too. I learned my lesson the first time. Bruises decorating my skin for days after. I am careful now, but today obviously not careful enough.
“Get your ass out here. Don’t make me find you or it will be worse.”
Could it get worse?
Should I go to him?
“You little slut.” His voice is getting louder, and I want the earth to swallow me up. “No daughter of mine is going to be a tramp like her mother.”
Piercing through my skull is the creak of my bedroom door. I squeeze my lids tighter and pray that he won’t hurt me as bad as last week’s beating that should have seen me go to the hospital but instead, I was laid up for two days in my bed. Of course, I still had to get up to attend to them with a black eye and the sorest ribs.
“Please Daddy. No… I won’t do it again. I promise you. I won’t.”
Hands touch my arms.
I scream…
I’m no counselor or expert on human reactions, but Bluebell had been damaged. Perhaps not sexually but physically and mentally she was scarred.
The biggest woman problems I’ve had to deal with are coaxing my mother away from her alcohol for a few hours so we could have a family dinner resembling some kind of normal family or when Melody needed to get rid of a guy who wouldn’t take no for an answer.
My heart thumps in my head, the pulse in my neck vying for my attention. An overwhelming urge to touch Bluebell takes hold.
Like it did with Phoebe.
Fuck, I haven’t said that name in such a long time. But her story is so fucking similar.
She looked petrified when she flew to the room.
“Baby, how do I help you?” Crouching down beside her hunched over body, my arms instantly wrap themselves around her without a second thought. Her screaming should make me reel back but I can’t, a ripple of pain flutters through my chest hearing her devastation. Broken and hurting, I want to erase what is hiding in her shadows.
My fingers stroke her head gently. “Bluebell, it’s Ocean. I’m here for you.”
Her piercing cry subsides but her breathing is still escalated. How do I fix this? My body is flooded with warmth touching Bluebell in such a vulnerable state, my lips moisten and my fingers ache to run over her body to stop her trembling. My mind is in overdrive going through scenarios to take this pain away permanently from Bluebell.
“Sshh… no one’s going to hurt you again, baby.” Her body exhales but her eyes don’t open although the wrinkles around them ease up with her body relaxing a little bit. “I’ve got you now. I won’t let them near you.”
The guys say I speak shit all the time. Trying to maintain some fun in our deadly lives, I take it upon myself to be the joker of us all but in contrast, when I mean business, nothing gets away from me. No one escapes their punishment, and I don’t usually ask twice before issuing it. I need no more words from Bluebell about her sadistic brother or father. They come within a mile of her, and they won’t be alive long enough to say sorry to her.
“Ocean?” Her voice is tiny and hesitant making me squeeze her a bit more. I try to work on evening out my breathing so I am calm when she is fully coherent. I can’t scare her again.
“Yeah.” Moving her body slightly, my arms loosen, and I watch her carefully as her eyes regain focus. “How do you feel?”
“Embarrassed and scared.”
Cupping her chin and at the same time keeping her next to me, I stare at her. “That’s something you never have to be around me. You’ve been hurt, baby. Your body is protecting you but now you don’t have to do it alone. I’m going to be right by your side.”
“The look you got in your e-eyes was the same look my brother would give me before he b-beat me.” Wet lashes draw up revealing eyes that have seen too much havoc.
My chest plummets and I want to slam my fist into my own face. I don’t move though, at this stage I think I need her stability to keep me from hunting down her family and shedding my own type of manic onto them. “I know. I am sorry I didn’t control myself better but what they have put you through is inexcusable. But you never have to be frightened around me, Bluebell.”
“It’s s-stupid or maybe I am but somehow I know that. Instinct, flight or fight kicked in and my normal is to run.”