“I miss you, too,” she finally says quietly. “But that doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind.”
“I know. I guess I just want you to know my feelings haven’t changed.”
“Hey, Kiersten,” Tammy yells interrupting the moment. “I got a big order for ya.”
The woman I love turns away from me and begins the task of pulling together buckets of ice, bottles of beer, and the occasional mixed beverage. Tammy’s not kidding it’s a big order. Seems like everyone in this place got thirsty at the same time.
“The game is over and they’re celebrating Dwayne’s victory,” Tammy exclaims with delight. I guess she was more invested in the game than I realized.
I jump in and help them gather everything, most of which doesn’t even fit on Tammy’s tray. This is going to take several trips.
“Do you mind taking these over to the booth?” Tammy asks Kiersten, gesturing over her shoulder to Frankie’s favorite spot. Frankie isn’t here tonight, but he’s not the only one who seems to like that high-back booth.
“Sure thing. Can you cover me back here?” Kiersten asks me but doesn’t wait for an answer before she takes off to make the delivery. Like I said, some things work like clockwork around here.
“While she’s out of earshot and I have the chance, I need you to listen to me and listen good.” The forcefulness of Tammy’s words make me take pause. “I don’t know what you did to make things worse, but I’m tired of you two pining over each other from a distance. It’s time for you to make a big gesture.”
Fancy words coming from someone who’s feelings aren’t on the line. “Some romance novel shit is not going to win her over. I just need to keep proving I’m trustworthy. Slow and steady and all that.”
“That’s hogwash and you know it.” Tammy points her finger at me and I’m taken slightly aback at her aggressiveness. “Every woman wants a grand gesture, especially if you spend most of your time being private.”
I open my mouth to argue but she cuts me off before I can say a word.
“No. You listen to me. Putting yourself on the line in private is one thing, but there’s no accountability in that. Putting yourself on the line in public? That means a whole lot of people will be pissed off at you if you don’t follow through. See the difference?”
Oddly, I do. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I look over at Nicole for confirmation.
She nods in agreement. “Everything Spence did was private. His parents are still trying to keep his sins private. No one has ever put themselves out there for her publicly.”
And now I feel like an idiot. Of course, she feels like I’m not trustworthy. My intentions might be different, but I’m treating our relationship the exact same way Spence did. Like it’s something that doesn’t need to be discussed publicly. To me, it’s because I don’t want to screw it up. I want to keep it to myself so no outside influences cause problems. But to her, it’s reminiscent of the worst blow she’s ever been dealt.
I need to fix this, I’m just not sure how.
My eyes search the room quickly, looking for her. I should have known I’d find her on the dance floor, helping celebrate with Dwayne. That man is holding one of her hands while he shows off some fancy footwork. Kiersten’s face is radiating joy as she keeps up with whatever steps he throws at her.
I can’t help when my lips quirk up. She does that to me. Even just watching her makes me feel happy.
Tammy snickers next to me. “Nothing that girl loves more than taking a spin around the dance floor.”
And that’s when an idea begins to form. If she needs a grand gesture, I think I have the perfect one.
TWENTY-SIX
Kiersten
“Bye, buddy. Have fun at school.”
Carson runs into his classroom without looking back.
“Harumph,” I grumble under my breath. “I see how it is.”
Nicole laughs lightly next to me. “At least he likes his daycare. Not everyone can say that.” She doesn’t have to gesture behind her for me to know who she’s talking about. It’s pretty clear by how long the shrieking has been going on in the hallway that one of the two-year-olds still has his mother in a chokehold while his teacher tries to untangle his arms.
“Sometimes I wish Carson loved me like that.”
“It’ll only make things weird when he’s my age.”
She’s got a point. And she’s right, it is good that he enjoys school because he’s going to be spending more time here today. Paul called me in to work early. Something about not having time for inventory at night anymore so we need to do it during the day. The words themselves made sense, but it was the tone he used that made me question his truthfulness.
Or maybe it’s just me still struggling with the stalemate that we’ve found ourselves in.
I’ve been stuck in my head ever since our fall out and all the thinking time has led me to a realization. I’m in love with Paul. Bone deep, soul defying love. And while people think love heals all wounds, it doesn’t. It doesn’t even come close. And that’s where I’m stuck. I’m not fully healed from the scars that cover my soul and not even loving Paul can change that.
“Thanks for letting me drop him early,” I say with a wave to the director as we walk past her office on our way out.
“No problem. Heath pays for full-time care in case you need it so it’s yours to use.”
My only response is a shake of my head. Of course, he pays for full-time daycare. That’s something only Heath would feel is a good investment—daycare just in case it’s needed. I make a mental note to thank him once again. At this point, it’s the only thing I can do. There’s no way I’ll ever be able to repay him for everything.
Nicole and I climb into my car and head to Frui Vita several hours ahead of my normal schedule. Paul has assured me he’ll let me go home early as well, but I have my doubts. Inventory alone can go on for hours. And if I’m still there when the first batch of patrons come in, there’s no way I’ll be out of there before closing time. Not with only three of us working. I really hope he followed up with Jaxon’s brother. I have no idea if he’ll be a good fit, but at this point, he seems like our best bet.
I pull into the gravel lot and park in my normal space in the middle. It’s not at the front but has the best lighting for leaving in the middle of the night. It’s also right next to a giant black truck which is odd.
“Why are there a bunch of cars here? How many people did he call in to help?”
Nicole shrugs but doesn’t answer, likely as confused as I am. Once again, I question how truthful Paul was being when we talked about my shift change today. Not that it’s a bad thing to have more help. I just don’t understand what’s going on.
My sister doesn’t seem to be having the same existential crisis I’m suffering from. She’s halfway through the parking lot before I’m out of the car, which is yet another odd thing. Normally she’s stuck by my side like glue. What is with everyone today? Am I overthinking literally everything?
Shaking off my random thoughts, I hustle through the door only to find well over a dozen people inside. They’re all women, many with familiar faces, and they’re all congregating on the dance floor, smiling and laughing as if they’re anticipating the start of something. But what?