“I don’t want anything from you.”
When she didn’t respond, he dipped his head and rasped his tongue over the seam of her lips. She pulled away and gasped for air. Jesus, she hadn’t been lying when she’d said how much that damn stud in his tongue excited her.
“Nothing?”
“Well, not nothing. I want your gorgeous, luscious, perfect body. Over and over again.” He cupped her chin and drew her back. Their mouths rubbed against each other, the contact as light as satin whispering over flushed skin. “But as far as anything beyond today, no. I’m happy with what you have to give me.”
Though he’d said exactly what she needed to hear, her stomach tightened. She couldn’t get into a relationship again. Not this soon. But Justin wasn’t a casual lover. He couldn’t be. They had history. So maybe the best thing she could do for both of them was to leave before she screwed up their friendship.
“I don’t want to lose you.” Desperation tinged her words, but it couldn’t be helped. Dammit, he mattered. Too much. “But I’m not in a place where we could continue this, even if you wanted to. Even if I wanted to. Rob—”
His hands framed her face until his eyes, intently blue in the growing daylight, were all she could see. “Tell me he didn't hurt you.”
When she hesitated, his expression became murderous so swiftly her heart stopped. “Goddammit, Kylie, I’ll fucking kill him.”
“Justin, listen to me. Listen,” she commanded, trying to stem her shock. How had she missed his quick temper too? And if she’d missed so much, who did she care about, really? The man she’d thought she knew was only a figment of her imagination. “He didn’t lay a hand on me. Not like that. He didn’t abuse me, not in the traditional sense.”
He slitted his eyes. “Then what sense are we talking about?”
She took a breath. How far should she go? Could she go? She’d never said the truth aloud. “He…likes sex. A lot. Not vanilla sex. He pushes the limits.” She sucked in a breath. “It doesn’t hurt anybody. It’s consensual. Mostly.” God, could she just spit it out? “He always had a big appetite, as do I. At the beginning it was fun. Then he started withholding things from me if I had a headache or if I wasn’t in the mood to experiment. Affection went first. Eventually he stopped paying attention to me altogether if I didn’t want to participate in his newest kink.” She shrugged jerkily. “So I participated. I never got hurt. Hell, I usually even had an orgasm. He didn’t get why I complained or why I stopped caring if he was affectionate. It was my life, and I lived it.”
She kept her gaze straight ahead when Justin rolled away from her and paced to the window on the far side of the room. He’d decorated as sparsely in here as he had in the rest of the house, and the lack of furnishings contributed to the echo of her voice. Other than the bed, the only furniture was a small dresser, a nightstand, and a TV stand. And, she noted, a guitar propped on a small chair in one corner. Was that how he’d gotten the calluses?
Man, the guy had more hidden sides than a Rubik’s Cube.
“So what made you change your mind about staying?”
She shook off her thoughts about his guitar. Wasn’t exactly important at the moment, but she’d definitely ask later. “He wanted us to try a threesome with a woman he worked with—Darla. I told him it wasn’t my thing, and he didn’t speak to me for days. By then I knew I had to get out, but I had to find a place to live first. I couldn’t just walk out the door.”
“You could have always come to me. You could have stayed here.”
“Oh yeah, right. Sure.” She laughed so she wouldn’t cry. “Really easy to spill the details of your sex life to the guy you give extra peanuts to on game nights.”
“Maybe not, but you didn’t seem to have too much trouble inviting said guy to be a part of your sex life, now did you?”
Shame scalded her cheeks, though she wasn’t sure what she was embarrassed about. That she’d just trivialized their relationship, how willingly she’d gone to bed with Justin, or what she’d lived with for years. Years she would never get back. “So does that make me a slut? I just told you I’m game for anything.” She sat up on the opposite side of the bed from Justin. “I bet nothing in that drawer of yours would make me bat an eyelash. I’ve probably tried things you haven’t.”
“Pleasure isn’t wrong, Kylie.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“The problem is when it’s not about pleasure.” He came around the bed and sat down next to her, as comfortably naked with her as she was with him. It was as if they’d been lovers for years, not hours. “Just because you enjoyed some of what you did doesn’t make him any less culpable. Guilting someone into sex is a damn short leap from forcing someone.”
She started to argue, to explain, then fell silent. From his clenched jaw, he wouldn’t hear anything she said right now anyway. And she wasn’t even sure what the truth was anymore. Somewhere along the way, attraction had turned into compliance and eventually indifference. When it had really bothered her, she’d said no. The rest of the time she’d just gone along. Rob had said he loved her, and she’d always wanted someone to pay attention to her the way he had. By the time she’d grown beyond needing his acceptance, giving in had become a habit.
Which made her culpable too.
“Don’t sit there and blame yourself. Just don’t.” Justin gripped her chin and stared hard into her eyes. “It’s different with us. No matter what you saw in that drawer, no matter how many ways I’ve dreamed of taking you, I wouldn’t demand anything you weren’t eager to give.” He allowed her a moment to process that, then rose and took her hand. “Feel like a shower and breakfast? You must be hungry. You barely picked at your dinner last night.”
That was it? His anger had gone as quickly as it had come. All that was left behind was the Justin she knew, the one who cared about people as easily as he breathed.
She stood, smiling faintly as her stomach growled. “Yeah, I could eat.”
“You like sausage?” he asked, grabbing something for her to wear from his dresser before leading the way into the master bath.
“Yours, yes.” She laughed as he turned and pulled her against him for a hard, hot kiss.
“To eat,” he said when they finally broke apart.
“Oh, I definitely intend to sample this, don’t you worry.” Grinning, she wrapped her hand around his cock and gave it a nice long squeeze.
He laughed and set aside the clothes. Then he tugged open the shower door. “Get in there and get nice and clean for me so I can dirty you up again.” With another kiss and a lascivious eyebrow wiggle, he left her alone.
She watched him walk away. God, what an ass. Licking her lips at the familiar pulse between her thighs, she smiled and got into the shower.
For once she wasn’t dreading getting through Thanksgiving Day. If that meant she was in over her head, then she’d just damn well have to learn how to swim.
“You might need this.” He popped his head back in the doorway, holding a plastic grocery bag. As she stared at him blankly, he nodded at her left ankle. Which, of course, started to hurt just enough to be annoying. “I’ll help you tie it around your leg. Unless you’d rather do another sponge bath…” He waggled his brows.