“Was I?” His voice was so quiet she had to strain to hear him. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Wiping her suddenly damp palms on her freshly laundered jeans from last night, she sat next to him. She made a show of tugging the pretty plaid throw off the back of the couch. Once she’d wrapped herself in fleece and the comforting scent of his soap and woodsy shampoo, she lifted her eyebrows. “So tell me.”
“Just like that?”
“I told you about me and Rob.”
His mouth tightened. “He’s not going to leave you alone. Especially when you call him and give him hope.”
Ah, so there was the source of some of his anger. She wasn’t surprised that he didn’t like her phoning her ex. What did surprise her was how vehement her objection to his displeasure was. “I called to let him know I was all right. Despite what happened, we were together for years, and he was worried. I owed him that much.”
“You owed him nothing,” Justin said in an undertone. “Absolutely nothing. The guy strong-armed you into stuff you didn’t want to do, and when that didn’t work, he cheated on you.”
“Do you think I’ve forgotten any of that?” she snapped. “I can take care of myself, Justin. Really. The macho-man routine isn’t necessary.”
“You think I’m being macho?” He laughed and yanked on the blanket, pulling the fleece over him too. “I know women can take care of themselves. If they want to.”
She shifted to give him more of the throw and casually tossed her leg over both of his. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders to cuddle her close, which helped mitigate the flare of heat in her sore thigh. Crouching over him while he pounded into her hadn’t helped on that score either.
Not that she was complaining. She’d happily do it again in a heartbeat.
Just maybe not right now.
“I’m not a doormat.” She tucked her chilly fingers under the waistband of his jeans to absorb his warmth. “Maybe I put up with things I shouldn’t have. Maybe I shouldn’t have stuck around so long. But he never hit me, I swear. Never even threatened to hit me. If he had, I’d’ve been gone.”
Justin was quiet for a long moment while he stared into the fireplace across the room. “So he made you do things you weren’t comfortable with, and that was okay? That’s not a form of abuse?”
“It wasn’t what we were doing that bothered me.” She swallowed hard and wished she had a mug of something hot to wrap her hands around. Her gaze landed on the forgotten cups of cocoa they’d never finished, and her stomach twisted. How had such a perfect day gone so wrong? “The idea of sexual experimentation never bothered me. Changing things up is fine. I, uh, have a good imagination.”
“Nice to know.”
“I think it was him I didn’t want, not what was happening. I don’t know for sure. Doggy-style was about as inventive as I got with other lovers.” She shrugged. “After a while it stopped being fun and I felt like I was being judged. I wasn’t kinky enough to suit him, I guess.”
He rubbed the back of her knuckles. “You’re plenty kinky enough to suit me.”
She choked out a laugh, surprised her chest felt too tight. “Oh, I don’t know. I saw that drawer of yours…”
“What’s in that drawer never has to be part of us if you don’t want it to be.” His dark blue gaze locked on hers. Such concern and affection radiated there, she couldn’t have doubted him if she tried. “But you’re more than enough for me all on your own.”
The tightness intensified. “You don’t really know who I am yet, and vice versa. We haven’t spent much time together recently without pint glasses or a TV screen between us. Time where we can just relax and be.”
“Easy enough to rectify that.” He shifted her legs on his lap and fumbled around between the cushions until he unearthed the remote. Tapping buttons, he grinned at her and aimed, landing on some sort of basketball highlight show on digital cable. “TV’s on, but there’s nothing between us but clothes.”
“Way too many.” She inched onto his lap carefully, since they were both bruised and battered. Now that the rush of adrenaline had faded, all her aches were coming back tenfold. “And actually, something else is between us too.”
She dipped her head and captured his lower lip between her teeth while she toyed with his growing erection. She loved that she affected him that much.
“I thought we needed to get to know each other better. Verbally,” he added when she latched her mouth on to his scruffy jaw. His thumbs teased the hollows of her stomach before slipping under the waistband of her jeans. “God, your skin’s so soft.”
“Aloe vera lotion twice a day.”
“You rub that all over?”
“Mmm-hmm. Even here.” She dragged his hand lower and pressed it against her yearning center. “Right along the crease of my thigh…”
“No wonder you smell so damn good.” His knuckles brushed against the seam of her jeans.
“Oh, God. Shit, no way! Cornell lost?” Her moan ended with her craning her neck to see the score, prompting him to laugh.
“Here, turn around.” He resettled her on his lap facing the TV and nuzzled the crook between her neck and shoulder as she snuggled closer. “Maybe I can concentrate more on talking if you don’t have your mouth on me.”
“You think?” She shifted until she could wiggle her ass against his cock. “Lots of other ways to distract you.”
“Undoubtedly. But you wanted to talk.”
“Yeah.” She sighed and focused hard on the screen. Why was she scared all of a sudden? Denying the sides of Justin’s nature she didn’t want to know about wouldn’t make them go away. “Only for a little while. Then we’ll have fun. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, after all. I hope you have something we can scrounge up to make a decent meal.”
Something special. Thanksgiving was a family holiday, and if she and Justin were standing in as each other’s, she wanted tonight and tomorrow to be about more than fighting and mistrust and bruises.
Her body warmed as she glanced at the simmering fire and remembered. Who was she kidding? She’d recall this day as much more than that. It was also about the hottest lovemaking she’d ever experienced. The closest connection she’d ever felt to another, even in the midst of something so wild and primal her brain had gone on hiatus.
“I usually do frozen pizza, but since you’re here, we’ll come up with something a little more appetizing.” He pressed his tongue against the pulse point just below her ear, provoking a fierce throbbing between her thighs.
God, she was primed for him. One touch, one look, and she was ready to throw away her misgivings.
“I’ll make mojitos and throw together some appetizers.” The idea of staring at Justin in firelight as they fed each other finger foods pleased her immeasurably. “Depending on what you have in the fridge and how long the store’s open. You’ll let me borrow your truck?”
“Not sure I trust you around my stick after last night.”
She reached back to grasp his dick playfully. “Keep that talk up and you and your stick will be awfully lonely tonight.”