“Jenna’s just pulled up outside,” she informs me nervously. Oh crap.
“Did you tell her to come today?” she asks timidly. I nod. I did tell her to come today but I didn’t think she’d come right now.
“Did you tell Lauren Jenna was coming today?” she asks tightly
Nope.
My mom lets out a nervous sigh.
“Chris, with this many women in your life, you’re going to have to learn to communicate a little better.” She sighs. It’s not a communication problem, more like a procrastination problem.
“I think you should let Lauren know that Jenna’s about to arrive and I'll let Jenna in,” she says, pointing me back to the room. She shakes her head before leaving me standing next to the door looking like an idiot.
I am an idiot.
I should have talked to Lauren about this a while ago but it can’t be that big a deal. She knows about Jenna and that she’ll eventually have to meet Caylen.
It’ll be fine.
I let out a deep sigh before going in. When I enter, she’s unpacking her suitcase. She glances up at me curiously.
“What’s up?” she asks knowingly. I must look how I feel.
“I wanted to have a chance to talk to you about this first but…well, Jenna’s here to meet Caylen,” I say and swallow the lump in my throat. She drops the shirt she was folding and I can tell her breathing has changed. She doesn’t look at me. She keeps her eyes on the shirt she was folding. If I didn’t feel like an ass before, I definitely do now. Her face is flushed and I know it’s not from embarrassment, or maybe it is. The first time I saw her face flushed that color, Cal was the cause. This time I can’t blame him. This is strictly because of me.
“She’s here now?” Her sentence is quick but choppy.
“Yeah,” I nod. The next few seconds are more than awkward. I have a feeling Lauren’s burning holes in the shirt she’s staring at to keep from burning holes in my face. There’s an eerie silence until Caylen starts hitting one of her books on the floor. This seems to snap Lauren out of her trance.
“Just give me a few minutes to clean her up,” she replies picking up Caylen and taking the soggy chocolate chip cookie from her hand. I turn around to face her before I walk out.
“Thanks Lauren.” She glances up at me with tight smile as she starts to wipe Caylen’s mouth. When I close the door, I let out a deep breath and pray for this to go as smoothly as possible. It can’t be any worse than the last time they met.
Hopefully.
Chapter 36
Lauren
I’m an idiot. I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. I don’t know why—probably because I am an idiot—but a part of me sort of thought things were about to change. Initially, I thought that staying here was a ploy his mom was using to have more time with Caylen, but when he said that there was nowhere else he’d rather have us stay, I thought there was a chance.
A chance that maybe Chris could see me the way Cal did. Now I know there is no chance of that. I didn't even have one bag unpacked before that little delusion crumbled around me. I should have expected this, I really should have.
As Raven said, I told him I was leaving the past in the past. He’s engaged to another woman, a woman that would eventually have to meet Caylen. His life hasn’t stopped moving forward.
I’m still the foolish girl Cal left behind, waiting. I’m still waiting, the only one waiting apparently. Jenna’s no longer going to be the strange woman I saw once, she’s going to be a part of all this. She’s not waiting for anything since she already wants to meet Caylen, and if she’s meeting Caylen, she has no intention of going anywhere. Somewhere in me, I was hoping the craziness of this situation would run her off, but apparently she’s just as stupid as I am and is in this for the long haul. How am I supposed to face her? How do you make nice and pretend to be cordial with a woman who is engaged to the man you’re in love with? I’ve done a lot of fake smiling and pretending, but I’m not a good enough actress to pull this off long term. I have to try because there’s no way they’re taking Caylen anywhere alone.
Call me selfish or overprotective, but until I get to know this woman, that’s not happening. Which means I’ll have to get to know this woman.
“Poo! Poo! Poo!” I mutter to myself. Caylen’s oblivious to all this, thank God. I’ve cleaned the smeared chocolate and cookie crumbs from her face and dressed her in a cute little yellow romper. She looks adorable again. I’ve been done getting her ready for at least five minutes, but I’m glued to the bed. How am I going to go out there and not let this woman see that I’m in love with this man? She’s going to see it. Chris is the only one oblivious to it. Either that or he just doesn’t care. I pick up Caylen and remind myself of the reason I’m here. I’m not here for me. I’m really not here for Chris or even Cal. I’m here so that my daughter can have as normal of a relationship as possible with her dad, and if he wants this woman—the woman he plans on spending the rest of his life with—to meet her…
The more I try to talk myself into this, the more I’m being pushed deeper into a black hole. I smile down at Caylen and kiss her on the cheek before opening the door. I can hear them in the dining room. She’s talking about school. She says something about her law professor. I swallow the lump in my throat and practice my fake smile that seems to morph into a feeble grin as I enter the room.
Chris looks relieved, like someone just lifted the weight of the world from his shoulders. Maybe he thought I wasn’t really coming out. Mrs. Scott gives me a reassuring smile and then I see Jenna. There’s no smile on her face but her eyes narrow in on mine and she sits up straighter in her chair. She is watching me. She hasn’t even given Caylen a glance. She’s studying me and she’s not even trying to hide it. The practiced smile I was wearing has fallen completely. I’m really straining for it to not fall into a full-blown frown.
We’re complete opposites. She has platinum blonde hair falling neatly to her shoulders and piercing blue eyes. Her eye lashes are long and her eyebrows are the same color as her hair so she’s definitely a real blonde. She is wearing a taupe cashmere sweater with an elaborate gold pin. When my eyes land on her hand, there it is, the engagement ring. I don’t know if she notices where my eyes land but I could swear her lips curve into a smile and her coolness disappears as she stands up.
“Can I hold her?” she says, sweetness dripping from her voice. My eyes dart to Chris who seems a little surprised. My immediate response is “hell no” but thank God my filter is working. Unfortunately, I’m frozen. My mouth won’t open and my limbs won’t move.
“Is that okay, Lauren?” Chris asks, clearing his throat. I finally manage to walk over to Chris and hand Caylen to him. He sits her on his lap and she immediately starts reaching for the cookies in the middle of the table. Chris looks at Caylen adoringly.
“She’s definitely yours,” Jenna says with a chuckle and I let out a very dry laugh. Is that supposed to be a joke?
“Hi, there. I’m Jenna” she says, leaning forward as she watches Caylen eat her cookie. I want to throw up.