I’m married to them.
It’s like the title of a Jerry Springer episode.
I’m so hungry, but I’ve been avoiding the kitchen like the plague. I just can’t see the Scotts right now. I can’t help but feel it’s my fault Cal came back, which to them is like spreading the plague. Then there’s being in the middle of Cal’s epic tantrum. I know Mr. Scott blames me. Mrs. Scott was so sweet and comforting, yesterday. I know she’s going through so much on her own. Not knowing who your son is going to be when he shows up, has to be as bad as not knowing who your husband is going to be. The good thing in all of this is Helen comes today, and I am hoping talking to her will help me to sort this out, to be able to talk honestly without worrying if I’m hurting someone. To tell someone how much I’m hurting. My phone starts to vibrate and I see it’s Lisa. I instantly feel guilty about telling Chris what she told me. I at least should be the one to tell her before he does. I’m not sure if Chris will, but just in case.
“Hey,” she says, not sounding like her usually chipper self.
“Hey Lisa. How are you?” I say, trying to muster up my own chipper tone.
“Okay, I guess. I was hoping you could meet me, so we can talk,” she says, her voice almost monotone. Maybe Chris called her or went over there last night and she’s pissed.
“Uhm, did you talk to Chris?”
“Not today. I wanted to talk to you first,” she replies.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“Okay is relative isn’t it?” she kids, and for a moment she sounds like the Lisa I’ve come to know.
“I have to meet with a friend later on today…”
“Can we meet now?” she interrupts. I look at the clock, it’s not even 7:30 am.
“We can get breakfast. There’s a diner named Goldman’s about five minutes away from you. It’s on me.”
“Uh, okay. Give me twenty minutes.”
“Great. I’ll text you the exact address.”
“Thanks.”
“Oh, and Lauren, can you not mention to Chris that you’re meeting me?” she adds and the twinge of guilt I felt earlier turns into a complete stab.
“Please,” she says after my long pause.
“Not a problem,” I say hesitantly.
“See you soon.”
When I walk into Goldman’s it’s relatively empty. I guess for a Tuesday morning it’s expected. I easily spot her in the booth stirring her iced water with a straw. I walk over to the booth and slide in.
“Thanks for coming,” she says with a small grin. Her hair is pulled back into a short pony tail. She doesn’t have her usual make up on, none actually. Her blue eyes dart between me and her water.
“You didn’t bring Caylen.”
“No, Mrs. Scott is going to keep an eye on her until I get back.”
“Chris didn’t work today?”
“I’m not sure. I’m actually sort of avoiding him,” I say with a sigh. Her eyebrow raises.
“You know the whole Cal coming back thing has kind of thrown things off track,” I joke and I notice her smile tighten.
“About Cal. I’m so sorry that he spoke to you that way,” I say apologetically.
“Did he say anything about me?” she says abruptly. Other than calling her a lying little cunt…
“Not much,” I lie. She eyes me searching my expression as if she’s looking for another answer. Or to see if I’m lying.
“I-I have to tell you something,” I say hesitantly. Her eyes narrow in on me.
“I told Chris that you knew about Cal from when you were younger,” I rattle off quickly. I expect her to become angry, to start screaming at me about how I betrayed her trust, but she doesn’t. She laughs and lets out a relieved sigh.
“Oh that’s it? It doesn’t matter really, not now anyway I guess,” she smiles, her blue eyes lighting back up.
“But other than spewing obscenities about me?” she asks with a dry chuckle.
“No, nothing other than that,” I say, feeling a little more uncomfortable.
“Why doesn’t Cal like you?” I ask her bluntly and she seems a bit taken aback. “It’s just. It seems like there’s more to it than you spurning him in high school,” I admit.
She looks away from me her attention going back to the lone lemon in her water glass.
“There are things that Cal knows about me that. That Chris doesn’t,” she says hesitantly.
“What kind of things?” I ask her and a sad smile spreads across her face.
“… Things that I regret doing,” she pauses and I see tears well in her eyes.
“Things that could hurt a lot of people. Including Chris,” she chokes out.
“Cal…he knows these things?” I ask her hesitantly. She nods. More secrets.
“Here you go hon. Are you ready to order?” a waitress asks, interrupting the most awkward conversation ever.
“Whatever she’s having. Thank you,” I say and the waitress nods before scurrying away.
“I hope you like egg white omelets,” she jokes, while my heart is over here beating like a madwoman.
“If Cal knows whatever these things are, Chris can find out at any time Lisa. Not only is he starting to remember things, right now there’s no way of knowing when Cal will come back. What type of things does he know?” I ask her urgently. "If Cal has something on Chris that can hurt him or put him in danger…”
“No, it’s nothing like that. It won’t put him in any danger or hurt him… physically,” she says, shaking her head vehemently.
“Lisa, you can tell me,” I plead.
“It’s better that I don’t tell you Lauren. Trust me. I told Aidan and he wishes he didn’t know,” she says, attempting to smile as she quickly wipes away a falling tear.
“I asked you here because I’m going to tell Chris. I was going to tell him before all of this happened and I chickened out after talking to Cal and Aidan flipping out like he did... Now circumstances have changed where I don’t really have a choice. I just have to get my courage back up. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I was stupid…so stupid,” she says, tears flooding her face.
“Lisa it can’t be that bad. Whatever it is,” I say sitting next to her in the booth and pulling her into a hug.
“We all make mistakes. We all do things that I’m sure we wish we could take back,” I say, rubbing her back.
“I didn’t ask you here to feel sorry for me,” she chokes out. She pulls away from me and takes a deep breath.
“When I tell him Lauren, Chris is going to need you like he never has before. Promise me you’ll be there for him, that you won’t let Cal destroy him.”
My head’s pounding. Lisa wouldn’t budge with any specific information. She’s going out of town for the next week to clear her head and when she comes back she’s going to tell Chris. I can’t help but feel like a huge anvil is going to drop, and I don’t know how to prepare for it, to prepare Chris for it. We have so much to deal with already. I almost wish that whatever the hell Lisa has to get off her chest she just swallows it until things return to normal, but I can’t ask her to do that. I can’t imagine holding something in like she is. So now I’m standing on Aidan’s porch hoping he’s home. So far he hasn’t he hasn’t answered, so I’ve proceeded to banging on the door.