Chapter 32
Chris
My head is throbbing, my stomach, face, and hands hurt. I sit up and look around. I’m in a hospital room. I have an IV in my arm, and you’ve got to be kidding me. I’m handcuffed to the bed?
What did I do? Dread starts to creep all over me. Of course like always I wake up in the middle of a mess that I didn’t have anything to do with.
What am I doing here? What happened? I think about the last thing I remember. I was talking to Cal and we agreed to share. Of course this has something to do with him. I was stupid enough to trust him. I deserve this.
“Hi.” I turn to see my mom sitting in the room, a grim expression on her face.
“Mom. What’s going on? What happened?” I ask her. She looks down on her lap before glancing up at me, and it tells me almost everything I need to know. Whatever’s happened I messed up bad.
“Chris?” she asks holding back the hopeful tone in her voice.
“Yeah, it’s me, Mom.” She lets out a relieved sigh, but then the worried expression returns to her face. My head still feels woozy.
“Am I on drugs?”
“A sedative. It was hard to take you down,” she says quietly. I look at her bewildered. “What’s the last thing you remember?”
I tell her what I remember and she nods.
“Well, it’s been a few days and there was a big incident at Lauren’s gallery opening.” My heart and stomach feel like it’s been thrown off a cliff.
“Oh no. How bad is it?” I ask afraid to hear her answer.
She explains that Collin showed up and destroyed a portrait Lauren created, picked a fight with three people, and pretty much ruined her gallery opening. I feel like I’m about to throw up.
“The people you assaulted aren’t pressing charges…” she trails off conjuring up a small smile. It’s one bright spot in the story but the fallout goes so much beyond that. I can read it on her face.
“But you’re on video—a few people recorded the fight…” she continues and I throw my head back in disbelief. “You pushed Lauren, Chris… grabbed and shoved her.” She tries to keep her voice as calm as possible, but my hands are already shaking.
“I did what?!” I ask in shock. She can’t have just said what I think she said. Her lips press together tightly.
“The doctor ran some blood test, and you took some type of medication that could have caused the erratic behavior. They’ve flushed it out of your system."
“Which one of them was it?” My anger is fuming, and my fists are balled up.
“Christopher,” my mom says her voice quiet and still. “You’re my son… and I love you so much. The moment I laid eyes on you when you were five years old you were the second man who stole my heart.” Her smile makes me smile, but the solemnity in her tone scares me. “I think it’s time that you come to terms with your actions being your own.”
“Lauren must… she must hate me.”
“I’m sure she doesn’t hate you but she’s devastated, Chris.” My mom says simply, and the tone of her voice sends a chill down my spine.
“She has been through so much, son.” She is quiet but intense, her tone and the look in her eyes makes my chest tighten. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to be her and to love how she does. It’s so pure and unselfish,” she smiles. “She’s what I prayed for when I asked God to send you a wife. But everyone has their limits, Christopher.”
Her tone is ominous.
“I-is she going to leave me?” I ask her, feeling the burning sensation in my throat. She should... she should pack up and disappear—no one would blame her.
“I can’t say for sure. If anyone knows the crazy thing love makes you do, it’s me. But I will say that she is hurting. I think she has been for a long time and it’s not because she can’t accept or handle your condition, but that you have refused to.”
My eyes widen and I start to defend myself.
“You have all made it a competition—no, a battle for her to love you!” she stresses. “She is not unbreakable. A woman’s heart is so fragile. You… Collin… Cal… you have not been gentle with her heart. I don’t know how any of this works.” She shrugs slightly and wipes a tear from her eyes, coming to stand at the side of my bed.
“But whatever it is that you need to do to get well or better—you need to do it. I’ll always love you regardless of what you do. It’s sort of a requirement as a mother.” She smiles, and it’s the genuine, warm smile that used to make me feel better when I was little.
“But as a wife you have a choice, and Lauren always has chosen you. But she is not alone anymore—she has a daughter—your beautiful little girl and if it comes down to where she has to make a choice between the two of you… you won’t win.” She kisses my forehead and gives me a long hug.
“Your father and Aidan are outside waiting for you… would you like to talk to them?” My dad? What is he even doing here?
“I’ll talk to Aidan.”
She nods and a few moments after she slips out of the door Aidan comes in, hands in his pockets and a circle around his eye.
“What happened to you?” I ask seeing his face swollen. He looks like how I feel.
“You did!” he says seriously as he sits down and stretches his legs out.
“Of course.” I let out a sigh.
“I was hoping when you woke up it was the other guy, so I could punch his lights out and bring you back,” he kids… or at least I think he’s kidding.
“Tell me—was it bad?” I ask knowing Aidan won’t sugarcoat things. He whistles and shakes his head before pulling out his phone.
“Better you see it,” he says hesitantly, and after a few seconds I hear my voice and he turns the phone toward me.
“What the hell?” I ask watching the entire disaster happen.
“You were on something—you or whoever it was—wasn’t even themself.” I look at the number of views on the video. It’s at over thirty thousand, and it was only posted seven hours ago.
When I see myself push Lauren down, my heart breaks in half. I must look like I’m going to vomit because Aidan grabs the wastebasket and offers it to me. I knock it away angrily. I want to bang my head against the metal railing. I can’t even watch anymore. Nothing I’ve done could be worse than that.
“Turn it off,” I mutter.
“Wait, you don’t want to see the part where I came to the rescue thinking some asshole was ruining Lauren’s opening and the asshole turned out to be you?” he asks jokingly. I look at him blankly.
“Maybe later.” He pushes the phone back in his pocket.
“I don’t know what to do. The way my mom looked at me, I’m afraid to see how Lauren’s going to look at me. What if I’ve lost her? I’ll never forgive myself.” I cover my face with my hands.
“You realize the irony in that statement?” Aidan chuckles.
I hurt her. Not only figuratively but literally. I put my hands on her. I embarrassed her and because of what? I don’t know what made Collin take those drugs, or how it got to this point but I know it has something to do with us wanting to be in control, thinking about ourselves and not our wife or daughter. We’ve been so selfish thinking about our needs, who she loves, and who wins that we didn’t stop to think that we could all lose her. I’m disgusted—I don’t even want to look at myself.