He blinks, unfazed. Helen, however, looks as if she’s a deer caught in headlights.
“Now I’m going to sit here all day if I have to, but you’re going to tell me something, or I swear to God, I’ll walk out of this office and disappear off the face of the earth and you and Cal won’t be able to find me or Caylen ever again, regardless of how much money you have. So you think carefully before you open your mouth to lie to me,” I growl.
“What the hell is Cal doing in Madison?” Helen asks, confused.
Dexter doesn’t answer.
“Answer me!” Helen demands angrily.
“Helen, you have nothing to do with this,” he tells her sternly.
“I’m your wife, and not only your wife but her friend. She deserves to know whatever it is you know!” Helen growls.
“Helen, leave!” he orders sharply.
“No, Dex! This is beyond being loyal to him. You tell her something, or she won’t be the only one leaving!” Helen says in a low, vicious tone that makes my skin crawl.
Dexter stares her down as if she’s bluffing, but she stands her ground, and a moment later, he walks back to his chair and sits down.
“What do you want to know, Lauren?” Dex asks me calmly.
“Is that Cal?” I ask pleadingly.
He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes give it away. I feel my heart beat.
“What is he doing? Why is he there?” I wait for an answer, and he doesn’t give me one.
“Dex,” Helen says curtly.
“Maybe he likes the pie,” Dex mumbles.
I can’t believe him; he has the nerve to joke about this! “Why does that article say his name is Chris?” I feel my eyes water in frustration.
“Because that’s who it is,” Dex says quietly.
I look at Helen, who looks as confused as I am.
“You know it’s Cal. I know it’s him, so why won’t you just tell me the damn truth?” I scream desperately.
“It’s complicated,” he says sharply.
“Then explain!” I yell as my tears blur my vision.
“It’s not my place to tell you,” he says pointedly.
“It’s not your place to keep secrets from me. All I want to know is what you know!” I plead with him, but he doesn’t even flinch. “All of this time, all of this time you’ve known. I went through having Caylen alone, crying night after night, worried about him, sitting around like an idiot, and you knew! You’ve known the whole time, and you still won’t tell me even when I have his damn picture in front of you!”
“I can’t help you, Lauren. I’m sorry,” he says in a low tone.
“I thought he left me for some divine reason to protect me, and it was all a lie. He’s been in Madison using some false name. It says he went to high school there, for God’s sake. Cal told me he grew up in Chicago!” I start to feel dizzy again; my emotions are getting to me.
“You don’t understand. That’s my point!” Dexter states.
“No, I understand completely. I’m done asking you questions that you obviously aren’t going to answer. You aren’t who I should be talking to anyway.” I look at Helen, who looks as if she’s trying to maintain her calm even though her nerves are on edge. I’m exhausted from all this drama. “His address? That’s all I want from you. I at least deserve that.”
“I can’t give it to you because Cal isn’t in Madison,” he says adamantly.
“All I want is the address to where he is!” I manage to shout with the anger left in me.
“Dex, tell her!” Helen yells.
“I can’t! The person she’s going to look for isn’t going to be there!” Dexter roars.
“Then I’ll find him myself.” Madison is about the same size as Saginaw; I can find him in a week.
“Lauren, I’m asking you not to go. Give me more time…” he says, standing.
“How dare you? How dare you not tell me anything about where he is, and ask me not to look for him!” I say angrily.
“It’s not what you think!” he yells.
“Then tell her!” Helen roars back. For once, Helen is challenging Dex, going against everything she advised me during one of our first conversations about living with our men’s secrets. It’s about damn time!
“You don’t know what I think! And if you’ve listened to anything I’ve said, you’d know that things can’t get any worse!” I turn my attention to Helen, who looks as if she’s ready to march out the door and go search with me. “Bye.” I wave slightly at her before I leave the office, but she’s following right behind me.
“Lauren!” Dexter calls.
I stop in my tracks.
“He never meant for it to be this way. He really did try,” he says before disappearing back into his office.
“What the hell does that mean?” I let out an exhausted and frustrated groan. I’ve never felt so completely drained.
“Dex speaks in riddles a lot, but you listen to me,” Helen says, taking me by my shoulders. “I’m going to find out where he is. He’s going to tell me something before the night is over, and when I know, you’re the first one I’m calling.” She opens the front door.
“Call my cell. I won’t be at home; I’m going to Madison,” I tell her, heading to the elevators.
She follows me. “Now?” she asks, her voiced raised in disbelief.
I hit the button for the elevator. “I’ve been sitting around doing nothing for too long. Now there’s no excuse. I know where he is, and I’m not going to wait until he has the chance to go hide somewhere else.”
“W-what about Caylen? Where is she? You just can’t leave her.”
“Caylen is with Raven. She’s in the best hands. I’m going to call them on my way. I’m not just doing this for myself. My little girl is not going to grow up without her dad if she doesn’t have to. If Cal doesn’t owe me anything, he owes her everything!” I say, sharper than I intend to.
Helen looks down guiltily. “Give me a day. Even if Dex doesn’t tell me, I’ll hire a private investigator. You can’t do anything if you don’t know where he is.”
The bell dings, and the elevator doors open. I sigh in frustration and walk in. “You think I haven’t done that? If it was the other way around and you were in my situation, would you waste another second?”
“I’m not trying to stop you, Lauren, I… I just want to help,” she says, seemingly offended. Her eyes convey nothing but sincerity, but I always have to guess with her.
I take a deep breath. Helen is a mystery to me sometimes. One minute she’s this cool, confident, intimidating woman, and the next she seems warm, genuine, and sincere. When I first met her, Cal warned me about her, but right now, his words aren’t holding too much weight with me. I don’t have time to figure out what her motives are anymore, and I really don’t care if she’s on Dexter’s side or mine, or if she has her own agenda in this, for that matter, because I have my own.
“If you want to help me, Helen”—I push the button for the elevator to go down—“get me an address.”