“Ah, ah!” James murmured, “Remember what I said?”
Mum sagged back amongst the pillows and nodded, tears running down her face as she stared at me. “Hi, sweetheart! How are you? Are you okay?”
“I’m great, Mummy! James has made me pancakes for breakfast all week!” I said, beaming. I absolutely loved pancakes, and he was a master at them. This morning he’d even added chocolate chips.
“Oh, that’s wonderful, honey.”
“And Shay takes me to play at the creek. He’s going to show me how to fish.”
“That will be fun.”
I stare at her face, noting the tears that slid down her cheeks, despite her cheery tone. “Are you okay, Mummy?”
“I’m fine, honey, just a little sore…”
“Want me to get you some medicine?”
She flashed a half-hearted smile. “I’m alright. I had some this morning. You promise me you’re okay?”
“I am. I’ve been having lots of fun. Shay has been playing games with me and James bought me a dollhouse!”
Mum’s eyes flashed to the man standing behind me, her expression one I couldn’t understand. “That was kind of him…” she said slowly.
“Time’s up, Mina. Go down and play in your room for a bit, yeah?” James murmured. “I’ll be by in a little bit to make you some lunch.”
It was now a month later, and I opened my eyes to the small ray of sunshine that was peeking through the curtains of my window. The rays shone across the middle of my bed to the floor. I yawned, stretched, and sat up in my pink, frilly bed and smiled. Today, my mother and James were getting married. The past month, after we officially moved in with the boys, it had been peaceful and fun. The house was full of laughter. Mum seemed to have calmed down after the accident, and she and James were back to their gross kissing and snuggling selves. It had been wonderful with everyone getting along again. I felt a huge sigh of relief as all my anxiety was lifted from my shoulders. We had dinners, family movie nights, and James took me for a ride down the short driveway on his Harley, moving at a snail’s pace and refusing to go faster, despite my urging. He and Mum went on plenty of dates, leaving Shay and I at home together, which had been fun, as Shay was proving to be a great babysitter.
He had become my favourite in all of this. Even though he was six years older than me, Shay indulged me quite a bit, agreeing to play dolls, and reading me endless books that I had stashed on my bookshelf. He agreed to play board games, sang me songs and played on his guitar, or showed me funny videos on YouTube on his computer. He’d stepped into the role of big brother with enthusiasm and I was loving it! Being an only child for the first seven years of my life had been lonely. Now, things were looking up for our family, and I was excited at the prospect of having James and Shay around.
The ceremony was held at a small church with only James’ close friends, Shay, and I in attendance. I got to wear a frilly, white dress, throw flowers, and hid my face behind my hands when James kissed my mummy. Everyone had laughed when I did, and then we had all gone to the club to celebrate.
I liked James’ clubhouse. The guys there had several TV’s, couches, machines that flashed cards and other weird games I didn’t know. There was a bar and I was allowed to order food if I wanted, and James showed me his private office and bedroom that he used when he had to work late, as he explained it. The guys at the clubhouse were all friendly and fatherly, as most had kids of their own. They picked me up, placing me on their knees as they played cards, calling me their good luck charm. The women were doting, oftentimes playing with my hair or painting my nails when I came by.
On the wedding day, I watched as my mother, who was dressed like a princess, danced with her new husband in the garden at the club. They smiled sweetly at each other as they swayed to the music, James holding one of her hands over his heart as he gazed down at her. There was a clearing in the back, surrounded by woods, and picnic tables were set up with decorations, music, and a BBQ as everyone celebrated. I spent the first hour running from person to person, greeting everyone I’d met and befriended over the past few weeks with a giant grin, a hug, and then would scamper away to find someone else to talk to.
I stopped at one of the picnic tables and gulped down a water as I watched all the adults dance together. My legs swung off the edge of my seat, my feet not even close to touching the ground, and wished I could dance, too. As the idea came to me, I immediately looked around for Shay.
As great as he was at home, at the club, he tended to disappear with his friends. At that moment, I caught sight of him and his usual group of club buddies, sneaking off into the woods. I knew where they were going. On one of the visits to the club last week with Shay and James, I had followed him and, hidden amongst the trees and shrubbery, I watched as the teens hung out at a ramshackle looking shed farther back in the small forest, where they smoked smelly cigarettes and goofed off. I never told him that I knew where they went.
Seeing as I was all alone with no partner, I simply got up and marched out to the dancefloor by myself and danced along with the music. I had just started taking ballet lessons, but this wasn’t the right kind of melody for it. So, I swirled in a circle, my arms held out, loving how my frilly white dress flowed around me. When I got too dizzy and fell back on my butt, I saw the adults who were watching laugh in amusement, and I smiled sheepishly. I needed to work on being more graceful. Before I could get up, James appeared out of nowhere then, and scooped me up, balancing me on his hip, and led us into a quick-step. I giggled as he held one of my hands out like he had done with Mum, and clung on as we spun about together.
When the song ended, James leaned close to my ear. “Have you seen Shay?” he asked.
Yes, I thought. But for some reason, I sensed that the teens didn’t want the parents to know where they snuck off to, and my loyalty would always be to my new favourite person. “No,” I lied, one of the few times in my life.
James sighed and shook his head, but carried me off to the side where Mum was sitting, drinking a large glass of white wine and fanning her flushed cheeks. He handed me off to her, gave her a firm kiss, and headed inside the club with his three closest friends on his heels. I felt her body tense a little beneath me, and when I spun about in her lap, I caught sight of the frown on her red lips before she quickly plastered a wide smile on her face. “You look beautiful, Mummy.”
She squeezed me tightly and rocked us slowly side to side in her seat to the song that was playing. As much as she was smiling and chatting with everyone, however, I could sense some sort of unease about her, and didn’t know what else to do besides hug her back.
“Why don’t you go get yourself something to eat, hm?” Mum whispered.
“Okay. Do you want me to get you something, too?”
“No, thank you, honey.”
I slid off her lap and headed towards one of the tables laden with food, when several teenage girls around Shay’s age emerged from around the corner of the large, concrete warehouse that was the club. I recognized a few of them. They were pretty, wore a lot of makeup and tiny revealing dresses, but walked with a confidence that I couldn’t help but admire. They looked older than they were, and acted like it, too. I’d seen them with Shay’s friends and saw how they interacted with them… flirting, it was called. I had even seen them kissing some of the boys, like Cody and Aron. Yuck, I thought. Why any of those girls would willingly kiss one of those boys was beyond me. When they spotted me standing by the food table, they grinned and headed my way.