filling up Food Truck.
She walks around the
living room,
looking at Jonah’s cans of formula,
his machines, the O tubing
stretched along the floor.
Your father’s car is very loud,
I say from the recliner.
Isn’t there a law against that?
Since Rainie’s father
is a policeman,
she knows lots of ways
people get in trouble.
Hunter’s mom dropped me off.
There’s a hole in the exhaust
of their car.
She didn’t make it loud
on purpose,
Rainie says.
Ah, HUNTER,
I say.
Rainie says,
It’s not like that.
I like helping Sara out.
We made goat-milk soap today.
Who’s Sara?
I ask her.
Hunter’s mom.
Hey, how’d it go at court?
Did the judge make Clay’s father
get rid of his guns?
I pretend that Rainie asked me
three things about the trial,
and throw in a few extra.
The trial is not over.
Tomorrow is day two.
There’s no decision yet.
Mom’s not trying to get rid
of Clay’s father’s guns.
She’s trying to get money
to pay for Jonah’s care.
Rainie picks up Zombie Vest
and holds it up to herself
like she’s at Walmart
and trying to decide
whether to put it
in her shopping cart.
My dad said that’s
what the trial is about—
guns.
But yeah, it must cost a lot
for all the nurses and stuff.
Phoebe raises her eyebrows at me
and smiles
when Rainie says that.
There is something I’ve learned
in my one day at court—
no matter how plain
you make your truth,
not everyone will see it.
Headwater Courthouse Day Two
You don’t have to
sleep on the floor,
Rainie says that night,
and moves over
to make room
for me
in my bed.
I think about
getting up,
and going to the river,
to look for Clay,
but I’m pulled down into sleep
and don’t wake up
until the morning
of Day Two.
Sara is there
with her loud exhaust,
to pick Rainie up.
Good luck,
Rainie says,
and runs out the door.
I don’t know what
Good luck
she means,
but I say thanks.
Good luck
for Mom and Mom’s lawyer
to win?
Good luck
not to pass out
again?
Good luck
for taking away
guns?
Good luck
for a miracle
for Jonah?
Good luck
for Clay
coming back?
Elinor is here
to watch the house.
The phone has been ringing
with questions about the trial,
photographers taking photos
of Number 23 and Number 24,
newspeople knocking on the door.
Mom hands me
a box of cereal
to eat in the car,
like I’m a toddler.
She has on her Day Two outfit—
brown skirt, pale-yellow shirt.
My Day Two outfit:
Jonah’s black-and-yellow hockey jersey
comes halfway to my knees—
CARRIER on the back
in yellow,
like GARRETT—
a thin, shiny black belt,
and black leggings.
Above my bangs,
the rest of my hair
caught up
in a waterfall
like Phoebe’s.
Today GARRETT and I
are old friends—
he waves at me
and I wave at him—
both of us
black and yellow.
Mom’s lawyer
looks even more nervous
than yesterday.
He avoids looking at me.
Even though
“fainting in court”
wasn’t on the prohibited list,
I don’t think he’s happy
with my court behavior
yesterday.
Clay’s dad and Gwen
sit in the same chairs
as yesterday,
with a Clay-sized space
between them.
Is there a spray
in Clay’s father’s truck
that vaporizes bugz?
Would Clay use it on himself,
spraying one
body part
after the other,
timing how long
they take to disappear?
Would he start with his feet
or his head?
Since he has that science mind,
he’d know he needed
to save
his eyes
for last
to see what was gone
or not.
It’s a cloudy day and no sun
shines through the tall windows.
It feels cold in the courtroom
and I shiver in Jonah’s thin jersey.
When the rain starts,
it’s so loud against the windows
and on the metal roof
that Mom’s lawyer has to
raise his voice
to be heard.
First he shows
the “before” video
of Jonah
on a screen
up front.
Some of it’s blurry
because Jonah is moving—
shooting a puck, pole-vaulting,
catching a baseball in midair.
In the parts where he is still,
Jonah smiles at the camera—
the happy face
that made everyone
like him.
There’s one clip
in our backyard
where I’m hiding
from the camera
behind Jonah.
You can see my arms
and my hair
and the Kennebec River
behind us.
That is Jonah then.
This is
Jonah now,
Mom’s lawyer says.
And we have Jonah’s doctor
here,
to explain what I will be showing
in the video.
Dr. Kate
takes the stand,
and spells her name,
and takes the oath.
She holds her hands together
in front of her
like she is praying,
and waits,
like we all do,
for the movie
to begin.
Jonah After
The screen lights up
right in front of where
Clay’s father and Gwen
are sitting.
Mom’s lawyer
pauses the film,
to say
how the first image
was taken by the police
when Jonah came into the
emergency room.
His voice is suddenly drowned out
by the pounding of the rain
against the windows.
It’s as if all the water in the river
rose up and threw itself
at the courthouse.
Did Hunter’s mom, Sara,
predict this?
Headwater Courthouse is old
and this must happen
in big rains,
because when water starts dripping
in the right front corner
of the courtroom,
the security officer appears
with a bucket.
Please continue,
the judge says to Mom’s lawyer.
It’s easier for me
to listen to the rain