“Sorry! I’ll zip my lip. Promise.”
Chuckling, Christina shook her head. “You’re fine. Honestly, I’m just in a pissy mood. He got called out in the middle of the night for work and left. He knew I had to be back in Portland for practice, and he promised that he’d get me here. By ten o’clock, he still wasn’t back, and I couldn’t take a chance on missing practice. So, I had no choice but to call a cab.”
“He just left? He didn’t tell you where he was going or what he was doing?”
“I told you that he works in security. I honestly don’t know what his job is. Maybe he chases bad guys and dodges bullets.” She looked out the window as Amy continued to hurry down the road, that last thought not settling well even if she was angry. “You should’ve seen his coworkers that I met yesterday. These guys are huge. All ex-military-looking, secret-ops kind of guys. I know I probably watch too many movies, but these guys looked like the real deal.”
“Honey, when you told me he worked in security, I just thought maybe he installed systems in homes, you know, like ADT or something,” Amy said, pulling into a parking spot close to the concert hall.
They grabbed their instruments and music and hurried up the steps. “I know, that’s what I thought, too.”
Just as they arrived at the door, Amy reached out, placing her hand on Christina’s arm. “I know you’re upset, honey, but please, promise me that you’ll give Clay a chance to explain. I can tell you really like him. And maybe his job isn’t what you thought it was, but… well, just give him a chance.”
She looked down at her feet, worrying her bottom lip. Finally lifting her gaze, she admitted, “You should’ve seen the other women that were with these men, Amy. Beautiful, smart… but they all had something… oh, I don’t know. They all look like they could handle whatever these men might need from them. I’m just a musician.” Closing her eyes tightly, she shook her head, trying to clear her mind. Breathing deeply, she opened her eyes and said, “Ignore me. I’m tired, grumpy, and we have four hours of practice in front of us that I’m not looking forward to!”
“Afterwards, why don’t we get some wine?”
“Seriously? After I paid for that two-hour taxi ride, I don’t have enough spare money for wine.”
“Fine, then I’ll go buy a cheap bottle, and we can drink it at home.”
Throwing her arms around her best friend, they hugged. Grinning, she said, “It’s a date.” Pulling open the door, they hurried inside, racing down the hall to the stage.
Hours later, as Amy drove back to their apartment, Christina felt the pull of exhaustion and wondered how she could even keep her head upright. A lot of sex and very little sleep the night before combined with the anxiety and anger earlier that morning plus a long practice with the conductor who picked apart everyone’s performance had her close to tears.
“Oh, I think you’re going to need some privacy,” Amy said, her voice soft.
Opening her eyes, she turned toward Amy only to see her roommate staring out the windshield. Following Amy’s gaze, she looked in the same direction. There, leaning against his SUV, was Clay. “No. I’m not kicking you out just because Clay is here.”
Pulling into the parking space, Amy shut down the engine before turning toward Christina. “First of all, you’re not kicking me out. Second of all, I can easily crash at Carol’s place. Third, remember what I said? If you two are going to be a couple, you need to talk. He now knows about your band gigs, and you need to find out more about his job.”
Her chest depressed as air rushed from her lungs. “What if… what if I find out that I don’t like what he does? Or I don’t think I can handle it?”
Amy reached over and held her hand, giving a little squeeze. “Then you’ll know. It’s the not knowing, like this morning, that made you doubt.”
Nodding, she sighed. “You’re right. Thanks.” Climbing from the car, she grabbed her music and violin case and waved as Amy pulled out of the parking lot. Turning, she watched as Clay pushed away from his SUV and stood, waiting for her.
“I tried to call,” he said.
Lifting her chin, she held his gaze, uncertain how to read him. “We’re not allowed to have cell phones during practice.” She hesitated for a second, then added, “I missed your first call this morning, then saw your texts. I knew that you were safe, but I wasn’t really in the mood to talk.”
“I was worried. I have outside security cameras, so I knew you’d taken a cab, but I didn’t like not knowing where you were or what was happening.”
“Well, then, you had a taste of what I was feeling this morning.”
His brow lowered and he sighed. “I was at work, Christina. You knew that.”
“Yes, and you knew I was stuck at your house with no transportation and had to get back to the city. You leave in the middle of the night and then you don’t come back. Nor do you call to check on me or tell me how you are. I’m not trying to be whiny, or controlling, or a bitch, but I don’t really know what you do, Clay. This morning was an example of how it impacts me.”
They held each other’s gazes for a long moment, then finally he sighed and nodded slowly before jerking his head toward her apartment building. “You’re right. Can we talk?”
She threw her hands to the side. “We are talking.” He didn’t reply, and she pinched her lips together, regretting her snippy comment. “Yeah, I think that’d be a good idea. My roommate saw you and said she was going to visit some friends.” Leading the way, she climbed the steps and unlocked the door to her apartment. Moving inside, she set her belongings down and walked straight into the kitchen. Throwing open the refrigerator door, she said, “I can make sandwiches.”
“How about we just focus on us, and I’ll call out for pizza?”
It was on the tip of her tongue to snap that she couldn’t afford take-out pizza, but she knew Clay was going to pay, so that comment would be just as snippy as her previous quip. “Okay.” As he made the call, she grabbed two bottles of water and walked over to the sofa. Piling up on one end, she nodded toward the other and watched as he sat down, twisting his body to face her.
“I’ve got to start out and just say, Christina, that I don’t want to fuck this up. I really like you.”
Her shoulders drooped, fatigue still pulling. “I don’t want this to get fucked up either. I know my being in a Celtic band surprised you yesterday. I had my reasons, although now, they seem a little silly.”
“And I realize I’ve been too vague about my job. Honestly, I’ve never dated anyone long enough for me to really explain what I do. So I guess this is all new for me, too.”
Somehow, hearing that this was uncharted territory for Clay lightened her anxiety. Her lips quirked slightly, and she said, “So, who goes first?”
“We can do this however you want. I’m just glad you’re giving me a chance.”
She chewed on her lip for a moment and then blurted, “As soon as I saw you yesterday, I thought we were over.” Seeing his furrowed brow, she continued. “In the past, I either managed to date someone who’d met me through the orchestra or through the band. Not both. Depending on which, they formed an opinion about me based on their interpretation of the music. It’s stupid really, but there it is. Those who knew me through the orchestra hated the band.”