“It’s an amazing space. I put it in the book. The dimension where—” He stopped, then smiled ruefully as he lowered his hands. “Well, I should probably keep that secret so you can enjoy the story. You will beta read it for me, right?”
Jacob had been doing so well, but that question made him shut his eyes and draw a careful breath.
When he opened his eyes, Rasul stood in front of him, vibrant and focused.
“Jacob.” Rasul didn’t touch him, but Jacob felt caressed somehow, as if each word were Rasul divesting him of his armor. “I’m moved by what you said about me, how you put me on a pedestal and used that to get yourself through some tough times. But I’m not a god. I’m a real person who makes a lot of mistakes.”
He leaned in close enough that Jacob could feel his breath.
“I want to share those mistakes with you.”
Forget armor. Rasul was shedding his clothes from his body now, leaving him naked. Jacob stared at the bony edges of Rasul’s clavicle.
Thought about licking it.
Helpless, he lifted his gaze to Rasul’s eyes and held his breath. Was it his imagination, or was Rasul moving closer? Oh God, were they going to kiss, right here in his shop?
Please, yes.
Hypnotized, Jacob held still as Rasul leaned in, holding Jacob firmly in place with his gaze.
The chime of the door startled Jacob, but Rasul didn’t move, only put a hand gently to the wall beside Jacob’s head.
“Hellooo,” a cheerful elderly woman’s voice rang out.
Rasul’s hand stroked Jacob’s cheek. Then he pushed away and turned toward the front of the store. “Be right there,” he called to the customer before moving around the counter as, behind him, Jacob slid quietly to the floor.
Something told him Rasul had just shown him what he was like when he flirted in earnest. Jacob knew if this were true, he wouldn’t last more than ten minutes under such an assault.
Chapter Nine
RASUL WAS keenly aware the tables had been turned in his relationship with Jacob, and he couldn’t be happier.
Initially he’d intended to bring up their scotch-fueled table confessions and politely receive permission to proceed, but one glance at his would-be lover made it clear the last thing Jacob was ready to do was talk about his feelings, so Rasul changed his strategy of engagement. Jacob didn’t want to look at the sun directly? Rasul could work with that. It had been a long time since he’d started a relationship with a slow and steady approach, but he still knew the moves.
He loved the way every glance, every touch, every exchange felt different now. Before, he’d constantly dialed himself back in deference to Jacob’s wall, but now that he was on the other side, he didn’t attack the way he knew Jacob both longed for and feared. Now that he could swoop the man up anytime he wanted, he was going to milk this courtship—a real one this time—for all he could.
The near-kiss behind the checkout counter, thrilling as it had been, wasn’t his best move. He kept a clear berth from Jacob after that as they worked together until Gina came for her afternoon shift. When Jacob hinted Rasul should maybe go write, he instead declared he was going home to get a shower before class. There was zero chance of him making any words today.
His class picked up on his good mood right away, though. They teased him, and he let them, derailing their lessons a bit to tell stories from book tour days and answering questions about the publishing process. He redirected to the other published authors in the room, especially Meg, who brought some much-needed levity to their dreams.
“But seriously, what good thing happened to you?” Ben asked, grinning as if he already knew.
“Let’s just say I’m enjoying my relationship and leave it at that,” Rasul replied.
When he got home, he opened his laptop and did a quick check through social media, though he didn’t post—couldn’t, obviously, on Instagram. Two days ago he had posted on Twitter, apologizing for disappearing without notice and saying that he was on hiatus to finish his novel, and now his notifications overflowed with people encouraging him. There were also several Adinastans asking why he’d abandoned her, but there were even more people asking about his new relationship, wondering if that had worked out.
There was also a DM from Adina on Twitter.
Hey baby. Glad work’s going well for you. Wish I could say the same, but you know. Still think about you a lot. We make a great team. I mean, I know that relationship you say you’re in right now is fake.
His gut churning, he immediately called Elizabeth, even though it was late.
“This is unexpected,” she said by way of greeting. “What’s up?”
When he read her the message from Adina, she sobered.
“What does she mean, she knows your relationship is fake?”
“I don’t know,” Rasul replied, and he meant it. “It’s not fake.” Not anymore, anyway.
“That woman makes me nervous. Screenshot that and send it to me, then block her.”
Rasul’s gut twisted. “Seriously? Block her?”
She sighed. “Well, maybe not, you’re right. Jesus, she’s work. Okay, what about this. Because I’m all about protecting this momentum you have going. Would you allow me to manage your Twitter and Instagram for a while? Let me have the password so I can monitor it for you, including these DMs?”
God, that felt highly, highly intimate. “Um, there are some risqué DMs in our history.”
“I assumed. Look, I had straight sex once. It wasn’t great, but it didn’t traumatize me. I promise I won’t judge you. I may scan through it just to see if there’s a pattern or warning sign you’re missing, but I promise I’m doing all this to help you. I want you to finish this book for your own sake as much as mine. And I want you to keep dating this Jacob guy. You’re so much calmer and focused since you started seeing him. Don’t let Adina derail you.”
In the end he agreed to give her the passwords, so long as she swore not to change them. It made him super nervous, but it also relieved him. If he were to trust anyone with his account, it was Elizabeth.
After that, he didn’t go online at all, only to do research and check his mail, which he did with less and less frequency, except for his school account. It was weird, but also good. It also left him with even more time to read, but also time to ruminate on how best to move forward with his relationship with Jacob, which despite their mutual admission of feelings had remained in the same place as it had the night they drank scotch together.
One Wednesday afternoon, instead of going over to Jacob’s to work, he trudged through the cold afternoon drizzle to the store just past Moore Books: Engleton’s Fine Clothing. He had to pass the bookstore on the way, though, and he saw the blond employee in the window arranging things. She ducked away again at the sight of him.
Seriously, what was with that kid?
Rasul hadn’t been in the clothing shop before, but he regretted the lapse the second he stepped inside. It was elegant and soothing, full of wood paneling that seemed to be real wood, and carefully arranged displays that made him consider purchasing a breezy button-down even though his current wardrobe was nothing but ragged knit T-shirts and pullovers. They had those too, without the ragged part, of course, and Rasul was browsing the henleys and sweaters when Matt Engleton approached him with a polite, professional smile.