When it Works All the Rest is Just Noise
“Last round and we’re done,” Freddie says with a strain of exertion as he loads the massive cooler onto Thanos’ trunk. “Shit’s heavy,” he puffs out through a labored exhale.
Helping him load up my car which I lend them, Billy and Freddie, for their road trip, I put two fishing rods and other fishing paraphernalia next to the cooler. “I’ll get the tent.”
Freddie nods and we both head up the stairs to our apartment. We get back down with the last of the equipment in time for Casey to park next to my car. Their trunk lifts automatically, followed by Billy stepping out of the vehicle. He stretches then jogs around to the back to start unloading his stuff. “Yo, Brody, give me a hand, here.”
I help Billy with his camping crap first and then open the backseat door and release Isabella from the child-seat. I lift her above my head and say, “Hey, monkey. Missed you.” Bringing her down, she wraps her arms around my neck and clings like the truly adorable monkey she is.
Casey joins us, giving Freddie and me a kiss on the cheek.
“I still can’t believe you’re giving this idiot a break for three whole weeks,” I tease.
Billy squints at me. “Stop being a shit-stirrer, asshole.”
I put a hand to my mouth in utter feign dismay and scold him. “Language, Daddy.”
“You’re right, Liam. Maybe three weeks is too much,” Casey goes along playfully, then jabs Billy in the side before giving him a hug. “Just never forget that you won the wife lottery,” she says with a cheeky smile.
“Sure did.” Billy demonstrates his appreciation by kissing his wife like there aren’t two other adults and a toddler in proximity.
“I’d say get a room, but we need to get going,” Freddie says, closing Thanos’ trunk with a thud.
“Whoa, be gentle with my beauty,” I admonish.
Billy steps my way and slaps me on the back. “Thanks for lending us your car, man.”
I nod, communicating, anytime, anything for you guys. He then smiles at his daughter in my arms and opens his arms, motioning for her to climb over. Billy peppers kisses on Isabella’s bouncy curls.
By Freddie’s side, Casey watches her husband adoring their kid with a look that’s the epitome of what I want in my future. After I accomplish what I set for myself. In a year or so when I start my fellowship. Up until recently, I didn’t have a specific person in mind when I thought about the future. Now it’s more than clear. Anna. For a short moment, I see Anna with a little girl that’s her spitting image and it feels like someone sucker kicked me in the gut.
After Billy hugs his girls one more time and promises to drive safely and that he’ll call every night, and Casey nods and tells them to have the best time because the next time anyone disappears for three weeks it’ll be her, the guys turn to me.
“Hey man, you take care of yourself and enjoy. It’s a very special time.” Billy pats me on the back in a half hug, referring to my upcoming trip to South Sudan. “Beer first thing when we’re all back.”
“Six weeks. Damn.” Freddie shakes his head. “Don’t forget to leave the key with Creepy Ronald,” he says, referring to our very reliable yet very eccentric next-door neighbor who spends his days in underwear and a robe, game developing, grooming his pet tarantula, Miss Basil Exposition. Spying on his neighbors is his favorite past time. You know, your regular Joe.
“Take care and try to avoid stray bullets,” Freddie adds.
“I’ll do my best.”
“Excited?” Casey asks as the car’s rear disappears around the corner, taking my friends towards their ultimate road trip.
“Very much,” I say pensively. Many things occupy my mind these days. Too many things.
“It’s quite the adventure, at least according to how Billy describes it. He said that it’s even much more intense than the E.R most of the time.”
I nod, contemplating her words. “Yeah, I’m looking forward to it.” I send her a sidelong glance. “It’s one of those things I’ve wanted to do for a long time. It’s a different experience to everything I’ve known so far. There’s so much to give and gain from these assignments.”
“You have to take care of yourself. It’s not an easy environment, to say the least.”
I nod again, thinking about a call I had with a colleague that recently returned from the same place, the same site where I’ll be working in less than a week. It’s hard to understand the full extent of it until you get there and start working, he said. Not the first time I heard something along that vein.
“How does Anna feel about you leaving soon?” Casey asks, bringing me back to the current.
I twist my mouth, taking a deep breath. “Didn’t discuss it much.”
Her brows pull in. “You guys still together?”
“Case, we’re not together. We’re still friends, yeah.”
She raises a dubious brow.
“We just—it didn’t come up.”
Now she gives me a bullshit-much? look. “Didn’t come up? Really?”
I steer my stare sideways, having a sudden interest in the pavement. “It’s complicated.”
“Hey Liam,” she says in a tone that takes me back to my teens when mom was fed up with my crap and told me to get my act together. “Is it though? Complicated? Really?” She pauses, I’m guessing for dramatic effect. “It’s not complicated at all. The only complication I see is you overthinking things.”
I sigh. “I can’t have a serious relationship right now. I can’t have a repeat of what I went through with Cheryl, especially not with Anna. Maybe when I start my fellowship when things are more . . . structured.”
She drops her hand from her waist, dropping her argumentative stance altogether. “Anna’s quite a catch. I just hope you don’t wait too long and end up regretting it later.” She eyes me. “C’mere, you fool.” She gives me a hug with Isabella squashed between us. Isabella giggles in delight. “Take care.”
I kiss Isabella’s forehead. “See ya.”
My phone comes to life as I climb the stairs back home. Her name on the screen alone is enough to bring a smile to my lips. Not to mention the frisson that heats my lower region each time Vicky’s text to Anna pops into my head. The notion of Anna being in a “concupiscent state” messes with my head and my own concupiscence something fierce. “Hey,” I answer with a smile.
“Hey, hey, hey,” she sing songs.
“Someone’s happy,” I say over a chuckle. My smile is even larger now.
“Guess who got the loan?”
“That’s great news, congrats!”
“Celebration tonight at Poison and Wine, eight-ish. Please tell me you can make it. Pretty please.”
The prospect of seeing her tonight and this joyful version of her plasters that smile even deeper on my face. “Anna, sweetheart, no other place I’d rather be.”
“Yay! Okay then, I’ll see you there? I need to call my mom and my friends, oh and Je –the lawyer in charge of the sale. Byeeee!” I don’t think she managed to squeeze a breath through all that.