"I assume the headache is alcohol related?"
Calix frowned. Why would Del assume that? He'd never told him of the weird pact he'd made with himself about only drinking on those five days a year. Some things Del didn't need to know. It would only worry him or lead him to be there for Calix, and he didn't want that. The point was that he would be allowed to wallow. Without anybody else around. One more reason it had been so stupid to invite Rhett and celebrate Thanksgiving with him.
"Come on, Cal. Did you really think I hadn't noticed the pattern by now?" Del shook his head.
Calix sighed as he got up from his chair. "Yes, I had quite a bit to drink yesterday. You know it's not a habit."
"Of course I know that." Del's voice was not only impatient but frustrated as well. "That's why I mentioned the pattern. I assume you've made some kind of deal with yourself that you can only drink on those days, which I think is smart."
"You do?"
"With anyone else, I would've said it was a ridiculous notion, but not with you. Your self-discipline has always been both your biggest friend and your biggest enemy. You'll push through whatever is bothering you, but at the same time, you won't allow yourself to grieve and process. So doing it this way is the perfect solution for you."
"If you knew this, why did you invite me over?"
Del put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Because even though I knew you would refuse, I still wanted to offer. I'll never stop inviting you because you need to know you're welcome. Always. Hopefully, things will change, and there may be a time when you no longer feel this need to seclude yourself on those days. And when that day comes, I need you to remember the door was always open."
Much to his surprise, Calix's eyes grew moist. How had he ever gotten so lucky to find a friend in this amazing man? "Thank you."
"No. Don't you dare to thank me for this. This is friendship, and you would do the same for me."
Del pulled him close into one of those full-body hugs, and Calix held him right back, leaning on him for a few precious seconds. "It's okay," Del whispered in his ear. "You will get there, Cal. I promise you. And I'll be right here with you."
Cal suppressed the urge to say sorry and instead took a deep breath, allowing himself to absorb Del's love and concern for him. By the time they let go of each other, he felt better. "I'm okay."
"Yeah? Yesterday wasn't too bad?"
"No."
He hated lying to Del, but how could he tell him about Rhett? He couldn't tell him it was none of Del's business because it was. But Del would jump to conclusions—the wrong ones—and ask questions. And he didn't want questions or speculations. His friendship with Rhett was too…special. Besides, he'd have to talk with Rhett first. He would never betray him by breaking his promise to keep their relationship quiet.
Del studied him for a few more seconds, then nodded. "Good. Anyway, I wanted to get your thoughts on this proposal."
The rest of the day passed in blissful silence. If only the West Wing were this quiet and empty every day, Calix would actually manage to get through all his work. Around five, he'd done enough. He'd caught up on his email, read through a few reports that needed his attention, and had reorganized his to-do list. He'd delegated what he could and had made a list of what he had to do himself. Job well done.
He shut down his computer, grabbed his stuff, and then headed over to the residence. Del had invited him for dinner, and after snubbing him the day before, he could hardly refuse. Besides, it would be a good diversion. He was looking forward to catching up with Milan.
In the hallway, Frank, the head of the president's Secret Service detail, stopped him. "Going up to the residence?"
Calix nodded. Of course Frank would know he was coming over. Very little escaped the man, thankfully.
He followed the voices drifting from the second floor, where the living room was situated. Their German shepherd, Rogue, bounded to Calix with happy barks, and Cal crouched to pet him. Rogue had lost his right hind leg after a car accident and had been brought to a shelter. Del had said he'd taken one look at the animal and decided to bring him home. Calix scratched behind Rogue's ears and got several enthusiastic licks in return.
Sarah's laughter caught him off guard, but by god, he loved it. He hadn't heard her sweet giggles in far too long. He had been so worried about her, and her happiness meant the world to him. He walked in, a greeting on his lips, but came to a sudden stop.
Del and Sarah sat on the couch, huddled close together, gazing at each other with love. If they'd been a cartoon, little red hearts would have floated above their heads. Pain stabbed through him, but as quickly as it had come up, he shoved it down. This was his trauma. His pain. He wouldn't show them he was hurting.
"Cal," Del said. "Come on in. Rhett was just finishing up."
Rhett? Rhett was here too? Calix's heart skipped a beat. He slowly turned. Rhett was pressed against the wall with his camera, probably to get the best angle.
"Hi," he said. Damn, had that come out as awkwardly as it had sounded to his own ears?
"Hey, Calix," Rhett said back, avoiding his eyes.
Good lord, the two of them really had to get better at pretending they weren't more than colleagues.
"Let's get those last shots in," Del said. "I don't know what Chef Morgan is cooking, but it smells amazing."
"I've got enough." Rhett lowered his camera.
Del frowned. "I thought you said you wanted a few more of us on the couch."
"I think the ones I already have will work, Mr. President."
Calix furrowed his brows. Why was Rhett protesting? Was he insecure about working in front of Calix? That made no sense. He'd done enough photo ops with Calix present. Then why would he…?
It hit. Del and Sarah had been all lovey-dovey, and Rhett remembered what Calix had told him about how hard that was for him to see. God, would he ever stop being amazed at how sweet this man was?
"Are you sure?" Del asked.
"I can wait," Calix said. It was the best he could think of to let Rhett indirectly know he was okay with it.
But Rhett nodded, his mouth in a firm line. "Absolutely, Mr. President. I'll leave you to your dinner."
Calix caught Sarah studying him, then looking at Rhett and back to him again. He fought to keep his face blank. Had she figured out the relationship between Rhett and him had changed? This whole situation was a disaster waiting to happen. How the hell had he ever thought he could pull the wool over the eyes of those two? They knew him better than anyone.
"Why don't you stay for dinner, Rhett?" Sarah said sweetly.
Rhett almost dropped his camera. "Excuse me, ma'am?"
"From what I remember, Levar is still in Delaware with Henley, right? So you'd be all on your own at home. We'd love to have you join us."
She said the last words with her eyes on Calix, then winked at him. He wanted to groan in frustration. Dammit all to hell, she'd already picked up on the weirdness between him and Rhett.
As if to make it even more obvious, Rhett stared at Calix, then seemed to catch himself and jerked his head back to the first lady. "I'm… Thank you, ma'am. It's not needed. I mean, you don't have to feel sorry for me. I'm fine by myself."