“Yep,” he says with a smile.
“Wait here.” I run to my purse and grab a twenty to tip him. “Thank you.” I hand him the bill. “Hopefully this is the last time since Ryan will be home at the end of next month.”
The kid doesn’t confirm or deny, just smiles and thanks me.
As I close the door, eyeing the package, it hits me. Ryan will be home next month. We’ve almost made it. Then another thought occurs, this one morbid. What if Ryan has another box waiting to be delivered in case something happens to him? I shake the thought off and go upstairs to open my package, unsure of the reason for it.
Inside the box are two envelopes. One reads: open me first, so I do. It’s a letter.
Happy Anniversary!
I know… I know… technically we don’t have an anniversary since we’re not together, but this week is one year since you stumbled into the beach house, and my heart, for the first time, felt like it found its home. Growing up I knew I was adopted. My parents were always honest about it. But I never felt like I was adopted. My parents and sisters loved me like I was their own flesh and blood, but as I got older I felt different. I would see them with each other and I craved the connection and contentment they found in one another.
So, fresh out of high school, I married my best friend. She needed me and I was hoping to feel the connection my parents feel when they’re together. Only, I didn’t feel it at all. Not an ounce of what they felt. For a long time I thought, even though my parents told me blood doesn’t mean anything, maybe they were wrong. Maybe what I felt was genetic. My biological parents clearly had trouble connecting with others. From what I was told, their relationship was toxic and they had no idea how to even begin to love their own child.
I was afraid I was like them, and the thought scared me so much I spent as much time as possible away from home. The more I was away, the less chance I had to fuck it all up. I used the military as my escape. I was searching for something that, at the time, I didn’t know wasn’t out there. Eventually Laura had enough and asked for a divorce. She deserved more than what I was able to give her, so I gave it to her, and then I took off on another deployment, and then another.
It wasn’t until you walked through the door that night, I finally realized what I was searching for couldn’t be found because what I was searching for all along was you. Your heart, your smile, your touch. It’s everything I was searching for but didn’t know how to find. The sucky part was knowing that even though I finally found you, I had to let you go. Walking away from you at the end of our time together was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But I did it for you. Because I knew, even though you were everything I needed, I couldn’t be who you needed.
Of course fate was on my side, and nine months later I found out you were carrying my baby. It confirmed what I already knew. You’re mine. Go ahead and open the other envelope now. I can’t make any promises, but… well, just open it.
Miss you and RJ.
Xo Ryan
I open the other envelope to find a one-week cruise for two for July inside. It stops at several islands and all the off-shore excursions have been booked. According to the itinerary we’ll be spending four days snorkeling, scuba diving, and touring the different islands. It’s a dream vacation for anyone who loves the ocean, which is why he bought it.
He can’t make any promises, my ass. This is the definition of promise. That he’ll be home in time to go on this cruise with me. I try not to get too excited, but deep down, I’m squealing, and for the first time since he left, I’m feeling like maybe this story will have a different ending than the one with Ian.
I smile to myself at the memory of all the packages. With Ryan coming home in a little over a week, this has to be the last package. I find the note and read it.
Micaela,
I saw this bracelet and thought of our time together on Balboa Island. I can’t wait to be home so we can make new memories. I know I said no promises, but it’s time to make them now. I’m heading home this week, and I’m coming for you, baby. So, be ready. Because I have months of missing you to make up for.
Xo Ryan
I grab my phone to text Ryan and see there’s a text from him. Caught up in my memories, I must not have heard it.
Ryan: Packed and ready to get the hell out of here. Another compound is having a mechanical issue, so my squad and I are heading up there before we leave. It doesn’t have service like I do here, since it’s at a higher altitude, so if you don’t hear from me, don’t freak out. I’ll text when I can. Give RJ a kiss from me. Love you and see you soon.
Even though there’s a chance he won’t get it, I still send him a text back.
Me: Thank you for the bracelet. I love it and can’t wait to make memories with you. I love you and I’ll see you soon. Be safe. xo
It’s the first time I’ve texted the words, and I almost consider deleting them, but the truth is I mean them, and once Ryan is home with RJ and me where he belongs, I’m going to say them in person.
And that’s when it hits me, Ryan is coming home. We made it. And an idea strikes. I’ve put off moving into the house he bought for me, afraid of living in it alone, but now that he’s coming home, I want to move in. He mentioned on a couple different occasions that he would love for the three of us to live together. He’s given me all these gifts. What better gift for him than to be living in the home when he gets here. I can get his stuff from the guesthouse and have my dad and Bentley help me move everything in so it’s ready when Ryan gets home next week.
“C’mon, little guy,” I say to RJ, who is crumpling the wrapping paper in his fists. “Your daddy will be home soon. Let’s go make sure he has the perfect home to return to.”
Ryan
“Fuck, I’m ready to go home,” Julian, one of the guys in my squad, complains, handing me the electrical wiring. “My daughter’s birthday is next week and I had my wife book us a trip to Disney.” It’s been four days since we got here. With the outpost located at an altitude of fifteen thousand feet, it’s extremely remote. While we can communicate with command, our personal electronics and internet don’t work at all up here. I can’t imagine having had to spend the last four months without talking to Micaela and RJ. No pictures or videos, no texts. I would’ve gone mad.
“Maddy wants to visit every princess there is,” Julian adds with a sigh.
I smile at him and continue to fix the frayed wire to the sensor, imagining what it will be like when RJ is old enough to go on trips, like to Disney. My parents used to take my sisters and me all the time. We would spend hours waiting in the long lines to go on every ride and they would always buy us ice cream to eat while we waited so we wouldn’t complain. I can’t wait to experience everything with RJ as his dad.
“Hey, Cruz,” Sergio, another guy from my squad, calls over. “The motion detectors are acting up.”
“Did you check the—”
Before I can finish my sentence, a howling scream with a violent explosion crashes near me. The violence of the shock rattles me, and I’m instantly on the ground, screaming, “Incoming!” But I can’t hear my own voice.