“What the hell!” I yelled furiously.
“Didn’t mean to scare you.” There was a faint smile on his lips.
“What are you doing out here?”
“I was walking.”
I lifted a brow skeptically at him. “Of course you were.”
I unlocked the door and stepped into the house. I could vaguely smell this morning’s bacon in the air as I made my way across the foyer and to the stairs, ignoring the figure walking behind me. He was following me. I stopped midway up the staircase and turned around.
“Do you need anything?” I asked, looking down at him.
“Nope,” he answered casually.
I sighed and continued up the stairs to my bedroom. He followed, of course.
“Does your mom usually work so late?” It was quarter to eight and she wasn’t home.
“She teaches a sewing class Thursday nights,” he said, entering after me and shutting the door. I tried not to pretend I wasn’t nervous as hell being alone in the same room as him. After all, we did sleep in the same room last night.
I set my purse on the dresser and grabbed my bum clothes from my suit case. I changed in the bathroom, making sure the door was locked and took my time while I wondered what he wanted.
When I walked out, he was seated on the edge of the bed. He was in the same clothes from this morning, and under the direct bedroom light I noticed stubble growing in. Absentmindedly I thought he’d look damn good with a beard.
“You should be in better clothes for bed than that,” he remarked, eyeing my oversized sweater and baggy pants.
I shrugged. “They’re comfortable.”
“You used to sleep in hardly anything at all.”
“That’s because I had you pressed up against me to keep me warm all night.” I closed my eyes and winced at my words. Did I just say that? When I opened them again, he looked irritated.
“What is it, Jaxon?”
“Did you tell him?” I didn’t have to wonder what he was referring to.
I nodded. “Yeah, I told him.”
With a look that was bordering hopeful, he asked, “And because he isn’t here, does that mean he left you?”
Now it was my turn to be irritated. “Is that what you’d like to happen?”
“Fuck yes,” he said adamantly.
“You wanted him to break up with me?”
“Absolutely.”
“Did you sleep with me on purpose then? To break us up?”
“No, that just happened.”
“Do you regret doing it?”
He looked at me bewilderedly. “No, I don’t. I’m assuming because you’re asking then you must regret it. Is it because he left you?”
“He didn’t leave me.” My whole body was exhausted, but I didn’t want to be on the same bed as him. I relaxed my back against the wall beside the bathroom instead.
“So I was right. He’s so pussy whipped he’ll take you no matter what–”
“Stop being an asshole. Daniel’s not pussy whipped. He just cares about me and what we have is complicated and–”
“And you want him that badly, huh?” His eyes went dark with anger. “Is it the status? ‘Oh, I’m with a lawyer. We’re a power couple.’”
“Don’t mock me! I’m not like that.”
“You were like that five years ago–”
“Yes, was! As in past tense, Jaxon. As in I’m not like that anymore and haven’t been for years!”
“What, have you changed for this Daniel guy?”
“No!”
“Then what’s so fucking special about him? What’s he doing for you?” The questions were flooding out of his mouth heatedly, and both his fists clenched together as his anger steadily rose. “What part of you have you reserved for him that you couldn’t reserve for me–”
“I haven’t reserved any part of me for him!” I interrupted, feeling my own face heat up.
“Then what’s so great about him that you easily threw away over a mindless, regrettable root?”
I grimaced. “He helped me! He… made me feel less lonely, alright?”
“How?” he growled.
“By fucking, alright? That’s how!” When his face paled, I couldn’t understand why those words would even get to him. “What do you care anyway? You’re out rooting around all you want. Like you said, you can find hotter girls than me that’ll do whatever the hell you want. Voyeuristic, you said, and that’s all after you told me I hit my peak. So why don’t you just get up and go find yourself some slut to slide into?”
He did get up, and that sent daggers to my heart that he was actually going to do what I told him to. But he just stood there, glaring down at me.
“Well go on then!” I goaded him.
“That desperate to get rid me again, huh?” His words were pained and tormented by a heavy sadness that made my chest tighten.
“I wasn’t desperate to get rid of you–”
“You left me!” he shouted, pointing at me as his face reddened. “So fucking desperate to get away that you were too much of a fucking coward to tell it to my face!”
“That’s not why!” I hollered back, feeling hot tears fall down my face. My whole body shook as remorse flood me.
“Why should I believe you? Your word’s shit to me! You left me! You said you never would–”
“I would have destroyed us if I’d stayed! You know it too! I wouldn’t have had the strength to tell it to your face. You wouldn’t have let me go if I did!”
“And what’s so fucking wrong with that?”
“Because I was a monster, Jaxon! I was evil. You deserved better!”
“That wasn’t for you to decide.” His voice broke and he turned away from me, looking in the opposite direction with hands raking through his hair. His chest heaved up and down, and I could hear the heavy breaths escape his mouth as he kept his back to me.
I crossed my arms, suddenly frozen to the core. “I did what was best for you. Look at what became of you. You got what you dreamed of.”
“At what cost?” He looked over at me, fiery eyes and curled lips. “You think you can have it your way all the fucking time. You didn’t give me a better life by walking away.”
“Look at you–”
“I look at me every fucking day!” He interrupted, raising his voice again at a deafening rate. “You killed me more than you saved me!”
“You’re a liar!” I snapped back, tears blurring my vision. “You were happy after I left!”
Those fiery eyes turned into a storm as he stalked to me. “You’re fucking crazy.”
“Why am I crazy?”
“How the fuck would I have been happy when you walked out on me–”
“I know you were–”
“I gave you every fucking piece of me!” Now he was standing in front of me, leaning down at my level. I could feel his hot breaths against my face and see the veins protruding from his neck. “I gave you my heart and you tore it to pieces. Abandoned me, left me to rot while you disappeared off the face of the earth. You were gone when I needed you the most! You never came back in five fucking years–”