“You sure you want me to take you to Jaxon’s?” I nearly jumped at Damien’s deep voice. I looked over at him, seated comfortably behind the wheel of the car. It then occurred to me I might be sitting beside a murderer.
“Where else would you have me go in this wonderfully safe town?” I sarcastically asked.
“Home,” he stated simply.
“What home are you referring to?”
“Winthrop, Sara. Just say the word and we’ll grab your shit and go back to your safe world.”
I looked at him perplexedly. “You’re supposed to follow Jaxon’s commands.”
“There are exceptions.”
I was silent for a while.
The car finally slowed to a stop in front of a tall, luxury apartment building. Damien kept the car running, patiently waiting with his eyes forward for my direction. My body was pushing for me to open the door and get out, to go to Jaxon’s apartment and wait for him to join me. But my mind was scattered like the rain that had started up again, pelting the car softly.
I let out a slow breath, gripping the seat with a hand on either side.
“That man that attacked me,” I started slowly, looking out into the quiet dark street. “Did you kill him?”
“Yes.” The answer came so quick, I almost thought it was my imagination.
I discreetly looked over at him, even though I’m sure he could feel the intensity of my gaze. “Because Jaxon told you to.” I was mindful to make that into a statement. I didn’t need clarification. It was apparent. Still, I had to say it, almost like I needed to hear myself clarify my worst fear.
“The man was spineless. He didn’t deserve to live, so I’m not carrying too much guilt. Still, I’m not going to tell you the others were just as dirty.”
“O-Others?”
He exhaled, drumming his fingers along the steering wheel before he turned his dark stare on me. “I’m giving you the option to get out of this, Sara, because I know you’re smart. You’re better than this kind of life. You think you’ll be in an exclusive relationship with Jaxon? That he won’t be with other women while he’s with you?” I opened my mouth to respond, but he shook his head. “Don’t speak. Listen.”
The rain picked up, and with the interior car light on, the outside world looked like a black hole we were sucked up in.
“I’m not going to deny he loves you. He does. I’m sure he wants all the things you want too. But he’s part of the Scorpions now. Which means everything that’s his is theirs, too. Do you understand what I’m saying? Answer me.”
“Yes,” I whispered, fighting the tremble of my lips.
“Do you know what that would mean if you were his?”
“That-that I’d be theirs, too.”
He gave me a single nod. “Exactly. Just as they expect to have a piece of you, they demand of him to have a piece of their women just as well. There is no way out of this, Sara. Once you’re in, you can’t get out.”
It felt as though I were divided into two beings: one burning up bright for a man I wanted with everything inside of me, and the other who was clutching her shattered heart in her hand knowing there was no way I could go forward with this.
“Why are you telling me all of this?” It didn’t make sense for him to go against the loyalty of his men to warn me of how horrid they were.
“Because you have a choice, but you don’t have a lot of time to make it.” I didn’t realize my hand was shaking until his large hand wrapped around it.
“If this is how it is, what made you join?” I asked him.
He laughed bitterly. “I didn’t have the luxury of choice.”
“You were forced?”
“No, but it meant something worse if I didn’t.” I wanted to ask what, but when his face contorted to sadness, I decided not to pry.
I wondered why fortune smiled upon me at critical times. I certainly didn’t feel deserving of it. When I starved as a child, I was taken in by Lucinda. When I was lonely, Jaxon befriended me. When I didn’t have a job, one found me. Twice. And now this. A warning that held the weight of my future in its grip. Without Damien’s brutal honesty, I’d have blindly trusted Jaxon. I’d be in the apartment that very moment having no clue what I would be getting myself into.
“Home,” I breathed out before my wants could convince me otherwise. “Take me home.”
Twenty-Three
Tears fell from my eyes as we drove past the building. On our way to Lucinda, I idly consoled myself that at least I’d tell her goodbye this time. I didn’t imagine she’d want an explanation. The writing was on the wall.
Maybe Jaxon and I were destined to be star crossed lovers. We’d gone five years without each other and we survived, albeit with bleeding hearts. Still, we survived. We would survive again.
I stuffed the voice inside of me that screamed, I don’t just want to survive! I want to love and be loved! I want to be happy! I want him!
Conflicted, I reminded myself that he was a changed man, and a part of something I couldn’t be part of. There was no way it was going to work. There was no way I was going to sit back and let those women feel entitled to him. Just thinking of that and of Jade Smith fueled my decision even more. His excuse for even touching her and…
It hit me. A particular thing he said tonight. I knew what I was doing, and I could have walked away. I didn’t, though. At that point you’d moved on and I was trying to forget you.
What the fuck? How had he known I’d moved on?
“Damien--” I started and then screamed, terror rippling through my being in a nanosecond.
The impact happened in slow motion, yet it must have only been a few seconds long. The car head lights coming at his side; the screeching of brakes; the loud booming of metal against Damien’s door; the pain of my neck jolting to one side as my head cracked sharply against the window; the eerie silence that followed.
Dizzy and confused, I opened my eyes. Had I been unconscious? There was a loud ringing in my ears, and a mind numbing pain so great in the side of my skull. I opened my mouth to scream. Maybe I did. Or maybe it was just a whispery groan.
Something moved. The door? I fell to the side, but didn’t land on the ground. Water coated me and hands grabbed at me, and for a second I thought I was being rescued from the crash scene. Until I looked up, blinking away the rain, and saw a face in a balaclava mask.
I screamed again. Yes, it was a definite scream this time because it broke through the ringing of my ears and echoed in the empty streets. Flailing my body around, another pair of arms wrapped around my legs and I was in the air. I experienced the terror of my life when I saw a dark van; doors were opened, one dull interior light on, and me moving toward it. Trepidation multiplied as I realized I was going in it.
I was being taken.
I screamed and cried until I felt the bottom of the van. Voices littered the air around me, nothing comprehendible in my dizzied state. Then a sharp pain in my arm that had me falling quickly into a state of unconsciousness.
*****
I opened my eyes. For a moment, I feared I’d gone blind until my sight adjusted to the inanimate objects around me.