Something she shouldn’t have been feeling toward me.
You feel the fucking same, you sick fuck.
“Tell me about that dream you had last night,” I encouraged, caressing her body gently, not wanting to push her away.
“My dream?” she asked as I lifted my head to look at her.
“Yeah. You didn’t tell me exactly what happened.”
“You kissed me,” she said quietly and with a shy undertone.
“I did? On the cheek?” I asked, brushing back a strand of hair that had fallen out of her braid.
“No,” she whispered, her cheeks turning bright red.
“Where did I kiss you in that dream, Ves? It’s okay to tell me. It was just a dream.”
“I guess. It just felt so real. I shouldn’t be dreaming about you kissing me. It’s wrong.”
I frowned. “A kiss is not wrong. I give you kisses all the time, right? And so does Papa.”
“But you’re—”
“There’s nothing wrong with you dreaming about me kissing you. Isn’t that a sweet thing to dream about? It shows that you see and accept my affection. Makes me happy that you know,” I told her with a smile.
She looked unsure, and the more she thought about my words, the deeper her frown got.
I kept looking at her face overcome with emotions, and before she could think too much into that dream she had, I placed both hands on her cheeks and turned her head to make her look at me.
Without saying a word, I pulled her closer and pressed my lips onto hers gently, and as quick as our lips touched, they parted again.
“Here, see? It’s just a kiss. Harmless.”
Her eyes were wide, sparkling with agitation mixed with joy.
“It was just a dream, sweet girl. Don’t let your mind deceive you so damn much.”
She nodded, and through all the confusion that lingered on her face, she smiled.
“Let’s head back outside, hm? I’m sure Jason’s got the quad and chainsaw ready for us.”
I got up and brushed my hand along the side of her face to tug the loose strand of hair behind her ear, then nodded toward the front door with a smile.
Sick fuck.
Sick fuck.
Sick fuck, and you damn well know it.
14
November
Building the cabin didn’t take long at all.
It was surprising seeing it stand there in our camp all steady and pretty after Papa had only worked on it for a few weeks.
To be fair, Fennec and I helped out a lot, but it was mostly Papa staying up late to continue working on the cabin.
It often didn’t let me sleep as he used Jason’s chainsaw a few times in the middle of the night, or the wood grinder Fennec and I had to go grab from Jason’s just a few days after we got the quad and chainsaw.
It was also a good thing Papa finished the cabin this early, as the snow had already arrived in the first days of this month.
Winter was coming, and up here in the mountains, white was all we saw.
The past few weeks had been…interesting.
As close as Fen and I were, he seemed to have taken a few steps back to let me enjoy the time with Papa, and the less he talked to us, the more I talked to Papa.
Most nights, I had turned away from Fennec, and although he still insisted that I’d sleep with the rope around my wrist, he hadn’t talked about me sleepwalking anymore.
There were dreams I kept having, the same ones occurring multiple times a week, yet I didn’t tell him about them.
They weren’t as vivid as the first ones I had when I arrived here, and it seemed as if Fennec’s distance was the reason for that.
I hated it.
As strange and scary as those dreams were, I wanted to have them again.
I wanted to feel him again.
See where they’d take me and how far we’d go in those dreams.
I was outside, shoveling the snow around the camp and creating a barrier for potential visitors.
I’ve seen many hares around camp since the snow fell, and instead of their usual gray fur, they were all white now.
Perfect to camouflage into the snow and keep hunters away.
They weren’t safe from us though, because with them smelling all the food we cooked, they moved closer to camp and made it fairly easy for us to either trap or shoot them.
More squirrels came around as well, and ever since I started picking nuts from trees in the past months, I laid them out in a trail leading to my new trap.
One I built just for fun, but it worked insanely well.
“Saw a black bear down by the river. Seems like they’re not into hibernating this year,” Fennec announced as he stepped closer to camp.
“Why didn’t you shoot it?” I asked, looking over at him.
We were all wearing multiple layers now to stay warm out here.
I loved the winter, and sleeping on the bear fur Papa pulled out of his tent was even more comfortable than sleeping on just the mattress.
“Didn’t have anything on me.”
“You should’ve had something on you. Always have to,” Papa told him in a murmur.
He was sitting by the fire, sewing together pieces of fabric to create small curtains for his cabin.
It didn’t take up much space, as it wasn’t too big, but it was enough for him to sleep in and store all of our food and clothes.
“I couldn’t have pulled it up here on my own, and leaving it there would’ve easily attracted other animals.”
“You should have weapons on you in case you get attacked,” Papa replied, turning his head to look at Fennec.
“I was careful,” he sighed, placing the canister filled with water next to the fire. “At least we have more water now.”
“What’s for dinner?” I asked, wanting to change the subject but also ease the tension between them.
My hopes of them getting along again were lost, because even after these months, they were still acting strange around each other.
“Got some leftover meat from lunch,” Papa answered.
I nodded and turned back to scoop up more snow, shoving it aside and then leaning the shovel against the tree trunk closest to me.
A sharp pain made me place my hand against my lower belly, sighing at the recognition of that feeling.
My menstruation had always hurt, but luckily not so much that I had to use painkillers.
It was annoying, especially in the winter.
Papa had promised to create an actual toilet next to the cabin where I could change my pads whenever I needed to without having to stand in the cold.
“You okay, Ves?” Fennec asked, and when I turned to look up at him, he was standing closer to me than before.
“Yeah, cramps,” I told him with a crooked grin.
His eyes moved to my hand on my belly, and when he looked up, he puckered his lips. “Need something against the pain?” he asked.
This wasn’t the first time I got my period out here.
“No, it’ll go away in a few hours. But I think I’ll go lay down a little if that’s okay?”
“Of course. I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.”
I smiled at him and nodded, then headed up the ladder to lay down for a while.
I didn’t hear them talk much, but them being quiet was better than having them fight over something stupid.