He was probably right, and so I chewed on it, not thinking too much about what I was eating.
“Good girl,” he praised, cutting another piece for me. “It’s Christmas soon, and I’m sure Mama will prepare a nice meal with things you love and can’t find in the wilderness. But out here…this is what you get. No reason to fight it, sweet girl.”
15
My period was lasting longer than usual, and I had joked to myself about all the raw meat Fennec made me eat being the reason why I was losing even more blood.
I did feel stronger and healthier though, knowing that all that meat gave my body what it needed.
The pain hadn’t left but it wasn’t as strong as the first few days, but constantly having to change pads was starting to annoy me.
I was about to head down the ladder to go grab a fresh pad out of Papa’s cabin when Fennec climbed up with a frown on his face.
“You should be sleeping by now,” he told me.
It wasn’t late, and although I had gone to bed earlier than usual this evening, I couldn’t imagine it being past midnight.
“I need to go change,” I told him, pulling my knees up against my chest.
It was getting colder each day, and winter was slowly taking over fall’s place.
“Lay back,” he ordered, moving closer as he pulled the curtain we hung up over the opening so the cold air wouldn’t hit us directly at night.
“But I have to change or else my pants will get all dirty and bloody.”
He didn’t reply.
Instead, he moved over me, making me stretch out my legs again before he sat down on my belly.
“Fen…I don’t want the blankets to get dirty.”
“Don’t worry about that,” was his answer, and when I realized what he was doing, I sighed.
“I haven’t sleepwalked ever since that first time. You don’t have to keep tying me.”
“But you would’ve if you weren’t tied, Vespyr. Trust me. You woke me multiple times in the past few days.”
“I did?”
He laughed and nodded while he tied the rope around my wrist. “Good thing I’m such a light sleeper or else you’d be somewhere out there, lost.”
“I didn’t get far last time,” I pointed out.
“No, you didn’t. Because I was out there hunting anyway and luckily saw you wandering around.”
I studied his face as he focused on the knots he was tying around my wrist, and when he was done, he moved back down, gripping the hem of my sweater and pushing it up.
“What are you doing?”
Of course, he didn’t respond, and history was slowly starting to repeat itself.
Was I awake? Because this was starting to feel like one of those stupid fever dreams again.
But just like he told me before…when life feels like one, don’t wake up.
Hell, no idea how I could wake myself up when I wasn’t even sure if this was reality.
One thing I automatically did was to not fight back anymore or try to figure everything out.
I was too tired to, and with Fennec being the one doing all these weird and off-limits things to me, I didn’t even have the strength to stop him.
My eyes started to feel heavy again, and they closed as Fennec’s hands tugged at my pants without ever warning me about what he was going to do.
That night a few days ago he was obviously not afraid to show me that my blood wasn’t any different than the one from animals, and I still fought my thoughts about whether what happened was real.
My brain was playing tricks on me.
“You have to eat more meat,” Fennec growled, and only now I felt him pulling down my pants and tights.
“You’re losing too much blood, sweet girl. I’m worried about you,” he whispered, his voice filled with worry.
“I’m fine,” I told him, opening my eyes again and seeing him between my legs, propped up on his right elbow.
“What are you doing?” I asked again, unsure if my words actually came out of my mouth.
“I heard there are ways to stop the pain. Let me make you feel better,” he told me, slowly pulling at my panties.
My body started to shake from the cold air hitting my bare skin, and I tried to squeeze my thighs together, not wanting to catch an infection.
“Keep those legs apart, Vespyr. I’ll make the pain go away. Close your eyes,” he demanded, but I was hesitant.
“Am I awake?” I asked, but again, it felt as if I wasn’t even speaking. My mind was blurry, and my thoughts unclear.
What the hell is this place doing to me?
“I don’t think you should—”
But it was too late to stop him.
His fingertips brushed along my swollen folds, sending sparks to the little nub of nerves that was more sensitive than ever when I was on my period.
My eyes closed and my body relaxed as I let my mind choose if this was just a dream or not.
Fennec told me to not let my mind deceive me so damn much, but how could I not when it felt as if it made me think the right thing?
I felt his warm breath against my pussy, slowly warming me again while the cold surrounded the rest of my legs.
I fisted my hand around the rope and gripped my sweater with my other, needing some type of security while Fennec was down there.
He surely could smell all my blood covering not only the pad but also my folds, and I felt it flow out of me slowly.
At this point, saying something would only cause echoes in my mind, so I kept quiet and my eyes closed, intriguingly awaiting where this dream would take me this time.
My breathing was calm, yet, the excitement inside of me was growing with each breath I took.
Everything that happened that had Fennec involved turned into something strange, but I would’ve been lying saying I didn’t like it.
This, whatever this was, was us.
It’s always been like this, and it’s always been us.
His fingers felt warm against my sensitive skin, and the more he caressed the outside folds, the more I hoped for him to push them inside the way he had done that night.
He was exploring my body, but I knew this wasn’t the first time he had gotten this close to a vagina.
He must’ve had his fun with a few of those girls in high school, and if he didn’t, I was sure he’s watched videos on the internet before.
All boys did it in school, and even girls.
Hell, I did it once, but after getting caught by Mama, I never looked up porn ever again.
It wasn’t something I felt uncomfortable with, because sex was normal.
It wasn’t something people should feel bad about watching or doing, so how wrong was it really to have Fennec touch me down there?
I clearly wanted it.
My mind wanted it, and the more I dreamed about it, the more I accepted it.
His breath tickled against my skin, and I knew he was moving closer.
I didn’t dare to open my eyes, scared to wake up or realize I hadn’t been dreaming.
But as my mind liked to play tricks on me so much, I could see us laying there, him between my legs and me tied up with no way to move or escape.
“I want you to relax, sweet girl. Let me make the pain go away,” his low voice whispered.
I saw myself nod, and seconds later, his lips pressed against my inner thigh.