“There’s such a thing called a telephone,” I say around a smile. “You can use it to call and make arrangements to see people.”
He arches a brow at my sarcastic response. “Would you have time to fit me in?”
It’s a fair point. I work all week, as does he at the club’s garage. They repair mostly bikes, though occasionally cars, but it’s detailing the bikes Levi mostly does. He’s a hell of an artist. When I’m not at work, me and Layla are out partying. She works three nights a week at a local care home for the elderly, which makes it easy to be out drinking, something I seem to be doing more and more lately. I’m drinking myself into oblivion so I don’t have to deal with my shame.
I glance down at my watch. “I have a break in twenty minutes. Meet me at the coffee shop across the street.” He looks like he’s about to argue, so I hold up my hand. “I can’t just leave work, Levi. Twenty minutes is the best I can do.”
“Fine.” He bangs his fist off the side of the cubicle’s partition wall, making it wobble. “Don’t stand me up.”
“I won’t.”
Levi turns and walks away, the Untamed Sons insignia on the back of his kutte mocking me as he does. I swallow bile and glance down at my hands, my heart racing. That insignia once represented home, safety. Now, that’s marred by a darkness that is buried so deeply inside me I can’t root it out. Images of another time flash across my mind, visions of a different biker removing his kutte before wrestling me onto my back.
I shake myself, trying to regain control of my breathing, trying to ground myself.
I’m at work. I’m safe.
He’s not here.
I haven’t seen him in weeks, which should make me relax, but it puts me more on edge. Where is he? Is he suddenly going to pop back up and shred the remains of my control? Is this some kind of mind game?
I finish a call back with a client for the next fifteen minutes before I snag my handbag from under my desk and slip out a little early. It’s boiling when I step outside the building and the heat feels thick and sticky. I miss the air-conditioned office.
Quickly, I dodge the London traffic and head into the coffee shop I told Levi to meet me in. He’s sitting towards the back of the room, and I notice the other customers have given him a wide berth. The Sons are well known in this part of town and probably not for the right reasons. They have a reputation for dirty deeds and mayhem. My brother is caught up in that. I know he’s no saint, but I love him no matter what. He saved me and raised me, even though he was barely an adult himself. He thought the club could offer us a better life, and it did… for a time.
I slip into the booth opposite him and place my bag on the chair. There’s a plate in front of him, a half-eaten sandwich on it, and another sitting off to one side. He pushes that over to me.
“Thanks,” I say as I get comfortable. He watches as I take a large bite of the sandwich, relishing the flavours as they hit my tongue. Beef and honey mustard—my favourite.
“I shouldn’t have turned up unannounced, but fuck, Brie, I’ve missed you. Since you moved in with Layla, I never see you.”
Guilt washes over me. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own shit, I haven’t given my brother the time of day. I have to do better.
“I’m sorry.”
He leans back against the seat, his arm draped over the backrest. “You avoiding me?”
I roll my eyes at him, even though there is some truth in that. I guess I have been giving him a wide berth lately. I don’t like going to the clubhouse in case I run into him, and Levi spends most of his time there. “You doing okay?”
“I’m fine.” The words slip automatically from my mouth
His cocked brow tells me he doesn’t believe me.
“Know you went to that club in the Sic Bastards territory.” His words take me by surprise, but they shouldn’t. On some level, I knew this was coming. Levi isn’t stupid, and even though I’m no longer under his roof, he’s not in the dark. I’m guessing Daimon told him what happened in the club the other night. These men stick together. Although just how much he told him, I don’t know. Things happened that night I’m not exactly proud of.
“I’m nineteen. Legally, I’m allowed to go to any club I want to.” I can’t help but bristle at his tone.
“Ain’t saying that, Brie. Don’t care that you went out. You’re young, you should be enjoying life.”
“Then what are you saying?”
He leans forwards on the table. “I’m worried about you, that’s all.”
My heart clenches. I don’t want to give my brother a problem. He has always done everything to solve mine. I lean across the table and snag his hand, squeezing it.
“There’s no need to be. I’m fine.”
He eyes me and I see the scepticism in his eyes.
“Daimon said you were shit-faced in enemy territory.”
I roll my eyes at him, irritation flaring. Tattletale. “I don’t have enemies, Levi.”
“No, but the club does. They could use you to hurt us.”
A ripple of fear works through my belly at his words. I knew I had been in danger. Daimon had also made it clear, but hearing Levi say it makes it more real.
I place my sandwich back on the plate, the food swirling in my stomach.
“How have you been without me?” It’s a blatant change of subject, but he doesn’t comment on it, other than to eye me.
“I miss your cooking. Been eating nothing but takeaway since you moved out.”
This doesn’t surprise me. Levi is a fucking disaster in the kitchen.
“I’ll bring you over some stuff you can put in the freezer. I don’t want you to waste away to nothing.”
He smiles. “You know if you need anything I’m here for you. Always. Don’t care if it’s to put the fear of God into an ex or help you bury a fucking body. I’m here for you.”
I swallow hard as his words shred me. “I know,” I whisper.
I don’t deserve his support and if he knew the truth, I doubt he’d give it to me. If he saw how unclean I am. How dirty and wrong. If he finds out, what will it mean? Levi will want to hurt him for touching me, but that can’t happen, not without my brother possibly losing his life. This isn’t just a regular brother he’s going up against. He’s Ravage’s blood. Nothing can happen to my brother. Nothing.
“What’s going on with you?” Levi demands.
I shake my head. “Why is everyone suddenly so interested in me? Between you and Daimon, I’m losing my mind. I don’t need either of you interfering in my life.”
It’s the wrong thing to say. I know it the moment his eyes narrow on me.
“Daimon? What the fuck’s he got to do with this?”
Shit. We’ve done nothing wrong, but the look Levi’s firing at me is positively scary.
“Nothing.”
“Something going on there I should fucking know about?”
I roll my eyes at him. “You’re my brother, not my father. Stop being a dick.” My ambiguous words don’t calm my brother down.
Levi leans forward on the table and hisses in my face, “Is he fucking sniffing around you?”