Her voice trails off as I take a few staggering steps back, taking in everything that I’ve just heard. None of this is shocking, I just had this same conversation with my own son. But hearing it from her mouth has a much stronger effect on me.
I stand in the doorway, listening to Andy talk to my wife. Listening to Tess’s response. I feel like I am on the outside looking in, and someone is explaining what is happening in our marriage. My gut clenches at the thought of her feeling less than anything but the love of my life. How did this happen between us? Did I pull away first or did she? Or did it just happen because we both forgot to care? Forgot to put effort into each other and started to take the other for granted?
At that moment I know. I know I have to do something drastic, and if I don't do something to make a change now, our marriage will crumble underneath us before we can even catch up.
I fell in love with Tess when I was seventeen and I still am. Always will be. I forgot to show her that I'm in love her, but that ends now.
I notice that I don’t hear talking anymore. I look into the living room, and what I see makes my blood boil. All thoughts of calm and reason and understanding fly right out the window.
Andy.
My friend.
Has.
His.
Hands.
Around.
My wife.
What. The. Hell?
In the back of my mind I know nothing is happening. But I’m raw and quite honestly sad from everything that I heard her say about how I make her feel.
I storm into the living room and grab Andy by the shoulder with such force that, when I pull him away from Tess, his back hits the wall. Immediately I’m on him, pressing him harder against the wall with my forearm against his chest.
“Barrett, what the hell is wrong with you?!” Tess screams in my ear, tugging me back away from him, but I only move a few steps.
“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? And you—” I point to Andy. “What in the ever loving hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Barrett, calm down.”
“No. I will NOT calm down, Tess. You and I haven’t been together in months! MONTHS! And you make Andy’s favorite dinner, which I don’t even want to know how you know what that is. And then… then, you allow him to have his hands all over you!? You confided in him!”
I’m beyond pissed off at this point, my own head getting in the way of everything I know to be true.
“Barrett. Man. You know I would never. And I mean never step across the line. Tess was giving me a hug. A hug. That’s it. Nothing more. Nothing less. And she asked me today what my favorite meal was. That’s how she knew. She wanted us to feel welcome here tonight. I promise you. That’s all that was.”
I’m having a hard time calming myself down, so I sit on the edge of the chaise lounge attached to the sectional. My elbows on my knees, I take several deep breaths in and out as I try to regain my breathing.
I didn’t need to hear Andy’s explanation. I already knew nothing was happening. It’s just seeing another man console your wife sucks. Hearing it sucks enough, but seeing it threw my heart and head into overdrive.
“Barrett, what happened between Heather and me, man… It’s not something I would ever put on another person. I love you guys. I feel so damn grateful to have your friendship and support. If my being here is a problem, I can easily go stay with Lauren and Josh. Truly, no hard feelings. The boys just thought it’d be cool to hang with Grady for the week until our new place is ready.”
I look up at my friend and shake my head. “No, man, it’s cool. I trust you. I do. I just got a little out of my head for a second. I’m sorry.”
“No reason to apologize. I get it. Trust me, I’m such a live wire lately that I get it probably better than anyone.”
“Thank you,” I tell him sincerely as I stand up to shake his hand.
“You’re welcome. I’m gonna head down to the shower and get the beds ready for me and the boys.”
“Yeah, okay. I’m sorry again. I meant what I said when I told you I trust you.”
“I appreciate that,” he says before turning and walking away. “Night, Tess. Thank you for dinner tonight. It was great.”
Tess has been standing a few feet away from me, not scared but just taking it all in. “You’re welcome, Andy. If you guys need more towels or sheets or pillows, or whatever, they’re in the hall closet in the basement. Make yourself at home.”
“You got it.”
I hear his footsteps fade away before I dare look up at Tess. She’s standing in front of me now, looking down at me with her eyebrows raised.
“Care to explain?” she asks me, pointing toward the door that Andy just walked through.
I shrug my shoulders as I sit back down.
“Barrett, I don’t tolerate our children responding with just a shoulder shrug, and I won’t allow it with you, either. Tell me. What was going through your head just now?” she asks angrily.
“I love you,” is my only response.
Her eyes soften, and she takes a seat next to me. I scoot over to accommodate her. She rests her small hand on my knee and squeezes lightly. Her voice softens as she tells me firmly, “I love you.”
I look over at her, vulnerability written all over her face.
“I’m sorry, Tess. The last few months are catching up on both of us, I guess. Now I know how you felt when you brought up Keri to me. Man, Tess, I know better. What the hell?” I ask as I pull at my hair in frustration.
She chuckles knowingly. “I know you do. And I did, too. It’s just that devil sitting on your shoulder whispering words of doubt into your ear. Trust me, I get it. It’s annoying as hell, huh?”
I laugh humorlessly. “You can say that again.”
“It’s annoying as hell, huh?” she says with the cheesiest comeback known to man.
This time my laugh is genuine. I drape my arm around her neck and pull her in to me and kiss the top of her head then breathe her in deeply. For some reason she smells like bacon. “I’m sorry, pretty girl. I trust you, too. I promise. Why do you smell like bacon?”
She doesn’t even flinch at my weird question. “Andy likes bacon on his French dip sandwiches. I went with it,” she says then sighs. “Barrett, we need to fix us,” she whispers.
I stand up and walk over to the hope chest that sits in the corner. I reach my hand out to her. “I have an idea,” I say. “Will you come over here? Please?”
She stands up and walks over to me. We both have a seat in front of the chest full of memories as I lift the lid. The smell of our past assaults us both, and I smile over at her before I reach in for what I’m looking for.
I pull out several photo albums and prepare to remind her of the life we built together.
Chapter Thirteen
Tess
Seeing the anger in Barrett’s eyes when he came in and saw me — completely innocently — hugging Andy took me by complete shock. I’ve never seen him like that before, and suddenly I can completely picture Grady losing it. Although Grady had a much better reason behind it, I also understand that Barrett has no patience for another man touching me. I don’t want another woman touching Barrett, so I need to be understanding. The thing is, though, I couldn’t stop myself from enjoying the feeling of Barrett getting jealous. We’ve gotten so comfortable around each other, it’s been years since I’ve seen his possessive side and it made me feel good. Plus, it was kind of sexy.