I see Lauren first and know Tess will be right behind her. I stand a little straighter, thankful that the guys haven’t noticed that I stayed behind. Miracle of all miracles there. Except for Josh. But I know he doesn’t have eyes for my girl. He has his sights set on Lauren. At least that’s what he told me when he noticed my attention drawn to the bleachers rather than the coach on the gym floor trying to get us keyed up for tonight’s game. And when he made the varsity players — including me — come down to the floor with him to help get the students pumped up, I was able to flick my eyes in her direction. I probably looked like an insane person, not being able to stop my eyes from drifting over to where she was sitting. Again, I didn’t care.
The second she walks through the gym doors, I touch her arm. It wasn’t the first time we have touched. Growing up together, we’ve played on the playground together, had recess together, been on field trips and already had a million other memories together. But none of them were together. And this touch? It felt like the first. The first time I touched my forever. I don’t have some crazy electrical shock. I don’t have tingles. I have the thrill and knowledge that I am holding the arm of the person I want around for the rest of my life.
I want to be the reason her heart beat faster.
I want to be the person she looks at with stars in her eyes.
“Hi.” That’s my opening line. Apparently, my tongue has forgotten how to form actual words. My brain has forgotten how to function. And that’s what it came up with.
She smiles a beautiful smile. A smile that is directed only for me. “Hi, Barrett.”
“Can I give you a ride home?” I ask her.
In that moment I know that I want to forever be her way home.
“Yeah.” Her smile is still in place. She didn’t hesitate. It’s like she expected it, or hoped for it. I’m banking on the latter.
“Yeah?”
Her.
Smile.
I am done for. She smiled at me and that’s all it took. I follow her to her locker while she gathers her things. I’m not a bit ashamed to admit that I check out her butt as often as possible. She follows me to my locker while I get my things. We walk out the front door and through the parking lot to my pickup — my dad’s pickup, that is. It is only a couple years old, a maroon Chevy. Dad let me take it often. I never really understood why, but I didn’t question it. I open the passenger door and grab her hand to help her into the seat. Such a simple act but it feels so… good. She lays her backpack on the floor beside her feet, and I find myself ridiculously grateful that she didn’t put it on the seat next to her. I didn’t want a barrier between us. I round the front and climb into the driver’s seat, then throw my backpack into the small back seat of the extended cab.
We don’t talk much on the way to her house. But it isn’t weird. It’s comfortable.
“Are you coming to the game tonight?”
“I go to every game.”
“You do?”
“Of course.”
I love that she goes to the games.
I smile.
She returns my smile.
“Good.”
She smiles.
I pull up to her house, put the pickup in park, and get out at the same time she does. I walk her to her front door.
“Would you do something for me tonight?”
“What’s that?”
I take off my cap, grab hold of my jersey from behind my neck, and pull it off, leaving me in just my white V-neck T-shirt. I put my cap back on, backward again so I can see her clearly. I hand her my jersey.
She smiles.
“Wear it tonight?”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. And after the game. Wait for me, okay?”
“Okay.”
She smiles.
Her smile is what I fell in love with first. Because when it is directed at me, it means something. It means she is happy because of something that I have been involved in somehow. I brought her happiness. I wanted to bring her happiness forever.
I play my best game I’ve ever played. And every time I think about Tess cheering in the stands wearing my jersey, what I’m assuming looks like a goofy-ass smile spreads across my face, and I play harder because I want to impress her. I want her to be proud to be wearing my jersey.
After the game I sit through our post-game talk in the locker room but don’t hear a word of it. As soon as the coach is finished, I shower, and then I practically race out of the locker room. To Tess. She waited, just like I asked her to.
She’s leaning against my pickup, hair in a ponytail.
She’s smiling.
I smile back.
And that is that. From now on, we will no longer be Tess. And. Barrett. We are Tess and Barrett. Barrett and Tess. And I love it. I hope she loves it, too.
I didn’t think life could get better. The day she allowed me to change her name to match my own, I knew. Life could get better. It could be the best. I looked into her eyes and promised her forever and in the deepest parts of my heart I meant it. She looked into my eyes and promised me her forever, and I knew in the deepest part of her heart that she meant it also. On that day, her beauty was unmatched. Unwavering. But it was more than her outside beauty. I fell in love with Tess’s heart, her caring and loving nature, the way she laughed easily, allowing me to tease her. I fell in love with the way she loved me.
Our time here is about getting back to the way we fell in love. Last night we danced together by the light of candles and moonlight. Tonight I plan to remind her of something else we used to love to do together, before life got too busy. After I get everything set up outside, I send a text to Tess.
Me: Come outside.
My Girl: Huh? Where are you?
Me: Outside. Duh.
My Girl: Dude. Did you just say duh?
Me: I did. Did you just call me dude? That’s kind of hot.
My Girl: SMH — only you.
Me: Get your cute ass out here.
My Girl: Why? It’s cold!
Me: Because I said so. Now be a good girl and get your ass out here.
My Girl: You know it’s not nice to be so bossy.
Me: Don’t lie. You’re so turned on right now from my bossiness and from me calling you good girl.
My Girl: Whatever. Where outside?
Me: I’m on the dick.
My Girl: Ummmmmmm
Me: I meant dick.
Me: DICK
Me: WTH? DECK!
My Girl: Awww, autocorrect hates you too!
Me: Well, if I’m honest, I’d take you coming out on my dick too.
My Girl: You’re such a weird horny ass.
Me: Weird horny ass, huh?
My Girl: Yup. Ok if I don’t come out there what are you gonna do? Shank my ass for being a bad girl?
Me: I don’t think I’ll go to that extreme.
My Girl: But bad girls get shanked.
Me: Oh, pretty girl, just stop texting and get your ass out here already or I will SPANK your ass — not SHANK it like you’re asking me to, bad girl.
My Girl: Oh my gosh. Damn you autocorrect! **shakes fist**
Me: Just get out here before I come in there and lick you up and throw you over my shoulder to bring you out here.
My Girl: A good licking isn’t so bad.
Me: I give up. Just come outside please?
I’m standing outside on the deck waiting for her when she comes outside, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She’s giggling at our texting snafu and looks calm and relaxed, the same way she’s been for the last few days since we arrived. I grab her hand as soon as she gets close to me and lead her down the stone path to the back yard where the fire ring is sitting, deep set and surrounded by landscape rocks. The sun has almost set, the last of the day’s rays reflecting off the lake water, making the night take on a mysterious form. The hot tub that sits off to the side we haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying yet, but we plan to. Even with the cooler temperatures of Michigan autumn biting at our backsides, it’s serene, beautiful, tranquil even.