‘Goodnight Pickles.’ Luke stood to his full height, eyes still on the rabbit. ‘I don’t want any scratching at the door, any squeaking. Behave yourself tonight and you get the biggest carrot I can find tomorrow.’
‘What about me?’ Mia asked. ‘If I behave, do I get a big carrot?’
‘Sure.’ He smirked. ‘Or I can find you something else big to enjoy.’
She let out a strangled laugh. ‘Oh God, I hope the sex is better than the innuendo.’
‘The sex,’ he said softly, eyes blazing, broad chest rippling beneath his shirt as he stalked towards her, ‘will be better than anything you’ve ever experienced.’ With that, he swept her into his arms. ‘It’s time we headed for the bedroom.’
He kicked the door closed behind them and laid her carefully on the bed, his eyes skimming up and down her body. ‘I need to see you,’ he said hoarsely. ‘Without clothes,’ he added with a small smile. ‘In case that wasn’t completely clear.’
She looked at him towering over her and felt the first twinge of nerves. She’d met some of the women he’d slept with and she’d noticed a type; long legs, toned body. ‘You first.’ Without a second of hesitation, and with none of the flashy moves she’d expected from him, he whisked off his polo shirt and proceeded to unbuckle his belt. ‘Wait, slow down.’
He peered up at her in confusion. ‘You want me to stop?’
‘No, God no. Just…’ She smiled. ‘I’m kind of weird when it comes to unwrapping presents. I don’t like to rip off the paper. I like to take it off slowly, savour it.’ Unconsciously she licked her lips. ‘Let me enjoy savouring you.’
He groaned. ‘God, Mia, if you keep looking at me like that, I won’t be able to do slow.’
Her eyes ran hungrily, greedily, over his naked chest; the sexy V dipping into the waist of his jeans, the ridges of his six-pack, the taut muscles of his pecs. When she came across his nipple piercing, she paused, remembering why he said he’d got it done.
But why didn’t matter. Tonight, she was the one doing the looking, the touching. Swallowing down the jitters, she scrambled onto her knees and beckoned him forward. ‘Come here. Let me unwrap you.’
He stepped towards her and when she reached for his belt, his powerful body trembled.
Her heart lurched, and past histories paled into insignificance. This, what they were about to do, felt bigger, more momentous, than anything she’d experienced to date.
Luke gritted his teeth against the flare of need coursing through him. For weeks, months, ever since the first day she’d come into his bar, he’d wanted this.
Yet the moment her gaze had fallen on his piercing, he’d known something wasn’t right. He’d tried to ignore it, as she was clearly doing, but it was no good. How could he make love to her, when she still had doubts about him?
‘Mia, stop.’ His voice sounded strangled, a clear reflection of the effort the words cost him.
Her beautiful blue eyes gazed up at him in confusion. ‘You don’t want this?’
‘I want this more than I want my next breath.’ He placed a hand on either side of her face and searched for the right words. ‘But I also want you to want it, wholeheartedly. Unreservedly.’
‘I do.’
‘Unreservedly, Mia,’ he repeated quietly. ‘Without doubts, without fear that you’re doing the wrong thing.’ He brushed a thumb across her cheek, fighting to keep his words even when calm was the last thing he felt. ‘A moment ago, you saw my piercing and hesitated.’
Her eyes avoided his. ‘I remembered why you’d had it done.’
‘Because I thought the girls would like it?’ He exhaled sharply. ‘Shit, Mia, you’re thinking about me with other women?’
She ducked her head, moving so she was out of his reach. ‘I did, briefly.’ Her eyes, when she finally met his gaze, brimmed with frustration. ‘Why are you doing this? Ruining the mood just when I’d psyched myself up?’
He swore under his breath. ‘You shouldn’t have to psyche yourself up to make love to me.’
‘I didn’t mean it like that.’ She shifted so her back was against the headboard, knees hugged to her, and his heart ached. She looked hurt, upset.
‘Christ, I’m sorry.’ He let out a humourless laugh. ‘I’m supposed to be the great Don Juan, yeah? But here I am, making a total and utter balls-up of this.’ Slipping his shirt back on, he climbed onto the bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her. She felt stiff, far removed from the woman he’d carried to the bed a few minutes ago.
‘It’s the first time a guy has said no when I was undoing his belt.’
Beneath the bitter words, he heard her vulnerability, and shame rolled through him. He’d not just hurt her, he’d made her doubt herself. ‘I’ve never wanted a woman as much as I want you.’ He tucked a hand under her chin, turning her face so her eyes met his. ‘But it’s more than that now. I’m falling for you, Mia. It scares the living daylights out of me, yet ever since you walked into my damn bar with green streaks in your hair to match my sign, and backchat that was more than a match for me, you caught my attention. Now you’re reeling me in.’
She snorted. ‘I’m a fisherman now?’
‘Yeah, and I’m well and truly hooked.’ He pressed a kiss on the top of her head, feeling a little calmer when he felt her relax against him. ‘But much as I might want to, I can’t delete my past.’
‘I know.’ She turned to look up at him. ‘I wouldn’t be here if I thought it was going to be an issue for me.’
He could leave it there. He’d asked the question, received the answer he wanted. Yet if he did, wouldn’t he be doing the very thing he was ashamed he might have done with other women over the years; selfishly seeing what he wanted to see? Had the women he’d slept with so readily really all been happy with casual? He recalled the conversation with Tanya when he’d ended things and knew he was deluding himself if he thought his actions had never hurt anyone. ‘A few minutes ago it was an issue though, wasn’t it?’
‘We’ve both got a past, both slept with other people.’ She bit into her bottom lip as she seemed to consider her next words. ‘I just can’t understand why the guy I think you are, the one who proposed to his pregnant girlfriend, could turn into a man who only wanted women for sex.’
The words stung, but then the truth often hurt. ‘I was eighteen when I asked Freya to marry me.’ He paused, feeling those long-forgotten emotions bubble to the surface again. ‘Do you know what it’s like not to be what the person you love, needs? Freya wanted me to change nappies and for occasional sex but not to be by her side. She didn’t want my love, not even my emotional support.’ His voice caught and he had to pause and take a breath before he could continue. ‘I was just the dad and the goodtime guy, so that’s what I became.’
‘How long were you together after Grace was born?’
‘It quickly petered out.’ He gave her a sad smile. ‘Turns out being rejected is hard to overlook. By the time Grace turned one, we had different lives, me working evenings at a bar, Freya a dedicated student. We only really talked when we handed our daughter over. I hated that, hated never being able to tuck Grace into bed. I missed her so fiercely, I had the tattoo done. My way of keeping her with me.’