I take her hands in mine. “Oh. Is it like a nervous sick, or you feel ill sick?” I hold my breath, waiting for her to answer.
“Funny tummy sick.”
I smile. “Do you want to know a secret?”
She nods, biting on her gloss-covered lips.
“We all feel a little nervous. It’s an important day.”
Her lip quivers ever so slightly. “But what if I trip?” she asks. I see so much of Flick in her, I wouldn’t think they were only half-sisters.
“I’ll be there to catch you if you do.” I squeeze her hand to reassure her.
But who the hell will catch me?
I stand up straight and seek him out, my eyes finding Charlie. When did he become the one I sought out? When did he become…more?
My stomach does an uneasy summersault, beads of sweat break out. This cannot be happening.
Charlie
I sense someone, and sure enough, I catch Sophie’s piercing eyes staring directly over to me. I tilt my head to the side and mouth, “are you okay?”
She shakes her head. No.
“I’ll be right back,” I say to Nate, already walking away before he can protest. His jaw drops as I walk past him and make a beeline toward Sophie.
“Got a second?” I ask her as I approach. She nods.
“Madds, you wait here with Emelia. I just need to speak to Charlie really quick,” she tells Flick’s adorable little sister.
Emelia, Flicks mum, smiles and takes Maddie’s hand in hers.
I gently cup Sophie by the elbow, and we round the side of the house, away from prying ears. Her scent washes over me in a small invisible wave—something floral with a hint of vanilla, like she’s been baking—it’s sweet and intimate and all her.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
She flaps her hands in front of her before dropping them to her sides. “I’m freaking out.”
“Why? You’re not the one getting married,” I say, and if eyes could kill, I’m pretty confident I’d be dead right now. Humour is not the way forward.
“Ha bloody ha. I’m nervous. There I was telling Maddie how I’ll catch her if she falls, but what happens if I trip up?”
I let out a chuckle, trying my hardest to focus on her face and not openly appraise her. “Why would you trip?”
She stares at me, unblinking. I smile and take hold of her shoulder. “I’ve got your back. I won’t let you.”
Her face falls. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I rarely get like this. Not anymore, not…”
Shit. I see her eyes mist over and grab for my handkerchief. Evie insisted we all had them, even though Nate and I snickered. It cost us both a clip around the ear hole, so we took them, no argument.
“Here.” I pass it to her. Her eyes cast down to my hand then back to my face, as her lips form a smirk. “Just take it, would you?” I say, waving it in front of her and averting my eyes.
“Thanks,” she says, gently wiping at the corners of her eyes. “Is my mascara okay?”
I study her face. “Looks like mascara to me.”
She slaps my shoulder. “I mean, has it run?”
“Run where?” It’s like I have verbal diarrhoea each time I open my mouth. I grab the hankie out of Soph’s hand and lean closer. Her breath tickles my chin as I wipe away the tiny smudge from under her eye.
“There, all perfect,” I say, and wink before dropping my hand. “Ready?”
She straightens her shoulders with a nod, and I can’t help but notice how her chest pokes out. Placing my palm on the small of her bare back, we return to join the rest of the wedding party.
As we wait for the ceremony to begin, she crouches down and whispers something to Maddie, causing her to smile brightly. When she rights herself again, she takes hold of my arm to prepare for our walk down the aisle.
“Let’s do this,” I whisper into her hair. Her cheeks beam a soft hue of blush.
I think of the number of times my dad has married since becoming a widow. Internally, I shake my head. Three failed marriages. It was inevitable, of course, my mum was irreplaceable. But it only made me resent him when I saw who those women were after saying ‘I do’.
Deep down, I wanted him to be happy again. I hoped he would be the dad I knew before losing Mum—the man who would put me on his shoulders and make me feel like I could reach the moon. My favourite days were ones spent at the beach. As the sun went down, we’d all sit around the fire pit, and Mum would regale us with stories about the meaning of the stars. All his affection towards me left with her. I know a part of him died with her because part of me died that day, too.
Chapter 2
Charlie
The ceremony went as Nate and Flick planned—no hitches—but I know I won’t be able to relax until after the speeches.
I grab a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and down it in one quick gulp before placing it back on his tray and taking another. The aftertaste of bubbles tingles my nose. I tilt my glass at him in a thank you gesture, and the corner of his mouth lifts in acknowledgement as he continues.
Rachel waves Molly’s hand in my direction, and I send a wink her way in response. A roar of laughter echoes, belonging to Flick’s uncle, Gabriel. He’s probably had one too many. I move to intercept him when Flick’s dad comes to the rescue and hands him a bottle of water, ushering him to sit with Maddie hot on his heels, a miniature version of Flick.
My stomach grumbles when a warm, spicy, and flavoursome aroma wafts towards me. Man, I’m hungry, but it’s photos first. I spot someone passing by with a tray of those little canapé things. “Hey, excuse me,” I say to a server who turns to me and walks over, tray in hand. I grab at a few of the napkins and a handful of puff pastry filled hors d’oeuvres. At this point, I don’t even care what they are. “Thanks,” I say and pop one straight into my mouth. The girl smiles, not taking her eyes off me, and I can’t help myself when I smirk and wink at her. She nibbles on her bottom lip. She’s attractive enough, but her allure pales in comparison to the woman I can’t get out of my head. I turn away and finish off the canapés.
“Penny for them,” Soph says, as she pokes me in my ribs.
“Hey, you. I haven’t seen you around in a few weeks.”
She scrunches up her nose. “You saw me before the ceremony.”
“That’s not what I mean,” I say, and she knows it.
She clasps her hands in front of her. “Yeah, sorry. I’ve just been busy since we came back from Torquay.” She shifts on her feet.
I suppose there’s not much I can say to that, except I don’t think that’s the only reason. We’ve become close, and it was a little awkward after she woke up in my arms. It was innocent. We fell asleep and woke up to the sunrise. And I can deny it as much as I want, but it was intimate, and we kept it to ourselves.
“It was a lovely ceremony, wasn’t it?”
“One of the better ones I’ve seen,” I say.
“I know you’re not particularly fond of these things, but it was beautiful,” she says, lifting her chin.
I elbow her gently and smile. “It was, and I’m made up for the two of them. They remind me of Mum and Dad and how they had a love like that.” My voice cracks. I don’t know where that came from, or why I just admitted it to her. Sometimes, out of nowhere, I remember what I’ve lost and how fucking ripped off we were.