She whispered, “Nash… Nash… Nash…”
She shut her eyes and forced herself down to my chest as she cried out, slamming her hips down, reaching climax. She stopped and began to shake.
My hands raced down to her lower back and I held her tight against me, feeling her clenching and releasing.
I made one last move and rolled Liv to her back.
I had a tight grip on the sheets on my bed and I finished myself with her body.
Staring at every little feature of her body.
I never thought I’d care about a woman’s eyes or a few little curly strands of hair or the placement of a random freckle here and there.
I kissed her deep and slow as I came… while going deep and slow.
The entire night had shifted.
It wasn’t fucking filthy anymore.
It was fucking love.
My arm around her body kept her against me, feeling the warmth of her skin. My hand spread wide at her chest. For two reasons. The first and foremost… feeling her breast. My pinky rubbing her nipple until she giggled and wiggled to get me away.
The second reason… to feel her heartbeat.
Racing. Calming. Me kissing her neck. Heart racing again. Then calming. Me teasing her nipple. Heart racing even more. Then calming one more time.
“So, I guess I’m sleeping here,” she whispered.
“I guess. Unless you want me to call Bill to drive your ass home.”
“Wouldn’t that make you jealous? Another guy driving my ass home.”
I curled my lip. “Nah, babe. You do whatever you want. I just know anything after me is a downgrade.”
“You talk a big game, Nash.”
“I have a big game, babe,” I said.
I thrust and let her feel the one thing bigger than my ego.
“I guess I have to give you credit for that.”
“If not, the evidence is all over these sheets.”
“Gross.”
“Gross?” I asked, laughing. “How is that gross?”
“I don’t know. Just shut up. This is kind of nice.”
“What is?”
“This. It feels… okay.”
“Just okay?”
“Nash, stop.”
“Stop what?” I pushed at her.
“It feels good,” she said. “Okay? I like being in bed with you. I like you holding me. I like the way my body feels.”
“Me too, babe,” I whispered.
I kissed her shoulder.
She melted some more into me.
“So what’s your bestseller about?” I asked.
“What?”
“Your book. You’re doing all of this crazy shit to get a book deal. What’s the book about?”
“I don’t like to talk about it.”
“Yet you want millions of people to read it.”
She thrust her butt back at me. “Shut up.”
“Don’t wiggle your sweet ass at me, babe. You know I’ll get hard and have no choice but to fuck you again.”
“Hey, if it changes the subject, it’s worth the effort.”
“Worth the effort… damn.”
Liv turned her head and smiled. “What? You don’t like feeling like a whore, Nash?”
I didn’t say anything back.
All I knew right then was that Liv was worth everything. Whatever happened from here on out, she was worth it.
I squeezed her tighter and let out a long breath.
“It’s a stupid small town story,” Liv whispered. “About friends, family, love, that kind of thing. Growing up and thinking things won’t change, but they always do. Who slept with who? Who got pregnant? Who went to college? Who didn’t? This woman left town to be a famous singer, only to come back to town thinking things are the same since she failed at singing, but it’s changed. So her entire life is upside down. She tracks down her high school sweetheart and there’s a spark there but he’s engaged to a woman who’s pregnant. It’s a messy literary and somehow a romantic story.”
I smirked. “Too bad I don’t read. I might actually enjoy that.”
“Too bad, Nash,” she said. “You’re just a dumb rock star with a nice dick.”
“I don’t hear you complaining, babe,” I whispered as I kissed her shoulder.
Liv laughed and shut her eyes.
I watched her fall asleep.
And the only reason I let her go was to go out on the balcony and smoke a joint.
I stood there naked, staring down at the crazy city where I had made a name for myself.
Behind me in my bed was the woman who I wanted to make a whole name for myself.
But reality was a cruel bitch.
I was a fucking rock star.
She was looking to go east and sit in cafes in the fall and write lovey-dovey shit.
My mind buzzed.
I touched my chest.
My heart was beating.
Which was good.
My heart whispered Liv’s name.
I wasn’t sure if that was good.
16
OLIVIA
I woke draped in silk sheets and visions of Nash running through my mind. I woke up ready to go and I had to shut my eyes and bite my lip to calm down. Only because I was alone in his gigantic bed.
The room was dark and cool. It had no smell to it. Just air. Not a single thing hung on the walls either. It was the cleanest, almost bare bedroom I’d ever seen, yet that somehow spoke louder than if Nash had hung a million posters on the walls.
It was just… him.
His looks, actions, thoughts, and words were all different. And in some crazy way a piece of each came together to create the real Nash. The Nash that looked me in the eyes the way he did last night. The Nash that kissed me in a way that told me truths he wished I didn’t know. The Nash that wrapped his arms around me and held me until I fell asleep.
I took the sheet with me off the bed and that was all I had to wear for the moment. I walked along the dark, hardwood floors of the bedroom, looking down at my feet. I kept biting my lip, trying to keep things contained. My mind telling me I loved Nash wasn’t the first thought I needed in the morning. And it was damn sure not anything Nash needed to hear either. Part of me wondered how many times he woke up the next morning with a woman in his bed telling him she loved him.
It made me jealous and that hint of jealousy was reason enough to chase the love thoughts away.
Maybe not for good, but for now.
Nash had a long one story house up in the hills.
There were windows everywhere, making it impossible not to appreciate the crazy pretty view from the house. This was a whole different life and tax bracket up here for sure. Not that I hadn’t seen this style of living before. I just wasn’t used to it recently.
I found Nash standing at a black marble counter, shirtless, writing in a notebook. The way he leaned forward, his messy bed head, his muscles forever present…
Goddamn… I’m in a bad spot here…
I bit my lip, knowing if I kept doing so I was going to chew it off for good.
Nash’s face had that wild intense look like it did that day in the studio. It was like he became a different person when it came to the music. I wondered what that was really like for him. Having the reputation as a bad boy rock star. Singing for a band called Filthy Line. The perception of loud music, drinking, drugs, and sex. Yet this amazing side of Nash…