“I won’t ask you again.”
He wanted the answers that I wasn’t providing and needed to claw back some control. Yet, there was an allure in being defiant. As much as he needed my submission, I needed a distraction from the voices clamoring in my head.
I wanted him out of control, and his face told me that he was heading there fast.
His grin had a feral edge. He was a dangerous man, and I thought that was a large part of his appeal. He would oblige my desire for oblivion.
“There’s a part of me that says I should give you what you want,” he said. “And so decisively that you’re too afraid to make the same mistake again. But there’s also another side of me that fucking hates manipulation and says I should do the exact opposite.”
He grinned, and I suffered a belated determination that I’d bitten off more than I could chew.
“You know, I think I’m just going to make a call on this on an entirely selfish basis.”
He stood, lifting me with him, and I clung lest I fall.
“Let’s take this to the bedroom,” he said. “Going to need lots of lube for what I’ve got in mind.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Nora
I EXISTED IN a state of turmoil as we entered the apartment. I’d been through a rollercoaster of emotion, and the day was not done with me yet.
Adam was a little fussy. It was time for his dinner, but he was not the highest priority in my life for once. I felt sick, my tummy all in knots and my thoughts looping over that horrific scene in the medical center garage.
“Do you need some ice?”
I could have slapped myself for that stupid question. Of course he needed ice… a ton of painkillers, and probably a few stitches given he was still bleeding at his temple.
“I’ll get it,” Carter said, not meeting my eyes. “Adam needs his dinner.”
I burst out crying. Adam burst out crying.
Carter took Adam from me while I fell apart. Wrapping an arm around my waist, he guided me over to the couch.
“I need to get you some ice!” I wailed.
“Five minutes won’t make a difference one way or the other,” he said.
“How can you be so calm?”
“I’m not going to die, babe.” I went to pull away, but he refused to let go, and all my struggles did was plaster me up against him tighter. Adam’s tears turned to giggles as he thumped the side of Carter’s face. “Need to work on that right hook, buddy.”
I snorted out a laugh, and although tears still dampened my cheeks, I could feel Carter’s calm invading me. “Let me hold him so he doesn’t hurt you.”
“Nope, I like feeling you next to me. I need to feel you next to me.”
I forced my breathing to be steady, took in the way he was so gentle with Adam and with me, and wondered how the hell I’d happened upon this miracle. With my cheek against his chest, I breathed in his scent, taking comfort from his steady heartbeat under my ear. I wanted to stay in this moment forever, to enjoy this awareness growing between us.
Adam started to fidget. The little warning warbles that said he was overtired, possibly needed his diaper changed and food. “Let me see to him… and get you some ice. Please.”
He let me take Adam this time. With Adam on my hip, I grabbed a prepared meal for him from the fridge and put it on the side with his spoon, ready to go. Then I took some ice and wrapped it in a towel.
Carter took the ice from me, wincing as he pressed it to his temple. I couldn’t look at his poor face without wanting to cry again.
I sucked it up and carried Adam through to his room where I changed his diaper. The apartment had a small dining table opposite the couch, where I sat with Adam in his new highchair.
He ate the food like he’d been starved, chubby baby fists waving enthusiastically.
I went through the motions of feeding him, bathing him, and putting him to bed. In the background, I heard Carter take a shower and go to bed without bothering to eat.
My tension rose as I showered and donned one of Carter’s old T-shirts he’d given me for bed. The soft cotton that was usually pleasant against my skin felt tight and restrictive. My breasts, the bane of my adult life, felt heavy and achy.
When I entered the bedroom, I found Carter sitting at the end of the bed, sleep pants low on his hips. The bedside lamp cast a weak illumination over him. Bruises covered his chest and across his ribs. Seeing it broke my heart.
God help me, I did not know how to do any of this.
He took my hand, drawing me between the V of his open legs.
“Babe, you need to tell me if someone approaches you like that again.”
“Okay.” I knew that. My reluctance in telling him about the man confused even me. Maybe I’d been fooled into the civilized front Guilder City presented and thought I was safe?
“If it happens again, you need to tell me straight away. You have the cell, you can message me. No matter how small the interest is. I can handle a challenge, but I can’t handle the ‘off-the-grid’ kind of bullshit that happened tonight. Do you realize what would have happened had Blaine not turned up?”
I swallowed. Yes, it had dawned upon me that something was very wrong with the way we’d been approached in the garage. The significance hadn’t registered fully until his brother, Blaine, had arrived and called them on the corrupt challenge.
Blaine, who was with Ava.
Blaine, who looked capable of taking on all ten of the thugs single-handed and not breaking a sweat. Not that Carter was a lightweight.
My throat turned to dust as I remembered Carter leaning over the fallen man, fists laying blow after blow, the blood splattering, and the plaintive cries of the downed man.
I’d never seen a man fight like that before. If Blaine hadn’t stepped in and dragged him off, I thought Carter might have killed the man from bed 17E.
Glenn—how I’d loved him—but he was a gentle soul and was no better equipped than me for this fallen world.
But Carter, the man I’d thought of as young and weak, had destroyed a street-hardy pimp.
My eyes went to the hand holding mine, and I became enrapt by the scuffed, bruised knuckles.
“We good?” he asked.
“Yes.” I stepped into him, drawing his head against my stomach and stroking fingers through his silken hair.
With a deep breath, he pressed his face into me, hands closing over the back of my thighs and sliding up until they cupped my naked ass. Everything inside me came alive, my stomach dipped, and my legs grew weak.
“I can’t be gentle, Nora,” he said. “Not tonight, not now. I’m so fucking pumped.”
My pussy clenched in anticipation. “It’s okay. I don’t want gentle tonight either. I just want to forget.”
My T-shirt was tugged over my head, and I was tossed to the bed. I expected him to climb over me, to fuck me, but I caught only a wicked grin before he lowered his lips to my breast and sucked my nipple—hard.
I went a little insane under his attention. He was rough with me. Rough in a way that spoke of barely contained desire. His fingers shook as they squeezed my breasts together, nipping and kissing with enough force that I knew it would leave marks.
It made me hot and impatient. It sent me a little wild.