“His childhood made him the man he is today.”
I’m growing madder by the minute. “There are so many things wrong with that. He suffered so much, and he didn’t need to!”
“You are right, but I cannot change time, nor would it have mattered. Back then, things were different.”
“I don’t know how Ben can even stand to look at you.” I don’t conceal my disgust. How could you knowingly turn your back on your own flesh and blood? There is nothing he could say that will ever make me understand how he neglected Ben.
“Bella, bella.” His blue eyes drill into mine. “I like that you are angry for my Bennett. I like that you speak your mind and you stand up for what you believe is right. I don’t disagree with you. I did not do right by my son, and he spent years hating me. He probably still does, and I would not resent him for his feelings or expect him to love me.”
“Yet he takes care of you. He took control of your business and has made it even more successful.”
“Because he is a good man. A better man than me, and he respects responsibility and la famiglia.”
“Answer me one thing.” I sit up straighter in my chair. “Do you regret it? Wish you had treated him better?”
“I do.” Sincerity bleeds from his tone, and the edge slices off my anger. “He deserved better.”
“Have you changed that much, or are you telling me what I want to hear?”
He shifts in the bed, and a grimace spreads across his mouth. The rattling wheezy sound in his chest deepens, and I grab the glass of water again, helping him to take small sips from the straw.
He pats my hand when he is finished, and the spluttering quiets down. “I am old, Bella. I am dying. That forces a man to reevaluate the things he has done. The things he wishes he hadn’t done. It changes a man, but above everything, Bennett has altered my views. He had a vision of a different future. One he has nurtured into existence, and he has shown me there is a better way. I can die in peace knowing my family is in safe hands.” His eyelids flutter as he fights sleep, but he pushes on.
Clasping my hand in his weak one, he stares me directly in the eye. “Knowing my son has found a woman worthy of his love also gives me peace of mind. Bennett needs you. He will claim otherwise, but you are the missing piece he didn’t even know he was searching for.”
38
SIERRA
“How did your talk with Angelo go?” Ben asks me later that night, as we walk side by side along one of the trails in the woods on the grounds of his estate. Rowan is fast asleep, not even lasting through one page of his book. I think Ben was disappointed he didn’t get to read to him, but there will be plenty of nights for that. Rowan was exhausted from an action-packed day, and he got to stay up later tonight to watch Skywatch Weekly. We watched it from the roof, via Ben’s laptop, and Rowan’s clear delight at watching it with his daddy almost induced a fresh wave of tears. My hormonal outbursts are getting embarrassing at this stage.
“It was…interesting. Enlightening. Infuriating,” I admit.
Spotlights embedded in the beige stone path light the way as we stroll. The night air is brisk, but we are wrapped up warm in heavy coats, thick scarves, and leather boots.
“That sounds about right,” Ben grins. “Angelo is an infuriating bastard at the best of times.”
“You don’t call him Dad?” I inquire, having noticed this previously. Although, now I’ve met the man and heard some of the backstory, it makes sense. I would be reluctant to call that man Dad too if I was in Ben’s shoes.
Ben sighs, pulling the collar of his black woolen coat up around his neck as we walk. “Our relationship is complicated.”
“He told me about Mateo. He also said you have made your mark in a way Mateo never could.”
Ben quirks a brow, looking at me with respect and surprise. “He said that?” I nod. “Hmm.” His tongue darts out, wetting his lips, and he looks pensive for a few moments before he breaks the silence. “He must like you already. He rarely talks about Mateo. Even to Natalia.”
“It must have been hard for her when he died.”
“It was, but she never let it get in the way of our relationship. She welcomed me with open arms.”
“You love her.”
“I do. Very much. Outside of Leo, she’s my closest friend.”
“I like her a lot, and I’m glad she’s here.”
“She will stay for a week to help you settle in.” He pushes a branch away, clearing a path for me. “I have to return to the city on Sunday night.”
I detect the guilt in his tone. “It’s okay, Ben. I know you have to work.”
Tugging on my arm, he pulls me to a stop. “For the first time ever, I have a reason to stay, and I don’t want to return to the city. I will try and wrap things up early one or two nights and either drive or fly here.”
“That would be great, but I don’t want to add to your stress. I want to make your life easier,” I say, holding my gloved hand to his face.
“You already do. I’m so happy you are both here.”
I’m loving how he is opening up to me. This Ben is the one I remember from my childhood, and it’s encouraging to know he hasn’t lost that side of himself. I’m not naïve though. I know he is a different man now. That there is a dark side to him as well. I’m determined to love all sides of him. To understand fully what makes him tick now.
I’m ready to embrace everything that comes with being with him because living my life without Ben in it is no longer an option. For either Rowan or me. I’m committing to him now with everything that entails.
The wind picks up, and we hurry back to the house, settling side by side on the couch in front of the roaring fire in our private living room. Ben swirls expensive bourbon in his glass while I sip a glass of fruity red wine. “You wanted to talk, so talk. I’m an open book,” he says, sliding his arm around my shoulders.
I have so many questions, but starting from the beginning seems the most logical route. “How did you come to leave Chicago? It was after Mateo died, right?”
Ben bobs his head. “I was leaving the bar where I worked one night when I was accosted by a few men. They forced me at gunpoint into a car, and I was driven to a house in Greenhaven, Rye, on the very outskirts of New York. It’s not too far from here, actually.” He takes a mouthful of his bourbon while I wait for him to continue.
“They took me to Angelo’s house. That was the first time I met him. He explained he was my father, that he was the don of one of the five New York Italian mafia families, and his eldest son, Mateo, had just been murdered. He told me, point-blank, that I was needed to fulfill my duty as his sole remaining heir.”
“He strikes me as the type of man who doesn’t hold back.” I turn in his arms, placing my hand on his chest. Heat warms my palm even through his sweater. “That must have been one hell of a shock.”
“I thought he was joking at first until I googled it. It was only fourteen years ago, but even then, no one gave a rat’s ass what was said online. It was one of the first things I convinced Angelo to let me do after I got over my initial shock and resistance.”