Lena leaned forward, her chin in her hands. “That doesn’t sound too bad to me.” She smiled inwardly at the exasperation spreading across Fe’s face. “Okay, I’m listening. I get it, but there’s no point in worrying about it now. The moment’s gone, and I don’t have a time machine. I probably won’t see him again. But, I swear, the next time a delicious, gorgeous guy at an event wants to take me to bed, I’ll jump in on the action without question, and give you a full recap while he’s in the shower.”
Felicia pursed her lips and cocked her head, clearly thinking about her offer. “Add in some nudes of the guy in question and you have a deal.”
Lena burst out laughing, and Felicia joined in. After catching her breath, Lena said, “It’s a deal.” She checked the clock. “I gotta run. We’ll talk soon.”
“Wait! Can a visit from me fit into your busy schedule? I have some paid vacation time saved up.”
“I’d love for you to come visit. It seems like it’s been forever since we saw each other face-to-face. That would be amazing, Fe.”
“So you can spare the time, Ms. Business Woman Extraordinaire? I don’t want to rip you away from your spreadsheets and recipe developments.”
“I would love for you to come here. I’ll drop everything if I have to—you know I miss you like crazy. Just let me know as soon as you firm up the dates.”
“I was planning on booking the trip in the next month or two. It’s really not the same here without you, you know that. It’s been rough.”
Lena thought back over everything she had left behind in San Francisco to start her business in Santa Teresita. It had been a hard decision to leave her city, but looking back, she didn’t have many regrets. Moving to Santa Teresita was the fresh start she needed after what had happened—
A fresh stab of pain pierced her heart. She shook her head, not ready to dive into the past. She had a meeting with Mrs. Wright in less than five minutes, and she had to be on her A-game to secure the contract.
Felicia put her arms out, as if she were hugging Lena over the connection. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring everything up and make you sad. You’ve come a long way since your parents’ death, and I know it was hard. You needed this reset. It’s just that I miss you—we used to do everything together. And the rest of the group misses you too. We should all come and visit you one weekend. It’d be great to sleep in late, hang on the beach, and go dancing.”
“That would be fun. Let’s think about it.”
“We will—for sure. Again, I didn’t mean to make you sad.”
“I know, and it’s okay.” Lena blew out a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut, forcing back the tears that still sometimes came unexpectedly whenever she thought about her parents’ tragic deaths. “Even though it’s going on four years, it still feels like it just happened.”
“I get it… well, as much as I can.” Felicia adjusted herself in her office chair. “No one expects their parents to die when they’re so young, and certainly not in a plane crash. I’m sure the idea of letting anyone else into your life must be hard. You know, the whole thing about not knowing if you could lose them like you lost your parents.”
Her best friend since grade school lapsed into silence, and they both sat with their own thoughts for a few seconds. There wasn’t anything Lena could add to the conversation. The truth was, there wasn’t a day that had gone by since the plane crash she hadn’t thought about her parents, and how much she missed them.
After the crash, she’d been in a heartbroken daze. After a couple of years of grief therapy, she’d been able to move forward. Settling in the place she and her parents used to vacation when she was a kid seemed like the perfect place to start over. As hard as she tried, there were days when the heartache and longing to hear her father’s laugh, or her mother’s sage advice, were overwhelming. Nothing had prepared her for her entire foundation to be rocked to the core for the rest of her life.
Sniffling, she offered Fe a weak smile.
“They would’ve been so proud of you. You know that, don’t you?” Felicia wiped a small tear from her cheek with her thumb and smiled back at her. “You’re everything they wanted in a daughter, and so much more, Lena. You just have to remember that they would want you to live outside of the lines too. Do something fun every now and then.”
She nodded, her throat still tight with unspoken emotion.
“Thanks, Fe. I needed that reminder.”
“Always. That’s what I’m here for, right?”
“Right.” Her attention went back to the clock and she bit off a curse. “I have to get going. Wish me luck on landing the contract with this customer. Text me as soon as you figure out the dates for your visit.”
“You’ll know every detail as I make them.”
Lena wrapped up the video chat. After her meeting with the customer, she had the dinner rush to help with. The hustle and bustle was a good distraction from the grief that was always present in her life.
Maybe Tank would’ve been the perfect crutch in her broken life. Until he shattered what’s left of my heart. And she had no doubt he would. A night rolling around in the sheets with him couldn’t fix the cracks in her heart, despite what Felicia thought.
Lena pulled out a tube of lipstick and swiped the peachy color across her lips, raked her fingers through her long hair, then stood up and walked out of the office to meet Mrs. Wright.
The next two weeks were a blur of recipes, food tastings, catered parties, serving customers at the bistro, and selling so many croissants, Lena was actually dreaming about them.
Small slices of time spent on her balcony, watching the ocean while sipping a glass of lemonade or white wine—depending on the time of day—were her only reprieves from work. During those precious, quiet moments, Tank held a starring role in her thoughts. She’d been amazed that she hadn’t bumped into him, seeing as the town wasn’t that big. When she’d lived in San Francisco, she’d bump into people from high school quite often, so she’d thought for sure they would’ve run into each other over the past two weeks at some point.
When she wasn’t thinking about Tank’s kiss, Felicia’s advice about living in the moment, not letting life pass her by, festered in her brain. For the first time in two years since starting her business, she thought about her direction in life, seriously considering if she had allowed opportunities to slip away because of her hectic work schedule. There was being dedicated, and then there was ignoring mental and physical growth.
Lena made sure she took some dedicated time to think about what she wanted and needed. Her therapist would’ve been thrilled at the inner self-work she’d put into the question.
At the end of her contemplation, she realized that just because she had an article in the L.A. Times food section, a buzzing business, and a condo entirely in her name, that wasn’t enough. She was lonely. All of her friends lived in San Francisco, and since she’d moved to Santa Teresita, she hadn’t made any close ones. Of course, she had friends and colleagues, but it wasn’t the same. Yes, lonely. She’d replaced social interaction with work.