When Mom continued, her voice was trembling about as bad as I was. “What happens then, Mike?”
“He won’t.”
“You can’t know that! The principal said he took down three boys before Savannah managed to stop him. Three. It’s getting worse, you know it is.”
There was a long silence before Dad said, “We don’t know that. We don’t know what happened.”
“Mike—”
“He ain’t any worse with his brothers than he’s always been. He’s just stronger.”
“And he’ll get stronger,” Mom argued. “And nothing makes a difference to him. The therapists and doctors only aggravated the situation. Discipline did the same. He accepts groundings and-and-and suspensions quietly. But it doesn’t make a difference.”
“I know, honey. That’s why we gotta respond differently with him. Be open and calm.”
“He doesn’t need open and calm. He needs to go to—”
“No,” Dad snapped.
“Mike—”
“I said no, Wendy. I ain’t changin’ my mind on that.”
I looked toward the stairs when my dad’s heavy steps moved through the house, wondering what Mom had been about to say.
When her soft cries followed after him, I turned and slipped down the hall and into my room. Falling onto my bed and dragging my hands over my face as the jumbled blur of a fight played out in my mind until sleep claimed me.
“Shit,” I hissed when something heavy landed on my stomach and launched the object away from me as I scrambled to sitting on my bed.
My backpack hit the wall next to where Hunter stood inside my room with his arms folded over his chest.
“What’s your problem?”
“You left that in the principal’s office,” he said softly. “I got to hear all about why.”
My chest shook as I thought about what our principal might’ve said to him—how his older brother was a problem. A bad influence. Not someone to look up to.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Couldn’t stay there,” I said instead of explaining myself.
“Yeah. Got that.”
“How long am I suspended for?”
A smirk stretched across his face. “You don’t know?”
“Think I’d be asking if I did?”
“Three days.” He started for the open door and shrugged. “Same goes for the trio of ass wipes.”
Surprise swirled in my chest, but before I could ask, Savannah was slipping past him and into my room.
My heart and stomach dropped as I staggered off my bed. Shame building so great that it nearly took me to my knees.
As soon as Hunter shut the door behind him, I was stepping close enough to Savannah that I was nearly touching her. “I’m sorry.”
Disappointment poured from her as she studied me. “Why?”
I blinked slowly as I absorbed that one word that seemed to pack a punch.
In the four years of knowing Savannah, she’d ended up near most of the fights I’d found myself in.
Her family spent holidays with ours, and she spent all her free time with me, trying to get lost on the property when my brothers refused to let that happen. Then there was school. Whatever it was, she was usually there, by my side.
Lighting up my life and making my days better. Pulling me out of that sick darkness and waiting until we were alone again to show anything other than her support.
But she hadn’t questioned my apologies until then.
“Because I’m proving everyone right,” I said softly. “Because I can’t stop.”
Because I can’t be better for you.
“No, why did you do it?”
Wasn’t sure I’d ever felt as low as I did then. Not when I’d thought she was the only person who understood.
I took an unsteady step toward my bed.
Savannah followed, her eyebrows pulled close together like she was begging to understand. “Beau, I tried to stop you.”
My eyelids closed and my head slanted when it felt like her words had a pit of ice and fire opening up in my stomach. I sank to the bed and dropped my head in my hands when she continued.
“You ignored me and ran from me.”
“Savannah, he touched you.”
“I handled myself.”
“Savannah, he touched you!” I ground out and met her golden-eyed stare again. But the disappointment was fading away into surprise. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for losing it. For not stopping. For being like this.”
“No,” she said quickly and sat beside me. “Beau, no.”
“When are you gonna realize your parents are right? That you need to stay away from me?”
“They’re wrong.”
My head shook. “You’re the only one who thinks that.”
“You think I need to stay away from you too?”
“Yeah.” When her shoulders sagged and sorrow creased her beautiful face, I gestured toward my door. “Ask Hunter or even Madison, they’ll say the same thing. Jesus, Savannah. You walk right into the middle of fights for me. You’re gonna get hit.”
“You wouldn’t hit me,” she said confidently.
“Not me, Savannah. Someone else is gonna hit you one of these times because they’re not gonna realize you’re there.” I pressed a hand to my chest. “You think I’ll be able to handle knowing you got hurt because of me?”
Her gaze fell to her lap for a while before she asked, “Okay, but is that what you want?”
I clenched my teeth and slowly exhaled because I knew what she was asking, just as she knew I wouldn’t lie to her. “I want you to be safe,” I said carefully.
“That isn’t what I’m asking.”
“No,” I answered quickly. “You know that isn’t what I want. But it’s what you should want.”
“That might be difficult.” She played with her fingers as she wavered and then shifted to face me again. “Because I really like bears, and my favorite person just so happens to be a bear.”
The corners of my mouth lifted in a grin, and I was met with one of her bright smiles.
“You can’t get rid of me that easily. You don’t scare me, Beau Dixon.”
I should.
We jolted away from each other when my door swung open, even though we hadn’t been doing anything.
My mom gave me a frustrated look, her head shaking. “Grounded,” she said, pointing at me, then shifted her finger to Savannah. “Your momma just called, looking for you. Said you gotta leave for dance soon.”
“Oh, shoot,” Savannah whispered, hopping up off the bed.
With a hard look directed at both of us, my mom said, “No girls allowed in bedrooms. You know this. Add two days onto your grounding.”
“We were just talking,” I argued, gesturing to where Savannah was staring wide-eyed at me.
“There’s a girl in your room,” Mom said. “The door was closed. Don’t talk back to me. I have half a mind to add another week, Beau.”
“I’m sorry,” Savannah whispered when Mom’s voice trailed off down the hall. “We knew you’d be grounded, so Hunter snuck me in.”