“Yeah, sure. Some other time.”
I ducked around her quickly, anxious to get away from the pain I’d caused. It wasn’t as if I couldn’t cancel my plans to spend time hanging out with my bestie. I simply didn’t want to. Wallowing was my business, and business was good. It hadn’t stopped the customers from giving me shit. As far as they were concerned, everything was right as rain.
“These eggs are scrambled. I ordered sunny side up.”
“Ma’am, can I get a refill, please?”
“Where’s my extra mayonnaise?”
“Ms. This burger is cold.”
Nipsy’s was in full swing, yet my brain was teetering somewhere between kill me now and bitch, get your shit together, pronto. I’d been off my game since the start of my shift, and people were starting to notice. My regulars were pissed, the cooks were threatening to go on strike, and Nipsy himself had ordered me to “Get the fuck out till my head was on straight.” His words. I tried to argue, but Nipsy wasn’t having any of it, said I could walk out or be carried out, my choice. One foot in front of the other, I walked.
I stepped outside into the parking lot and waited for what seemed like hours but was probably nothing more than a few minutes. What exactly was I waiting for? To be kidnapped, of course. Where was a handsome mob boss when you needed one? The sheer lunacy of that idea had me laughing my head off all the way to my driver’s side door. I wandered around for a while, stopped and grabbed a latte, took a stroll through the park. I even managed to do a bit of window shopping. None of it worked to get my mind off the one person I should hate with every fiber of my being: Darragh MacCabe.
I was going about this whole thing the wrong way. Instead of mooning over that asshole like some kind of a love-sick puppy, I needed to remember all the chaos he’d caused, not only to me, but to the friends I adored. Three weeks of this bullshit was doing my head in, and I needed to step back, flip it, and reverse it. Take all the good I’d been fantasizing about and see it for what it really was instead of the fairy tale I’d made up in my head.
Easy peasy, I thought.
The soft feel of the thick, glossy strands of his tousled hair when I ran my fingers through it and pulled till my fingers ached? It was probably willowy and coarse like a Brillo Pad soaked in oil. His soft, supple lips when he kissed the insides of my thighs were probably in desperate need of a tube of Chap Stick. The ache I still felt between my legs from our little “encounter” was more than likely caused by muscle cramps due to stress. It was a safe bet that Mac was packing a cocktail wiener beneath his fancy-ass suit pants and not the monster that had poked me in the back when he stood behind me. Yes, sweet relief.
That started the ball rolling.
Now, for the big guns.
My date for the evening was the total opposite of the aforementioned mobster. Dave was a horticulturist in town for an organic fertilizer convention from Georgia. Blond with blue eyes, straitlaced to a fault, and if that wasn’t enough, he drove a minivan that his parents gave him when he graduated high school. He was stable, unassuming, and most importantly, safe. We had a mundane dinner where we moistly talked about a bunch of nothing. Him with his save-the-earth speeches and me with my Nipsy’s daily specials, and yep, I was bored out of my fucking mind. It was safe to say that after an hour, I knew more about doodoo than I ever thought possible.
Jesus, take the wheel.
Dave must’ve sensed my disinterest. I stopped trying to hide it right around the time dessert was served. It was early on a Saturday night, and this date was already firmly set in the failure section of my memory bank.
“Well, Odie, it was very nice hanging out with you tonight,” he mentioned as he held open the door for me after our meal. I could see him fumbling around nervously, as if he was trying to talk himself into doing something he didn’t want to do.
“How about we have a nightcap at my hotel room? It’s a company trip, so I’m allowed to charge whatever I want to the room, including continental breakfast for two. Know what I mean?”
Smooth, buddy, real smooth.
He is fucking with me, right?
“Um…Dave, I…”
How could I put this without hurting his feelings? Hell to the fuck…no. The thought of letting him between my legs was about as exciting as a midlife colonoscopy. My eyes rolled to the back of my head so hard they hurt. This wasn’t working out as I’d planned, not even a little bit. How many did that make now? A hundred? Two hundred? Before Dave could reach the driver’s side, I felt the tell-tale burning of my nostrils before the warmth of the first tear fell.
“One day, my beautiful Odie, he will come into your life like a lightning bolt and whisk you away on a brilliant adventure. I see it, and it’s the most amazing thing in the world.”
He’d never lied to me.
If only I still believed.
“So? What do you say? My place? You, me, furniture we can get horizontal on,” Dave interrupted my musings.
I quickly wiped away the wetness from under my eyes. “Actually…would you mind dropping me off somewhere? It’s not far, and I can find my own way home. No worries.”
“Sure, Odie…but I thought we could get to know each other a little better.”
“Trust me, Dave.” I pointed to the red light. “I’m pretty sure I know all I need too about you, and I’m not that interesting. Hang a left.”
I hope to hell you know what you’re doing, Odie.
CHAPTER 19
MacCabe
THE PUTRID STENCH inside the old warehouse was burning my nose hairs to dust. Piss, shit, and vomit stained the floor surrounding the two assholes securely tied down three feet apart from each other. Ferdi and I had tracked down the fighters who thought it was a good idea to jump ship for greener pastures and set out to convince them that it wasn’t. One was already dead. The other was well on his way, whether or not he gave up the name of his new boss as I’d requested. I let him think there was hope for his survival, and why not? Everyone needed a little hope now and again. When I removed the teeth from his friend’s head one by one with a pair of pliers and rolled them on the floor like dice, I allowed his optimism. I alone controlled his fate, and when I shot his friend through the temple, I was justified in doing so.
“You fucked up, Ripper.” I wiped my bloodied hands down the front of his shirt, barely avoiding the drool that hung from his mouth. “Loyalty, my friend. It’s a simple concept. Try and keep up if you can… I. OWN. YOU.”
“Please, MacCabe, I’m begging you,” he slurred.
“Oh no, don’t bitch up now, motherfucker. You thought you could fuck me and get away with it? Do I look like a bitch?” He still wasn’t getting me, so I repeated, “Do I look like a bitch?”
I punched him hard across the face. My fingers split in the creases on impact.
“I told you from the beginning, don’t you ever try and fuck me, you piece of shit,” I growled louder.
“It wasn’t like that, Darragh. Dude came around flashing stacks of cash, said he’d pay double, more action if we went with him. It was anonymous, no names, I swear. I just wanted the money, man, that’s all. Just the money.”
“And you thought I’d just let you go, two of my top headliners? That I would make an exception ‘cause I’m such a nice guy? What about my money, huh? I don’t deserve to get paid, to make a fucking living? I’m just supposed to be a broke bitch for the rest of my life?”