She giggles, mocking me as I nod. God, I love her. I hold her close, our cheeks pressed together, before snapping a picture and sending it to Jaylin. She responds right away.
Jaylin: Stop. I can’t handle all that cuteness! I can’t wait to kiss you!
I grin as I type back. Me: Same. Hurry over.
Jaylin: Trying! Stressful day.
My grin grows since I know when she gets the roses, her day will get better. I go to put my phone down, but it starts to ring. It’s Willa.
“Hey. What’s up?”
“Hey. Are you home yet?”
“I am. Just arrived.”
“Can you chat for a bit?”
I’d rather not talk about Lilly, but I know I need to. “Yeah, just hanging with my baby girl.”
“Okay. Listen, her lawyer is saying she isn’t coming on Friday. Nor has she signed the papers. But I’m not entirely sure if the witness reports, emails, texts, and everything else we have will be able to resolve this. According to her lawyer, she is wanting to push this back until after Christmas.”
My stomach drops. “What? Why?”
“I don’t know. I am going to fight it. If we can’t get it settled Friday, then I’ll make the next court date sooner. I just wanted to give you an update.”
“Okay,” I say through my teeth. Fuck, I hate Lilly.
“Let me know if you hear from her. Though, I doubt you will. Have you tried calling or texting lately?”
“Not since you told me not to.”
“All right. Maybe send her a text, saying you’ll see her Friday, and see what she says. But in no way fight with her or call her names or allow her to get under your skin. We have to stay smart about this, but maybe you can urge her to sign the papers or show up.”
“I can do that.”
“Great. Keep me in the loop.”
“Will do,” I agree, and then we hang up. I am so annoyed, and I don’t understand what the hell Lilly is thinking right now. She wants to push this to December? For what? What will happen in a couple months that she’ll be ready to give up her rights? She gave them up the moment she dropped Celeste off and decided she wanted to go to Italy instead of being a mother. I know she can be a piece of shit most of the time, but this is downright ridiculous.
Against my better judgment, I dial her number. To my surprise, and maybe by the grace of God, someone answers.
“Hello?” It’s a male voice. I assume, her boyfriend.
“Hey, is Lilly there?”
“Who’s this?”
“Kirby Litman. Her daughter’s father.”
“Ah, yeah. Hold on, man.”
I wait a moment. I hear her say something along the lines of “Why did you answer?” but then she comes on the line. “Kirby, it’s late.”
“Okay, I apologize. But what the hell, Lilly? Why are you dragging ass with this? You said you didn’t want Celeste. Why are you putting me through this and wasting my money?”
“Because I’m not ready to give up my rights.”
“Why? You have had no contact, haven’t even asked how she is—”
“How is she?”
I try so hard to keep calm. “No, don’t do that. You don’t care. You’re being like this to take a hit on me.”
“Maybe so, but I don’t see what the rush is.”
“I want sole custody of my daughter.”
“Why? I’ll always be her mother.”
“I am aware, but you’ll also always be the mother who didn’t want her. Sign the papers—or hell, I’ll pay for you to fly in just to be done.”
She pauses, and I think I might have reached her, but then she says, “My mom doesn’t want me to.”
Fuck. My. Life. “No disrespect to her, but she hasn’t reached out either, Lilly. It’s obvious you guys don’t want anything to do with my child, and that’s fine. I will love her, and there are plenty of people who will love her more. Sign the papers.”
“Oh, so you have someone else?”
“What the hell? Why does that matter? You’re with someone, moved with him, so why does it matter if I am?”
“It’s the black lawyer, isn’t it? The one you were obsessed with and probably cheated on me with.”
“I didn’t. I’m not like you.”
“But it’s her.”
“It doesn’t matter. Sign the papers, or get on a plane.”
“No. I’m not ready.”
“Fine. We’re going to present all your emails and texts, so if you aren’t here to defend yourself or whatever you’re trying to do, I will win.”
“Then why are you calling me?”
“Lilly—”
“Because you know they won’t let you have custody. Why would they? No one ever wants you. You weren’t good enough for your parents or me, and you sure as hell aren’t good enough for Celeste.”
I freeze. I know what’s going on when she gets nasty like that. She feels trapped, and there is nothing else I can say. I hang up the phone, throwing it across the couch, and I cuddle Celeste in my chest. She strokes her fingers along my neck and jaw as I close my eyes, nuzzling my nose in her hair.
I know Lilly was just being hateful, I know what she said isn’t true, but it hurts. Her words feel as if they’re knives, stabbing me everywhere. I know I shouldn’t believe her or even think she is correct. I know she isn’t. But the problem is, I have those kinds of thoughts daily. And hearing them from someone else’s mouth, even it belongs to a cunt like my ex, really does a number on me.
So, I hold my daughter close, my eyes closed as she touches my jaw in such a loving way. I remember that she thinks I hung the moon, the stars, and probably the sun. I remind myself that I’m in a really incredible relationship with a bomb-ass chick who thinks highly of me. My teammates, who are my brothers, love me, and I’m helping a young man with the same issues I struggle with. Over and over again, I remind myself of those things and try so damn hard to convince myself what Lilly said isn’t true.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jaylin
* * *
Feliciana is a gorgeous woman.
She is older than me, wiser, but she looks my age. She has dark skin that is flawless and stunning. Her hair is in tight braids that she has styled into a high bun. I’ve thought over and over again about wearing my hair like that, but I’ve gotten so used to doing my hair natural, and I’m really good at it. I also don’t have the time to sit for hours on end for braids. I have a lot of hair; it would take all day. Since my mom is the only one allowed to touch my hair and that’s a lot of time with my mom, I’m good with my natural hair. Even though the braids do look amazing on Feliciana. I could add extensions for longer hair. I’d look incredible with them. This is why I don’t like hanging with my boss. I start getting hair envy.
I watch as she takes a nice long sip of her wine, and I sit back with my glass leaning on my forearm. She usually doesn’t drink at lunch, but I’m ignoring the idea that she might be nervous about what she needs to say to me and have decided she just wants to cut loose with her favorite employee. It’s honestly the only reason I’m able to sit here still sipping my first glass.