“Are you okay?” I finally ask.
“Am I okay?” he says, taking another deep breath. His eyes open as he turns to face me. “Am I okay?” he repeats. “I thought someone was killing you or fucking…” He trails off, stalking towards me until I open my mouth again, and he freezes in place.
“Taking my virginity?” I finish his sentence for him.
His nostrils flare at my words.
“Two more weeks.” I hold my fingers up and wiggle them. “They’re getting me ready.” I drop my hand and let out a small gasp at the stinging skin between my legs.
Cillian clears the rest of the space between him and my bed. He pulls at the blanket. I grab it before it slips off my lap.
“You walked naked in front of me hours ago.” He all but growls. True.
“Yes, that was before. I’ve decided to stop fighting this.”
His jaw flexes.
I sigh at the impossibility of us. I’ve already been sold to another man. “It’s inevitable. There is no stopping what’s going to happen, so I might as well begin to come to terms with it.” I watch as he fists his hands at his side.
We have a stare off that I lose when I go to move again and wince.
“I need to see.” When he tugs again, I let the blanket go. My legs are closed, but you can see the top of my sex is red. I open my legs more, wanting a look for myself.
Cillian moves faster than I can, spreading my thighs wide. The cool air in my bedroom feels good.
“You’re bare.”
My heart starts to pound as one of his fingers gently trails down the lips of my sex. Not a hair to be found. It stings but also feels … so good. I want more of his touch.
“She did it everywhere. Even...” I trail off.
“Your asshole?” His finger finds my clit. The throb of pain vanishes as he gently rubs me. I drop back, my thighs opening more for him. “Answer me.”
I groan in protest when his finger stops moving.
“Yes,” I purr.
He goes back to stroking me. My hips start to move back and forth with him. The orgasm is coming too fast, as if my body is scared he might stop. He always stops. He always walks away from me. He’s never come this close to me, much less touched me. Maybe I’m in a post-wax dream, passed out from the pain.
When I lift my hips up, his other hand grips my ass. A moment later, I feel something push against my puckered hole. His thick finger continues to rub against it.
“I don’t think…”
“I think I could fuck you here, and no one would ever know.” His words are my undoing.
I cry out his name as I come. Black spots dance in my eyes. The things I’ve done to bring myself pleasure over the years pale in comparison to this moment. I’m already half in love with the man. This is not going to help that.
My eyes slowly open to see him staring at me. His eyes trail across every inch of me. I might feel self-conscious except I can see through his pants how hard he is for me. He lifts his finger from my clit, smelling it before he licks it clean.
“Are you going to do something with that?” My eyes drop to the outline of his cock. His next words make it feel as though a bucket of ice water has been thrown on me.
“Not with you.” He turns and stomps from the room. I grab a pillow because it’s the only thing in reaching distance and throw it, but it only hits my door a second after he closed it.
Which only makes me scream again.
5
Cillian
I make it to my bedroom, slam the door, then free my cock as I rush to the bathroom. It only takes a few strokes before I come, my seed spurting out all over my hand and the sink before I can take a breath.
The taste of her cunt still lingers in my mouth, and every time I close my eyes I see that sweet little pussy, untouched by anyone.
I blink hard at myself in the mirror. “Fuck, you idiot.” Cara was untouched. Until I broke. Until I saw her bare cunt and couldn’t control myself. I fingered her, never even penetrating her wetness, and it was enough. Oh fuck, was it enough. She came so beautifully, her cunt demanding more than just a finger. It needs a cock. My cock. The next time it’s red and swollen, it should be because I fucking gave her all I’ve got.
No. I can’t think like this. That’s not the reason I’m here. I try to clear the lust fog from my brain as I clean up and adjust my suit and tie.
Everything is the same. Just because I touched her—fuck, I did more than that, but it doesn’t matter. My mission is still the overthrow of Kaden McKibbon. Cara isn’t part of that plan, other than the fact that I’ll never let her marry that bastard Sutcliffe. The wedding won’t happen. I’ll take care of Kaden, and then—
My phone buzzes in my pocket. I grab it and groan when I see who’s calling.
With a quick tap, I answer. “You know not to call me on this line.”
“Can it, little brother,” Sean squawks. “You take Kaden out yet?”
“You know that’s not the plan.”
“Should be, but Granddad is just shitting his chance away.” He makes a rude noise. “Sending you over there to be a spy when we should just go in guns blazing and end them all.”
“Is there a reason for this call, Sean?” I want to throttle him, but I keep my voice low. “Because it could get me killed.”
“Oh, calm your bloomers, sheesh. I was just checking in. I heard that big wedding is still happening in a couple weeks, so I assumed you’d lost your nerve. Typical little brother shit.”
“I may be younger, but I can still kick the shit out of you. Don’t call me again.” I hang up and glare at the phone.
When I was chosen for this job, Sean gave me loads of shit about it. But that’s why I was chosen instead of him. I’m an O’Donnell, but I don’t go swinging my dick around and making noise. Most didn’t even know I was in the family. That’s what made me the perfect plant in the McKibbon syndicate.
I pocket my phone as my thoughts stray back to Cara. If I fail at this, then what Sean suggested may come to pass. If I can’t stop this wedding and shut down any alliance between Kaden and the Sutcliffes, then my family may well commit a massacre to keep the status quo.
Running a hand down my face, I stride into the hall and back up to the second floor where I take position outside Cara’s room. I can feel her in there, though I don’t know what she’s doing. So much hinges on her. If only Kaden had promised her to my cousin Ian, we wouldn’t be in this fucking mess. Then again, Ian is a motherfucker, one I’d never let touch Cara. She’s too good for him. Too good for me.
I straighten my tie, though it’s already perfect. I’m antsy. In fact, I’m desperate to see her again, to taste her again. But I can’t. It’s not an option. If Kaden catches me, I’m dead. If anyone catches on to what I’m here for, I’m dead. I just have to wait it out. When my grandfather gives the signal, that’s when I take Kaden out. Once he’s gone, I can figure out the rest from there. All I have to do is keep it professional with Cara from here on out.
“Cillian?” Her sweet voice knocks me from my thoughts. She’s in her doorway, a light pink dress hugging her breasts and flowing out around her hips. I lick my lips.