“What can I do for you, Ms. McKibbon?” I keep my tone level.
Her gaze falls, and it’s as if I can feel the hurt rippling through her. “We’re back to Ms. McKibbon again? That was … fast.” She blinks as if there are tears welling.
I should stand right where I am. There’s no reason for me to talk to her more, much less comfort her.
But I’m a fool. Maybe Sean was right.
Because instead of standing my ground, I push her into her room and close the door behind us.
Her big green eyes swim with tears. “What are you—”
And then I fuck up again. I kiss her. Hard. She’s shocked at first, but then she melts against me, her body going slack as I wrap my arms around her. Then she parts her lips, giving me a taste of her.
I groan into her mouth, my tongue plundering her as I back her to the bed. Wanting her for all these months has broken me down, and then what we did earlier—I can’t seem to get a grip.
Though it takes all my strength, I pull back from her.
Her eyelashes flutter as she looks up at me again. “Cillian.”
“This can’t happen again.” I force the words from my mouth, but everything in me screams the opposite. I want it to happen again. In fact, I want it right now.
I step back as Sasha jumps up on her bed. “I’m going to protect you, Cara. That’s my job, and I promise you I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Including me.
Her eyes turn sad, so deeply sad that it hurts me just to see her like this. “Once I’m married, you can’t help me. Lord Sutcliffe isn’t a kind man.” She swallows hard. “But there’s no way out. There never was.” She scratches Sasha’s cheek. “We’re both pets, you and me. But we can make the most of it until we get collared, can’t we, girl?”
I reach out and catch a tear before it falls, my fingers brushing her cheek. She leans into my touch. It feels real, so much like a dream but real. Her touch, her warmth.
I hear the door opening only a second before Calida, Cara’s stepmother, pokes her head through. I manage to pull my hand away in time.
“Did you get the full wax?” she asks, too drunk to even notice that I’m standing too close to Cara. That I shouldn’t even be in this room, much less so close to Cara and her bed.
Cara stiffens. “I don’t want to talk about—”
“Charles Sutcliffe expects a pristine bride, so that hair better be gone.” Calida slides her gaze to me. “My turf is always nice and smooth, of course, because I’m a lady.”
“A stripper, you mean,” Cara says under her breath.
“Is there something I can help you with, Mrs. McKibbon?” I step in front of Cara, lest Calida heard her words.
“Anyway—” Calida sniffs and leans against the doorframe in what must be her sultriest pose. “Ciliian. I’m looking for Maria. Have you seen her?”
“Check Dad’s office,” Cara says from behind me. “I hear she’s been in there quite a bit lately.”
I don’t smile. I want to, but I manage to keep it to myself. “She was in that vicinity the last I saw her.” I give a nod.
“Oh.” Calida, blond, oblivious, and high as a kite, smiles. “I’ll go see. You know where my rooms are if you need a break from babysitting duty.” She gives me a slow wink, turns, almost stumbles, then rights herself as she struts down the hallway in heels that are far too high for a casual day at home.
I follow her into the hall and resume my usual stance.
Cara stands in her doorway, her eyes on me. I can’t meet her gaze. If I do, I’ll break all the way and do filthy things to her. Things that a pure girl like her wouldn’t even begin to understand, even if she did enjoy them.
“Cillian?” She calls my name, her sadness gone, and something else twinkling in her eyes. Mischief. The kind I’m used to from her.
“Yes?”
She slowly pulls her dress up until I can see her tender skin, the smooth flesh that I know is the softest thing I’ve ever felt. “Is it still red, or would you say it’s more of a pink?”
I scrub a hand down my face. Fuck. Me.
6
Cara
Sasha flicks her tail back and forth as we lie out, enjoying the sun. The warm rays feel good on my skin, and it’s nice to get out of my bedroom. Not that I get to go far. My father is keeping my leash very short these days.
I wonder if everyone can tell that I’m constantly thinking about running? It’s definitely an option. A very risky one but still an option. The one thing that keeps holding me back is Cillian.
The thought of escaping and never seeing him again keeps me from doing it. I also fear the wrath that would come down on Cillian’s head if I slipped away.
He would likely be killed for failing to do his job. I’m between a rock and a hard place, having to choose between his life and mine. It’s so messed up.
There’s no hope of changing my father’s mind. Maybe I shouldn't even care about Cillian’s life if he’s so willing to toss me to the wolves in this arranged farce of a marriage. That’s what the selfish part of me tries to reason, but my heart tells me something different.
I guess I could escape after I got married. But that would mean I’d have to spend a few nights in my new husband's bed. My stomach turns at the thought.
What if I get pregnant? What if I couldn't get away when I got there? Could I bring a child into that sort of life? No.
Cillian is still ignoring me. It’s been two days since I was waxed. Two days since he touched and kissed me like I was precious to him. But then he went cold. The way he is now.
I reach for my sunglasses and slip them on before anyone can see the tears pooling in my eyes. I try not to think about it, but I can’t stop. Time is running out, and sooner rather than later I’m going to have to make a decision.
“Can’t you keep her on her schedule?” I hear Maria hiss. I open my eyes to see her coming my way. Lovely. There goes my good mood.
Why can’t everyone leave me alone? Okay, maybe not everyone. I enjoy my Sasha and Cillian. I want us to be left alone.
“I’m only here to keep her safe. I’m not her personal assistant,” Cillian says, sounding so bored. He drops his folded arms. He wouldn’t be so bored if he let me put on my bikini. At least I could have given him a little show. Instead, he made me put on a one piece.
He’s back to being cold to me again. I didn't even fight him when he told me to go change my swimsuit. I’m too exhausted from the damn whiplash he’s been giving me with his mood swings. I have to admit the thought that I could be losing the fight in me scares me. I can’t afford that now.
“Get up and put some clothes on. The dresses are here for you to try on.” I pull my eyes off Cillian. Not that anyone can tell what I’m looking at behind my sunglasses. I don’t miss the looks Maria keeps flicking over at him. She’s so desperate for his attention.
It’s almost embarrassing. And that’s coming from a girl who does outrageous things to ruffle his feathers. I have to admit it gives me great pleasure knowing that he doesn’t pay her any attention, which only pisses her off. Everyone always looks when Maria walks into a room. I have to admit, though, she’s been glaring at him more than anything. I wonder if something happened between the two of them?