Eva tasted just like I remembered.
She tasted like a huge fucking mistake. But I couldn’t stop myself. I needed this. Her. I needed one more kiss to remind me that what we shared in Camdena wasn’t a figment of my imagination, that it was real.
Eva’s hand slid against my chest, twisting into the damp material as our tongues danced together. I didn’t care if I needed a shower or a change of clothes. In that moment, I only cared about this. I should have known it wouldn’t be enough, should have known the second I kissed her lips I’d want more.
So much more.
I fitted my body against hers, pressing Eva into the wall. She moaned softly, rolling her hips into me. “Rafe…” My name was a prayer on her lips.
“We can’t do this,” I murmured unwilling to break the kiss, tracing my mouth over her jaw and down the column of her neck.
“We can…” Eva smothered a moan when I nipped the bare skin along her collarbone. One of her hands slipped between our bodies, palming me through my jeans. If my dick was hard before it was rock solid now and desperate to feel her. But we couldn’t do this.
We couldn’t fucking do this.
Sliding my hand to the base of Eva’s neck, I held her there, brushing my nose featherlight over hers. “We can’t.”
“Because you don’t want me?”
“Want you? I fucking…” I stopped myself dead, sucking in a harsh breath. “Because you’re strictly off-limits and this will complicate things, and I don’t want to do that to you.”
“So you’re doin' this for my benefit?” She levelled me with a gut-wrenching look.
“Alistair will have my balls if I touch you. If any of us touch you.”
“I don’t want anyone else to touch me, Rafe. I only want you.” She tried to kiss me again, grazing my lips with her own. “You’re really doin’ this… again?”
My jaw clenched, my silence deafening.
“Fine. I get it. Just tell me one thing and we’re done here.” Her gaze turned icy, the lust that had been swirling there giving way to fiery anger. “Tell me you don’t want me. Look me in the eye, Rafe. Look me in the eye and tell me I’m nothin’ to you.”
“Eva…”
“Say it,” she seethed.
But I couldn’t do it.
And that was the problem—Eva clouded my judgment.
“Coward.” Eva shouldered past me, catching me off guard. I slumped against the wall. “Molly was right about you, Rafe Hunter.” Glaring out at me, Eva’s walls slammed up and pushed me out. “I should have kicked you in the balls the second I laid eyes on you again.” She yanked the door open and stormed out of the room, leaving me alone.
I should have been relieved.
I wasn’t.
Eva
“You’re sure something didn’t happen?” Letty asked me for the third time since I dragged my exhausted body onto the bus. It was late, I was cranky, and there was no escaping the other four people on the bus with us. Thankfully, Riley had already retired to her bunk, so I wasn’t forced to sit and look at her sour face.
“Nothin’ happened. I just got overwhelmed. It isn’t every day a rock star drags you onstage to perform with him.”
“I already told you, you don’t need to worry. Everyone loved it. It’s all over social media. There’s even a hashtag. #hunterwalkermagic.” Letty’s eyes lit up. She was loving this; the whole damn team was. By all accounts, as far as opening shows went, this one had been a roaring success. Alistair was already talking about making me a permanent feature of their set which was… un-freakin-believable.
But I had other things on my mind.
Other Rafe Hunter shaped things.
He’d felt so good pressed up against me. My walls had crumbled like sand and I’d pretty much thrown myself at him. But the second his lips touched mine, I felt it. The connection between us. The tether that had rooted itself deep inside me that weekend in Camdena. I was prepared to come here and be civil—to do what I needed to do to get through the tour.
I wasn’t prepared to discover Rafe still cared.
Now I knew the truth though, and I couldn’t just switch off my feelings. It didn’t work like that. As I was quickly discovering, I didn’t work like that. But I was treading unchartered waters. I knew he was worried about Alistair’s rules about me being off-limits. But I couldn’t help wonder if there was more to it. If his complicated relationship with Levi had anything to do with why he was fighting his feelings for me.
“You don’t have to sit up with me,” I said to Letty. “Get some sleep, it’s late.”
“You’re sure?” She smothered a yawn, and I nodded.
“Go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Congratulations on your first show, Eva. I know it still doesn’t feel real, but it will. Give it time and don’t listen to anyone who says you don’t deserve to be here because tonight you more than proved you do.” She traipsed down the bus to the bathroom. It was so quiet, with only the low rumble of the engine beneath my feet, that there was nothing to drown out my thoughts.
And there were many.
I was here for my parents—to repay them for everything they’d given up for me. But now that I was here, and I’d seen Rafe again, I couldn’t help but wonder if my motivations were entirely selfless. Or if a small part of me, a part I’d locked away, was here because I’d clung onto the idea that there had been something real between me and Rafe.
Because I wanted it to be real.
I needed it to be.
I didn’t want to be that girl, the girl pining over love lost and hearts broken, I didn’t. But I also refused to accept that was it. I’d felt something with Rafe, not just inside me, but coming from him. A deep-seated need that transcended attraction and lust. I filled something inside him just as he filled a missing piece of me. But I wouldn’t push. Not until I had answers.
Finally, unable to sit with my thoughts for a second longer, I made my way to my bunk and climbed inside, pulling across the curtain. Soft snores drifted over from Letty’s bunk while Riley mumbled something in her sleep from the bunk above. I’d only ever had a sleepover with Molly and now I shared my nights with five other people; three of whom I’d barely had time to get to know thanks to their intense schedules. But when you were assistants to the production and road managers, the very people whose job it was to make sure the tour ran without a hitch, there was a lot to do.
My mind drifted to the other bus. I wondered if Rafe was already sleeping or if he was lying awake like me. I’d heard the stories about the bands crazy tour antics but had yet to witness any. There was plenty of time yet, I supposed. I knew from my brief visit onboard their bus that it was flashier, with not one, but two artist bedrooms. I’d even asked Letty how the guys agreed who got what room, but she’d simply smirked and told me not to ask questions I wouldn’t like the answers to.
I guess I’d walked right into that one.
Maybe they weren’t asleep at all. Maybe Levi had them all playing some crazy drinking game or Hudson was annoying them with his lame-assed jokes. Damon would be sitting there rolling his eyes like the dad-figure I sensed he was. But I would never know because although I was on tour with them, I wasn’t with them. They were Black Hearts Still Beat, four friends bound together through more than just their music, and I was Evangeline Walker, a small-town girl swept up in their world. They could joke with me and make me feel welcome, invite me up on stage, and treat me like one of the guys, but they would always share something special.