“Wait a second.” He pulled me back down, kissing me. “I wish things could be different, Eva. I wish I could walk out there with you and declare you mine for all to see.”
“But you won’t do that to your band, to Levi.” Guilt flashed in Rafe’s eyes and I knew I was right. Only I couldn’t help but wonder who he felt most guilty toward—me, for choosing Levi; or Levi, for choosing me.
“Levi doesn’t want me, Rafe, it’s not like that between us.”
“He’d still see it as a betrayal,” Rafe let out a pained sigh. Tipping his head back, he closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. I could feel his torment and all I wanted to do was take it away. To carry it as my own.
I leaned in, kissing just above his Adam’s apple. “Tell me what to do, Rafe. Do you want me to walk away? To forget that this feels right.” I pressed my hand to his chest, right where his heart lay, and his hand covered mine.
“I thought I could give you up.” His eyes dropped to mine, dark, stormy, and full of so much emotion my breath caught. “I can’t.” Rafe leaned in, touching his head to mine, breathing me in. “I can’t walk away.”
“It’s okay,” I offered, bringing my hands to his face. “We’ll figure it out.”
“Eva, I—” A loud knock on the door startled me.
“It’s Travis,” Rafe said grimly. “We need to go.”
“I’ll go first?” My stomach knotted at the thought of leaving him, of going back out there and pretending I didn’t care. But our time was up.
He gave me a tight nod, dropping a quick kiss on my lips. “See you soon.”
I gave myself a second to calm my racing pulse and run a hand through my no-doubt disheveled curls, before hurrying to the door and slipping out of the room. I didn’t look back. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to see Rafe’s face in the darkness. The guilt and regret and longing.
“Eva,” Travis said. “Ms. Castiel is looking for you.”
“Thanks, Travis.” I knew I was blushing, but Travis knew what we’d been doing. “And thank you for…”
He nodded, his face a mask of indifference. Then he cleared his throat. “It’s probably not my place to say this, Eva—”
“So don’t.” I smiled. “I appreciate your concern, I do. But things with me and Rafe are complicated. I’m grateful for your discretion, Travis.”
“Understood.” Travis accompanied me back into the club where Letty ambushed me.
“Where the hell have you been?”
“I went to the restroom and then needed some air. Why, what happened?”
“Levi got into it with some guy.”
“Is he okay?” Dread snaked through me.
“He’ll live, but the other guy got a little bloodied up. Damon and Hudson left with him already, and Alistair is trying to smooth things over with the guy. We need to leave.”
“Yeah, okay.” My thoughts were running a mile a minute.
Letty scanned the club. “Have you seen Rafe? He wasn’t with the guys. I thought he might be with—”
“Hey.” He approached us. “What’s up?”
“Levi threw a fit and now we all have to bail.”
“Fuck,” Rafe pressed the heel of his palm to his head. “They already left?”
Letty nodded but she seemed distracted, watching Rafe a little too closely. “Where were you?” she asked him.
“I… Kiki Felps. She wouldn’t leave me alone, so I told her I had an emergency and went to get some air with Fenton.”
“Air, huh.” Her eyes slid to mine, glittering with suspicion.
“We should go,” I pointed out.
As we left the club, Letty stopped to discuss something with Riley. She looked stressed, hovering behind Alistair as he dealt with the aftermath of Levi’s meltdown. I peeked over at Rafe as we piled into the SUV, but his eyes were hard, focused only on the road. Dejection burned through me, but I knew he felt guilty for being with me when Levi had lost it, because part of me felt guilty too. I inched my fingers across the leather until they brushed Rafe’s. His body sagged into the seat as he let his fingers graze mine right back.
“Shit.” The sound of Letty’s voice made me snatch my hand away and shove it underneath my thigh. “There’s a grainy video.”
“Already?”
“Someone posted it on social media. I need to call PR.” Her fingers flew across the screen and then her cell blared to life.
“Is this bad?” I whispered to Rafe.
“It’s not good, but it’s nothing we haven’t experienced a hundred times already. PR will kill the video and issue an apology and the world will keep on turning.”
“What do you think happened?”
“Any number of things. My brother has a long list of triggers.” He finally gave me his eyes. “I just need to get to him.”
These brothers. These complicated confusing brothers.
The minutes seemed to drag on, but finally, the hotel came into view. Travis parked around the back and we slipped in through the service entrance. Letty was still talking to PR as security ushered us into the elevator. She covered the mouthpiece and said, “Go to the band’s suite, and I’ll be there soon, okay?”
“But—”
“We got it, Letty,” Rafe said. “Go do your thing.” They shared a look and my assistant took off down the hall and the doors closed.
The pit in my stomach grew and grew. But it wasn’t until we stepped off the elevator that I knew something was wrong.
Really wrong.
I could hear screaming, glass shattering, and more raised voices.
“Maybe I should escort Eva back to her suite,” Travis suggested, but Rafe let out an exasperated breath and said, “She comes with me.”
He took my elbow and guided me down the hall. “I’m sorry you have to see this, Eva.” The regret in his voice made my heart ache. I didn’t want him to have to hide from me, to conceal the truth about Levi. But nothing could have prepared me for the devastation I found when we stepped into the suite.
“Stay right here,” Rafe said before he moved deeper into the room. Shards of glass were littered over the floor like a blanket of fresh ice. Furniture was overturned, and cushions were strewn everywhere.
“CALM THE FUCK DOWN,” someone yelled, startling me. Hudson, I think.
“You didn’t fucking hear the things he said, so don’t tell me to calm the fuck down. That fucker wanted to hurt her, he wanted to—” Something crashed against the wall, reverberating through the room.
“Levi,” that was Rafe.
“You. Where the fuck were you, huh, little brother?” Levi sneered.
“I’m here now, talk to me, tell me what happened.”
I didn’t mean to, but I found myself moving through the suite, drawn to the desperation in Levi’s voice. The pain.
“That fucking asshole pushed me, he started talking all this shit and I couldn’t listen to it, I couldn’t hear him saying those things.”
“What things? What was he saying?”
“Eva.” My name echoed around the room, hitting me right in my chest and stealing the air from my lungs.